I've eaten raw, wild venison. Will I die?

[Fez909]

Bought from a stall at the food festival yesterday. Ate a load when I got back, pissed. It's "dry-cured" and is sliced about as thick as bacon. I just scoffed it thinking it was like parma ham, but then I just looked at the bacon I bought (also "dry cured") and it comes in the same packaging and everything.

I wouldn't dream of eating raw bacon, but I've never seen venison come like this before. Maybe this is meant to be fried like bacon?

Feel like absolute shite today but I initially put that down to the copious amounts of alcohol and overexposure to the sun. Maybe I'm dying?

Give me your best advices & mockery please, good urbans.

 

[trabuquera]

oh deer.
let us know if the velvet starts flaking off yer antlers.

or perhaps it's lyme disease.

(srsly: I think you'll live.)

 

[alsoknownas]

You're probably gonna turn into a venisons or some shit like that. I've read about it.

 

[dessiato]

Keep out of the reindeer .

 

[trabuquera]

ACUTE NECROTISING VENISONITIS

 

[alan_]

yesterday didn't rain deer
I would think that if it were bad, you would know about it by now

 

[dessiato]

I've not herd any bad things about venison. As for jokes, I'm not fawn of them. I'd have to rack my brains for a funny one. Will you die? Not tonight deer.

 

[chilango]

No. I've eaten plenty.

 

[FridgeMagnet]

I can't be arsed thinking of a deer-related pun so I'll just say that you can often eat stuff that's been properly dry-cured without cooking it, e.g. salami and prosciutto are both cured and uncooked.

 

[Sprocket.]

You'll be fine unless a bad hart is the problem!

 

[Cid]

Next time you should think about what you're eating, rather than deciding on the hoof.

 

[chilango]

Raw or rare venison is meant to be an aphrodisiac....

 

[Sprocket.]

£250 for eight legs of venison.
That's too dear!

 

[8den]

Buck up. You're probably roe ver the worst.

 

[maomao]

I've had venison salami before. That's not cooked. It's probably fine.

 

[TheHoodedClaw]

I'd sika doctor's opinion if I were you.

 

[Chilli.s]

Venison biltong is meant to be very good eats. I think you'll be fine.

 

[Artaxerxes]

Check your poo for parasites

 

[baffled]

If you've not given the toilet a good Blitzen by now I'd say you're ok.

 

[pengaleng]

was it tasty doe?

 

[Sprocket.]

If you've not given the toilet a good Blitzen by now I'd say you're ok.

I say that deserves a Donner (kebab)

 

[oryx]

I initially put that down to the copious amounts of alcohol and overexposure to the sun.

Kudu just been this I suppose.

Better buck up your ideas on food safety!

 

[Fez909]

Raw or rare venison is meant to be an aphrodisiac....

Is that true because I've had two wanks today and still got a raging stonk on.

Aphrodisiac status : confirmed!

 

[oryx]

Is that true because I've had two wanks today and still got a raging stonk on.

Aphrodisiac status : confirmed!

 

[chilango]

It's made you horny.

 

[ViolentPanda]

Bought from a stall at the food festival yesterday. Ate a load when I got back, pissed. It's "dry-cured" and is sliced about as thick as bacon. I just scoffed it thinking it was like parma ham, but then I just looked at the bacon I bought (also "dry cured") and it comes in the same packaging and everything.

I wouldn't dream of eating raw bacon, but I've never seen venison come like this before. Maybe this is meant to be fried like bacon?

Feel like absolute shite today but I initially put that down to the copious amounts of alcohol and overexposure to the sun. Maybe I'm dying?

Give me your best advices & mockery please, good urbans.

If it's been dry-cured, then about 95% of its' ability to feed bacteria is dead - salt-and-air cure does that.
Ever eaten biltong or jerky? All that is, is totally dehydrated raw meat, occasionally cold smoke-cured.

You won't die, although if you ate around a hundred grams or more, you might find it hard to have a dump/have some extremely dense turds in your colon!

 

[mrs quoad]

I once tried cooking venison on a piss-poor electric hob for a near-vegetarian I was largely trying to pull.

I bought a potato ricer for the meal.

And new plates.

I realised that things weren't going to happen, when I looked towards her plated potatoes and saw them slowly being infused with pink, from the bottom upwards, thanks to the fuck-off massive cm-deep puddle of uncongealed Bambi blood slopping around her (TTD baby purple shooting) broccoli (stems).

2wks later, she sat me down and told me blah blah blah since the death of my dad blah blah glass wall between me and the world blah blah can't do relationships blah blah friends. And 2 wks later more, she was banging an anaemic blond willowy thing, who I strongly suspect never foisted a plate of dripping blood upon her.

Everyone survived

Thumbs.

 

[19sixtysix]

I ate a venison burger once and was sick as a dog. Never touched it since.

 

[mrs quoad]

I ate a venison burger once and was sick as a dog. Never touched it since.

Traditionally, dogs returneth to their vomit.

 

[Orang Utan]

Fez last weekend: