Make Some Parents Share Their Kids Guilt

[HeatherG]

I’ve only read about various agencies lambasted for not dealing adequately with Axel Rudekabana.

I saw his father stopping him from getting into a taxi en route to the school he was excluded from - The Range.

Why didn’t both of his parents do more about him. It’s all very well blaming multiple agencies for not doing ‘this’ and not doing ‘that’ but they didn’t create him. They didn’t bring him up. Clearly, like too many parents these days, they didn’t teach him ‘right from wrong’.

When they saw how troublesome he was becoming, why didn’t they say ‘enough is enough’, ‘he’s not getting better, he’s getting worse’.

In their shoes, I would have seriously considered packing him off to Rwanda. Ok, he wasn’t born there, they both were, but clearly, they were living in a place where, due to their skin colour, they stood out a mile. Unfortunately, in this country, people don’t like that. They want you to look like them, think, act and behave like them too.

Since his father stopped him from getting into the taxi, he must have known, or guessed what his son intended to do. How closely did they watch him. Didn’t they wonder why he had no friends, why he didn’t do what other young boys of his age did? Why go to Cardiff, instead of a multi-ethnic place like London, in the first place?

No matter how much people want to blame those agencies across the board for failing him, I’m 100% sure that the primary fault lays with his parents. They should have sought help and if they didn’t know where to start, they should have started with their GP.

If only they had done that!

 

[Elpenor]

This will go well

 

[Callie]

Do you think the parents of all those that kill or commit atrocities did not try in their best ability to teach their children right from wrong?

 

[PursuedByBears]

Piss-poor trolling attempt. 0/10.

 

[Callie]

I've now read the rest of the op. Why am I even trying here

 

[tim]

If only you'd fuck off, cunt!

 

[cupid_stunt]

I’ve only read about various agencies lambasted for not dealing adequately with Axel Rudekabana.

I saw his father stopping him from getting into a taxi en route to the school he was excluded from - The Range.

Why didn’t both of his parents do more about him. It’s all very well blaming multiple agencies for not doing ‘this’ and not doing ‘that’ but they didn’t create him. They didn’t bring him up. Clearly, like too many parents these days, they didn’t teach him ‘right from wrong’.

When they saw how troublesome he was becoming, why didn’t they say ‘enough is enough’, ‘he’s not getting better, he’s getting worse’.

In their shoes, I would have seriously considered packing him off to Rwanda. Ok, he wasn’t born there, they both were, but clearly, they were living in a place where, due to their skin colour, they stood out a mile. Unfortunately, in this country, people don’t like that. They want you to look like them, think, act and behave like them too.

Since his father stopped him from getting into the taxi, he must have known, or guessed what his son intended to do. How closely did they watch him. Didn’t they wonder why he had no friends, why he didn’t do what other young boys of his age did? Why go to Cardiff, instead of a multi-ethnic place like London, in the first place?

No matter how much people want to blame those agencies across the board for failing him, I’m 100% sure that the primary fault lays with his parents. They should have sought help and if they didn’t know where to start, they should have started with their GP.

If only they had done that!

Judging by this post, your parents didn't do a very good job with you.

 

[existentialist]

Yes, "if only".

Better get this out of the way, first: I'm not a parent. Not for any particular reason, but that's just how it worked out.

HOWEVER, I think we need to recognise that, in many cases, what we might see as a failure of parenting isn't the result of a deliberate choice by either or both parents. While we might (especially with hindsight) be able to see particular decisions parents made as poor, and leading to the eventual outcome, we have to remember that they are making the decisions they make in the heat of the moment, quite possibly under a lot of pressure, and with all the emotional baggage that comes with the process.

To address one of your points - "teaching right from wrong" - that's one of those things that sounds very simple and straightforward, but in reality (as we all know, from our own experience), working out what "right" or "wrong" IS is a difficult enough problem, even for adults, let alone having to make choices between them.

What you're asking for might well result in parents, fearful of prosecution for the acts of their children, adopting a much more rigid and doctrinaire approach as a risk-averse way of dealing with potential problems their children might cause. A reasonable thing in the circumstances, but almost certainly NOT the best way of raising a child capable of making their own choices in the best way possible. What would, effectively, happen, is that the bulk of children would find their developmental experience diminished in a - quite possibly vain - attempt to stamp out the risk of a tiny minority of children becoming another Axel Rudekabana. I'm not sure I'd be that happy to see that.

Where we could do more is in parenting education, and even that has implications that might be difficult to get over. It's a strange fact of life that we have the ability to become parents without necessarily having learned good skills in order to do the job. Or where we have our own baggage influencing our parenting style that we may not even be aware of.

 

[dessiato]

To draw a parallel to my experience. I was racially abused at school, and in the 3rd was routinely humiliated by my housemaster who would cane me every Friday morning regardless of my behaviour. I rapidly learned to behave exactly as I wished because I'd be punished anyway. I was lucky, much of the abuse stopped after that year.

I'm certain that had it not I'd have gone down a very different, and aggressive, path. If I was going to be punished, I'd make sure I'd done something to deserve it.

No one listened to me, and anyway the racism was my fault because...

I wonder if this isn't what happened to him and started the path to what became this most dreadful crime.

 

[PR1Berske]

I like getting in "early" with new member threads like this

 

[rubbershoes]

On behalf of all Daily Mail readers, I endorse the simplistic attitudes behind this post

 

[a_chap]

Trying to decide whether to put "HeatherG" on ignore now or just wait for the inevitable banning.

 

[maomao]

I love the way his parents sorting him out means packing him off to Rwanda cause it's obviously not a problem if some Rwandan kids get stabbed.

 

[dessiato]

Trying to decide whether to put "HeatherG" on ignore now or just wait for the inevitable banning.

Give her a chance.

How else is she going to get the info for her column/podcast?

 

[A380]

Worst troll op evah.

There’s been a lot of debate across the boards recently about the whys and wherefores of banning artificial intelligence generated posts. Good to be reminded that natural stupidity can still trump it.

 

[Kevbad the Bad]

Personally I blame the grandparents, even the great grandparents.

 

[Kevbad the Bad]

Personally I blame the grandparents, even the great grandparents.

Come to think of it I blame original sin. Would you Adam and Eve it?

 

[nottsgirl]

Wow.

 

[Sweet FA]

I can't decide whether that first post is best described as shitshow or clownshoes.

A poll discussing that would be a way more productive afternoon than pointing out what a fucking dickhead the writer of that post is.

 

[PR1Berske]

Wow.

No they got banned ages ago.

 

[Fozzie Bear]

Why go to Cardiff, instead of a multi-ethnic place like London, in the first place?

Cardiff is “multi-ethnic”. And people should be able to live where they like.

 

[Mation]

Off you fuck, HeatherG

 

[pesh]

Should go for another bike ride.

 

[existentialist]

I can't decide whether that first post is best described as shitshow or clownshoes.

Walking through a shitshow in clownshoes.

 

[Sweet FA]

View attachment 461357

Walking through a shitshow in clownshoes.

Liberal

 

[Elpenor]

The OP has previously posted about having a brain injury

Obviously they make you racist in the way autism or ketamine makes you do Nazi salutes

 

[cupid_stunt]

Cardiff is “multi-ethnic”. And people should be able to live where they like.

Plus, the family were living in the Southport area at the time, so to bring up Cardiff in the OP was bonkers, together with the rest of the racist post.

 

[Rebecca Riot]

Cardiff is “multi-ethnic”. And people should be able to live where they like.

Cardiff has had a large Somali community for as long as anyone can remember.

 

[xenon]

WTF is this shit?

 

[existentialist]

WTF is this shit?

Just a reminder to us that, in our largely happy corner of the internet, we may not see the full majesty of knuckle-dragging thought that is out there.

Because I'm pretty sure the OP isn't trolling, and actually BELIEVES the nonsense they're vomiting here.