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Religion - Great!

alfajobrob

I have the emails..
Banned
Just don't bring it up at a works Xmas dinner ho ho feckn ho when I'm sitting between a muslim and catholic and I am contractually obliged to be semi polite to the backward morons and make small talk.

Bad subject.
 
Yeah - that's not allowed. I'd love to do that but would be straight up with HR if I even questioned anything:)

I've just got a etched on smile for these occasions now but it really fucks me off.
 
have your read the god delusion.?

would appear to be right up your alley..
 
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Some years ago the place I worked gave Muslim extra breaks during Ramadan, so I said I was Muslim and wanted the extra breaks. A while later was a major Jewish festival so I demanded that, as a jew, I should be allowed time for my devotions. I was told it wasn't possible. Then there was a christian festival. I said I'd converted and could I have some time to celebrate. On St Patrick day there was food to celebrate St Paddy, I asked for special menu for St Andrew and George saying that if it could be done for one it should be for all. I got into a lot of trouble for "taking the fucking piss"

But I'd had great fun causing the trouble. :D
 
Some years ago the place I worked gave Muslim extra breaks during Ramadan, so I said I was Muslim and wanted the extra breaks. A while later was a major Jewish festival so I demanded that, as a jew, I should be allowed time for my devotions. I was told it wasn't possible. Then there was a christian festival. I said I'd converted and could I have some time to celebrate. On St Patrick day there was food to celebrate St Paddy, I asked for special menu for St Andrew and George saying that if it could be done for one it should be for all. I got into a lot of trouble for "taking the fucking piss"

But I'd had great fun causing the trouble. :D
What have you got against the Welsh?
 
I have to be nice and polite at work all the time unfortunately. This I regarded as extracurricular.
It's a good opportunity to develop some strong conversational skills. Make it your task (entertainment) to gently and subtly divert the subject to something more neutral every time it starts to get a bit confrontational. Or, for extra laughs, join in the fun and play devil's advocate to everything. Or do the "well, I don't think that's nearly extreme enough..." line on it until they rumble you. Then they will be united in their enmity towards you for leading them on, and you will have achieved interfaith peace.

One soul (OK, maybe 2) at a time...
 
Sorry to be boring: religion is a load of bollocks but can still be the starting point for an interesting conversation with workmates which will help people to understand each other and what they are like outside of work (you can maybe steer the talk round to families for example).
 
Just make up your own equally bonkers religion and start talking enthusiastically about it.

All the bonkers ideas have gone. The don't work some days, don't eat certain foods, pray to elephants, face certain ways to pray, have long lists of rules, pray before eating, make signs before playing football, wearing fancy dress, building huge buildings, killing people for disagreeing, not allowing marriage, not allowing women to drive... ...
 
Sorry to be boring: religion is a load of bollocks but can still be the starting point for an interesting conversation with workmates which will help people to understand each other and what they are like outside of work (you can maybe steer the talk round to families for example).

I find myself endlessly quoting Father Ted and occasionally Life of Brian, and sadly both are often met with blank naïve looks.
 
Just don't bring it up at a works Xmas dinner ho ho feckn ho when I'm sitting between a muslim and catholic and I am contractually obliged to be semi polite to the backward morons and make small talk.

That would make me want to quit ... alternatively pick a subject that means they will try and score points about because their imaginary friend has these rules, but that you can outscore them on better examples and outdo their rules.
I suppose it would also depend on whether you have to work directly with them.
 
Or if it really bothers you, don't discuss religion. It isn't compulsory. Talk about Eli Wallach, or Home Alone, or Beano annuals, or baking , or dogs, or summer holidays, or where you grew up, or extreme weather, or your favourite cafe, the big news story of the day, your worst ever hangover, whether time travel is possible, great cheeses of the world, the best book you've ever read, what became of the cast of Whatever Happened to the Likely Lads, where all the public phones are these days, what's that next to the mashed potatoes, who is the guy sitting next to Kate from packing, how do you balance twenty pence on a floating lemon, what is a fatoomsh?
 
Pastafarianism because atheism doesnt really express my contempt for organised relegion.
The fuckers who wrote that faith in the 21st century bollocks want to add more faith leaders to the house of lords how about instead we chin off the bishops job done?
Islam doesnt have a central authority not sure hinduism does either so whoever you grabbed wouldnt really represent the faithful unlike the c of e or cathloicsim which have a heriarachy so if somebody is the bishop they do have some sort of standing.
Religious law tends not to be full of tolerence and understanding of non belivers and seen as an excuse to get with the smiting rather than mercy and forgiveness.
 
We've had decades of satire of Christianity and Judaism. I wish someone beyond Charlie Hebdo, South Park et al would have the balls to commission more mocking of all unsubstantiated deism.
 
We've had decades of satire of Christianity and Judaism. I wish someone beyond Charlie Hebdo, South Park et al would have the balls to commission more mocking of all unsubstantiated deism.

The thing is taking the piss out of Muslims etc is basically pissing on people who are on the bottom of the pile at the moment.
 
I said satirise religion, not everyone who subscribes to a particular cult, although some may choose to take offence by association.
 
Uhm... did either of them bring up religion? Do you presume that all anyone with a religious belief wants to talk about is religion? Did it ever occur to the OP that it's just a tad judgemental and superior to label someone, whose lifestyle and relationship to their religionhe/she presumably has only the vaguest concept of, as 'backwards morons'?
 
Uhm... did either of them bring up religion? Do you presume that all anyone with a religious belief wants to talk about is religion? Did it ever occur to the OP that it's just a tad judgemental and superior to label someone, whose lifestyle and relationship to their religionhe/she presumably has only the vaguest concept of, as 'backwards morons'?

Depends. I know and have met many religious folk and found them to be judgemental, obssessed with what others get up to in their sex lives and racist. On the other hand, I have met quite a few who are balanced and decent.
 
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