David Clapson
Well-Known Member
Never mind colleagues catching on, what about professional psych evalautions? Don't they have those? Not even with the ones with guns?
RIP Sarah Everard, who went missing from Brixton in March 2021
- Thread starter trashpony
- Start date
Plumdaff
joy in people
They do, but they are not 100% reliable. Very few things are. People lie, people change, the police force notoriously has an internal culture of backing up colleagues even when they behave appallingly, all in all a lot of factors that could go wrong.
Zapp Brannigan
Built like a steakhouse, handles like a bistro
Most psych testing is subtle. If it wasn't, it would be easy for a psychopath to give the "right" answers and off they go. What psych tests should reveal are character traits and tendencies on sliding scales.
Sadly in an industry such as policing where things like coercion, manipulation and ability to get people to willingly hand over information are considered valuable skills, there is a very small difference between a character evaluation of someone capable of horrific crimes, and one of someone earmarked for promotion.
Pickman's model
Starry Wisdom
yeh like the number of times armed cops have threatened to lay down their guns when colleagues who've killed unarmed and innocent people have been threatened with prosecution
stethoscope
Well-Known Member
Not just on the street. Just before lockdown, being pretty lonely I had started to have some pleasant conversations with a guy on my bus home from work before he got off a way before I do. Anyone whom has met me will know I'm a pretty friendly, non-assuming person, and we seem to get on and it passed the otherwise crap bus journey and seemed nice and relaxed. We shared numbers as I thought it might just be nice to have a pint sometime and perhaps we'll build a friendship too. It took about two text conversations before he started getting really suggestive , and then trying to engage me in chats in the evening when I was just tired from work and looking forward to some home/me time, and onto then wishing me a good night/sweet dreams in the evening and getting quite pushy.
In the end, I just had to be rude and also told him I was unavailable to step back. I just wanted someone to have a bit of a chat and perhaps make friends with, and absolutely nothing in my conduct leading upto it was anything more than that.
David Clapson
Well-Known Member
I hope this case can be a turning point. If more men start to pressure the misogynist men they know, maybe things can get better. The focus must be on men fixing this. Women are already doing far, far too much. How do we get men to step up?
Poot
My wife thinks I work too hard
I think the words, 'but he seemed so normal!' are uttered quite a lot, as though it ought to be obvious. It isn't, though. Women sometimes have a spidey sense that men just don't have from years of being exposed to this stuff. ('what, Steve? Naaaah. Steve's alright! etc) but even then you can't be sure. And anything that gets tested for has a fairly obvious 'correct' answer, so people are not going to give much away.
However, cruelty to animals, sexual assaults, coercion, harming anyone for any reason, all these give more of a clue. That's why people need to fucking listen to that stuff.
Pickman's model
Starry Wisdom
i think you're not being entirely realistic. these attitudes don't form overnight and so aren't going to be changed so quickly. and people have to admit they have a problem before they're going to change. it's not imo enough to say 'men must fix this' - it's going to require greater effort and change on the part of the media and wider socialisation to achieve that goal. not that it's not important to challenge those attitudes when encountered. but a greater societal effort has to be made, across education and culture as well as on an individual level. i'd expect it's much easier to prevent these attitudes, to instil different ones, than it is to change them.
Treacle Toes
Time
David Clapson
Well-Known Member
Why did it take so long? Because the body had been disfigured/dismembered by the murderer?
Treacle Toes
Time
No idea. Given it's likely been done by one of their own I think they are being cautious.
Pickman's model
Starry Wisdom
because there's a process they go through, which includes formal identification of remains. this is for many people distressing enough without unfounded guff about mutilations being added to the mix, so perhaps you could give some thought to how you phrase your next posts.
David Clapson
Well-Known Member
I can't see why you would murder someone for pleasure unless you were a lunatic. And if he is, wouldn't there be more chance of him being locked up for life, instead of getting parole after 20 years?
David Clapson
Well-Known Member
I'll stop posting, I'm too upset. Ignore me.
bimble
floofy
I dont want to speculate on his motivation, but human beings do horrendous things without being 'mad'.
stethoscope
Well-Known Member
Isn't the point that the alleged (or indeed anyone committing such) is probably not a 'lunatic' in any sort of easily attributable mental health/psych sense at all? But that gender inequality, power relations empower men over women and are ubiquitous, and those imbalances are socialised so very young for boys/men so that the violent behaviours become 'normalised' amongst many men even if not enacted regularly. Just as people do all manner of horrible things often with power relations - racist attacks, homophobic/transphobic hate crimes, etc. but they're not attributable to mental illness.
For some reason, I seem to recall an old post of mine here about drawing a comparison between all cops as bastards and all men are rapists. Whilst clearly not all are in either case, it's about the use/abuse of power, and how do you know?
Mrs Miggins
Eternal
It's not even been 2 full days which feels pretty quick to me.
SheilaNaGig
Break requested
Right. So when running the risk assessment stuff, it’s sensible to start from the position of “this man is capable of doing me/ intends to do me harm” and work back from there.
Because of things like you describe a little earlier stethoscope my heart actually sinks when a new person asks me for my number. Because it indicates to me that they weren’t just enjoying the chat, they had ulterior motives the entire time they were talking to me.
HarmonyFlow
New Member
Thank you for the welcome.
I guess I just no longer have time for nonsense from anyone after strengthening my own personal boundaries in life, but you are right, challenging others in life(SM in particular)is important, if nothing else, to highlight just how dangerous or inaccurate another’s views may be.
not-bono-ever
meh
.
SheilaNaGig
Break requested
stethoscope
Well-Known Member
Yeah, that's exactly how it ended up making me look at it, and it totally floored me. I'm guarded enough at times because of past experiences and personal reasons, but I actually thought this could be something just nice and friendly and mutual. And that's how it turned out.
SheilaNaGig
Break requested
Athos
Well-Known Member
gaijingirl
Well-Known Member
I saw this too and it really annoyed me - it's not captured in your screenshot but his parting shot was a super-snide "good luck girls with your protest". I almost responded but I hate to get into arguments online and/or feed trolls. I was in two minds about whether I would go to this vigil (I'm not great in crowds) but as a direct consequence of reading his contributions, I decided to go and my having discussed it with her, my eldest daughter will come with me. So, fuck him.
trashpony
Hag
I'm so sorry that it has turned out to be Sarah. I'm sure we all knew but without concrete proof there is always hope. I cannot imagine what her family and friends are going through.
I read the thread you linked to killer b
I wasn't taught to be frightened - I grew up spending days running around the countryside with my sister with no adult supervision. And I have never curtailed my behaviour - I do travel home alone in the evenings, I don't get taxis everywhere like some women I know.
But I have been assaulted - several times. Luckily, not seriously and I haven't stopped going out alone. But equally, I have always tried to do all the right things to minimise risks while still doing it as SheilaNaGig said. But it's exhausting having to think about it all the bloody time.
Sarah Everard did all the right things too.
I read the thread you linked to killer b
I wasn't taught to be frightened - I grew up spending days running around the countryside with my sister with no adult supervision. And I have never curtailed my behaviour - I do travel home alone in the evenings, I don't get taxis everywhere like some women I know.
But I have been assaulted - several times. Luckily, not seriously and I haven't stopped going out alone. But equally, I have always tried to do all the right things to minimise risks while still doing it as SheilaNaGig said. But it's exhausting having to think about it all the bloody time.
Sarah Everard did all the right things too.
existentialist
Tired and unemotional
Or maybe they develop such traits through being in the police? Perhaps with a certain amount of (latent or otherwise) predisposition to it in the first place.
