Really tacky Premiership gimmicks and other modern football crap

[Monkeygrinder's Organ]

Sadly even non-league is succumbing to some of this nonsense, like lining up for the handshakes before kick off.

The start of matches should be the players sprinting out of the tunnel, doing a few stretches and kicking off after the coin toss. I can't see that shaking hands with all your opponents in a line before kick off adds anything to the respect they have for each other.

TBH at Dulwich there are cheap beers up until kick off, so at that point I'm normally at the bar getting one in to take out for the first half and missing that part anyway.

 

[Libertad]

Fucking cheer leaders (apologies if some one else has put this, I haven't read the whole because cheer leaders piss me off so fucking much) in ANY sport.

What's the point?
Do people need to be told when to cheer?
If you don't know then don't turn up!

Plus I find it all a bit purvy to be honest, a group of post-pudescent girls dancing around in front of a ground of, inherently, middle aged men.

We've had them for years to my eternal shame:

 

[ffsear]

Ah yes, Club Wembley and that. May 2007, 40,000 Bristolians half filled Wembley to see the Gas go up - the pictures of happy celebrating fans being marred by a massive strip of empty seats between the top and bottom tiers. Sad and ugly

palace only got 30,000 last year, Watford the same! I make that 20,000ish corporate tickets. Joke

 

[editor]

Oh, and fucking adverts beamed on to the TV screens at half time, with the soundtrack thundering through the stadium PA.

 

[JTG]

palace only got 30,000 last year, Watford the same! I make that 20,000ish corporate tickets. Joke

Yeah, the Div 4 play off final tends to mean that if one team has the potential to take loads (us, Plymouth, Pompey... erm not too sure there's anyone else in this division atm with those numbers) and they're playing someone much smaller (Shrewsbury for us, they brought c10-15,000 I think) then it's pretty much as many tickets as you can sell
Ironically , as we inevitably rise through the divisions to our destiny as European Champions, we'll get given fewer tickets to these occasions. Fair enough if the opponents can sell a lot, not so good if it's just to satisfy the freeloaders

 

[ffsear]

Yea, I went to crewe alexandra v cheltenham (closet cheltenham fan) Crewe had something like 37k. Cheltenham 7k !

 

[JTG]

Cheltenham consistently bring about 300 40 miles down the M5 to their big derby with us (note: it's THEIR big derby, not ours, we couldn't give a toss).

ETA: just checked, crowd for that final was 24,000 so I think you've exaggerated Crewe's following a tad
Gas v Shrews was the biggest crowd ever for a fourth tier play off final - 61,500 or so. So Shrews took around 20k, apologies to them for underestimating them!

 

[hammerntongues]

We've had them for years to my eternal shame:

and we clearly could not even afford to get them matching boots !!

 

[:-D]

and we clearly could not even afford to get them matching boots !!

Never mind matching boots, what about collar & cuffs

Fwoar!!


When was this taken? It looks like the early seventies.

I reckon the happy hammers have missed a trick... I bet if they had these same girls on the sidelines last Saturday, Rooney would put that ball into row z. Lock up your nanna's.

 

[chieftain]

Removing from the shirt and using a clubs longstanding Latin motto in English for marketing purposes. Wheres the mystery or the chance for your Dad to actually use his school education to proudly translate it for you.

Audere Est Facere indeed

 

[:-D]

infirmus, ut psittacus !

 

[editor]

Oh, and all those fucking shitty personal messages that footballers scrawl on their vests to show off when they score. The celebration should be about the club and not your own personal bollocks

 

[Athos]

Non-league.

I haven't watched more than a few minutes of a Premier League match or MOTD for months now. Fuck it.

Yeah, I agree. As a Luton fan, I'm actually going to miss non-league football next year!

 

[deadringer]

What club is that with?

Tottenham.

 

[deadringer]

nope I think he`s a Hammer , i just checked my season ticket and I have a client ref number too .

Spurs. Not unique to us then.

 

[deadringer]

One of my personal gripes at Spurs is the salt beef sandwich stall. £5, which I don't really mind paying as it's pretty tasty and saves me having to have a dodgy burger or hotdog, but they do not butter the bread. Don't even have a fucking tub of marge to spread on the bread first. I mean what the fuck?!
I'm half tempted to buy a job lot of butter sachets and take two down with me every match and make them spread it on the bread. Wankers

 

[JTG]

Tottenham have a salt beef sandwich stall?!

We have pies and pasties. And nothing else, that should be enough

 

[Ponyutd]

and we clearly could not even afford to get them matching boots !!

So of the routines were a little bit on the strong side to say the least. Must have been embarrassing for adults with children.

 

[strung out]

 

[Monkeygrinder's Organ]

Tottenham have a salt beef sandwich stall?!

Traditional Jewish food.

 

[hammerntongues]

do they still do beigels ? I dont think I am imagining it , i am sure at always you could buy salmon beigels ? beats a footyburger

 

[chieftain]

do they still do beigels ? I dont think I am imagining it , i am sure at always you could buy salmon beigels ? beats a footyburger

They used to but I haven't seen one for a few years. I blame Tim Sherwood

 

[:-D]

what do you think they do with all the ones they don't sell?

 

[el-ahrairah]

what do you think they do with all the ones they don't sell?

knit them into blankets for their children?

 

[Dr_Herbz]

Man City and Chelsea

 

[deadringer]

do they still do beigels ? I dont think I am imagining it , i am sure at always you could buy salmon beigels ? beats a footyburger

Not that I've seen, lol. I wish there was a bit more choice, Chinese, Indian and Mexican vans, rather than burger van after burger van.

 

[JTG]

I wondered what Julian Dicks was up to these days

 

[purenarcotic]

One of my personal gripes at Spurs is the salt beef sandwich stall. £5, which I don't really mind paying as it's pretty tasty and saves me having to have a dodgy burger or hotdog, but they do not butter the bread. Don't even have a fucking tub of marge to spread on the bread first. I mean what the fuck?!
I'm half tempted to buy a job lot of butter sachets and take two down with me every match and make them spread it on the bread. Wankers

Assuming it's because of the relationship and history with the Jewish community, traditionally a salt beef sarnie can't have butter because then it's not kosher. Hot salt beef, rye bread and some sliced pickled cucumber is a perfect sandwich that should not be sullied with butter or marg.

I appreciate they aren't flogging it to the kosher clientele but it's the tradition innit. Or something like that.

 

[steeplejack]

goal music rips my knitting.

I was at a cup tie at Easter Road a few years ago- Hibs beasting Montrose 5-1- and after every goal, there'd be some fucking dirge followed by "Ball and Cock Plumbing Sponsored today's SECOND goal by ANtttttoooooynnnnnnnnyyyyyy STOKES!!!!!"

unbelievable.

I hope we can still point and laugh at this drivel in ten years time, but the evidence of "trickle down" is increasing year on year. Even in non league / lower leagues you get player line-ups / handshakes before kick off now (Bromley v Bath City, anyone)?

Oh, and "living the dream" shite a la Gretna where a tiny diddy team is taken over by a sugar daddy and artifically powered up the leagues before collapsing like the south sea bubble when the money / interest runs out. Current best example: Celtic Nation, paying ex-Workington and Scottish First division players £500 a week to play in the Northern league, in front of average crowds of around 450. Lots of flag waving glory hunters turn up and vanish at the first sign of an "insolvency event", and all the overpaid mercenaries disappearing again.

Linked to this, attendant "marketisation" of football at all levels. Non league chairmen talking about "product on the park" magically attracting more than the usual 120 through the gates, as though its a real life game of championship manager (hint: if you've been in the Northern Premier League since the late 60s then that is likely to remain your "product on the park". You are not about to become Manchester United by starting a youth team and buying cast offs from Fleetwood Town).

"Jamie Oliverisation" of the catering. get your bespoke lamb saag pie to fuck, I'll have a mutton pie thanks and a lukewarm bovril. No, I am not paying £10 to a club-aproved franchise after the privatisation of the pie hut, for braised lamb shanks

Steeplejack is Brooks Mileson Professor of Modern Football at the University of Accrington

 

[bacterium]

The one where a non-league club changes all it's players names to greats for the benefit of paddy power:

http://www.whoateallthepies.tv/funn...der-to-field-team-of-legends-next-season.html

betting companies can all fuck off