I'm off to prison soon

[bluescreen]

I know it only too well feral, but don't let an otherwise compassionate post get in the way of getting a dig in at people you have never been able to argue with without resorting to jeering 'pissheids and jakey's'. Funny that, isn't it. Almost like you constructed a veneer of care in order to have a sly dig while enjoying the psuedo-moral highgrounWhd. I mean I would never call someone else a jakey. Thats to call someone a tramp, an addict, a chav. The sort of people who all to often end up in jail. Enjoy your two or three faces dickhead

Whoosh! (over me)
Where did he do that?

 

[DotCommunist]

Whoosh! (over me)
Where did he do that?

meltdown over on another thread. Proper tantrum. CBA to search now, I'm going to watch a film.

 

[bluescreen]

meltdown over on another thread. Proper tantrum. CBA to search now, I'm going to watch a film.

I see. I'm taking these posts as I find them.

 

[DotCommunist]

I see. I'm taking these posts as I find them.

as am I, informed by what I already know. Nobody comes to anything tabula rasa. But anyway, filmage

 

[stuff_it]

Why would you do that?

Max profits as a drug dealer obvs

 

[bluescreen]

stuff_it That's an outrageous allegation. Not funny.

 

[UnderOpenSky]

Max profits as a drug dealer obvs

There was a programme about this on R4 recently. Obviously money being made, but sounded grim. Huge amounts of stress through blackmail. Guards were used as smugglers more then actually dealers. You also know that this what you really really do not want to be sent down doing

 

[Bahnhof Strasse]

There was a programme about this on R4 recently. Obviously money being made, but sounded grim. Huge amounts of stress through blackmail. Guards were used as smugglers more then actually dealers. You also know that this what you really really do not want to be sent down doing

One thing I do know about screws is that if you are bent you'll have the piss ripped out of you by the cons. If you are straight you stand a chance of making someone's life better.

Fuck locking folk up for a job though.

 

[bluescreen]

One thing I do know about screws is that if you are bent you'll have the piss ripped out of you by the cons. If you are straight you stand a chance of making someone's life better.

Fuck locking folk up for a job though.

Dunno, Bahnhof Strasse. Some people really do need locking up. Not most who are in jail, but the violent, perverted, psychopathic predators.

 

[Bahnhof Strasse]

Dunno, Bahnhof Strasse. Some people really do need locking up. Not most who are in jail, but the violent, perverted, psychopathic predators.

Don't get me wrong, some people most certainly need locking up. Some sewers need unblocking by hand too. Just don't fancy doing either myself, ta.

 

[mrs quoad]

the goverment is on a big recuiting surge at the moment as somebodys finally twigged 23 hr a day lock up doesn't work .

Tbf, they've twigged that fair and sustainable followed by benchmarking was a massive fuckup as, to no-one's great surprise, a 41% reduction in officer numbers between 2010-14 (from >24,000 to 14,170) eventually led to mass disorder, regular riots, a complete inability to deliver purposeful activity, and restrictions of basic rights (including exercise and library access). Not helped by a huge upsurge in NPS use, drug smuggling, violence, concerted disorder - and, for the last two years, the highest recorded levels of suicide ever. And compounded by the smoking ban that's just rolling in.

That they're recruiting 3,000 new POs is a small step towards getting back to having a prison system that's just as dysfunctional as it was 7 years back. And if they're selling that as a massive recruitment drive, that's shameful (in the same way that May now pointing to the Tories' current mandate following their recent triumphant election would be shameful. This is a self-inflicted Grayling-shaped wound.)

Heartfelt best of luck with it; it's not the easiest of places right now.

 

[bluescreen]

Don't get me wrong, some people most certainly need locking up. Some sewers need unblocking by hand too. Just don't fancy doing either myself, ta.

Me neither. Respect to those prepared to do it.

 

[likesfish]

yeah well I'm off for a look expecting it to be grim you dont get a starting salary of close to 30k for an easy job.
but at least the poor sods get a bed and food which wasn't always an option in homelessness

 

[bluescreen]

yeah well I'm off for a look expecting it to be grim you dont get a starting salary of close to 30k for an easy job.
but at least the poor sods get a bed and food which wasn't always an option in homelessness

Blimey. You get paid more than a nurse.

 

[Yossarian]

 

[likesfish]

Blimey. You get paid more than a nurse.

people at least want to be nurses though . who wants to hang out with a bunch of screws all day at least the prisoners messed up to end up in jail the screws volunteered

 

[mrs quoad]

yeah well I'm off for a look expecting it to be grim you dont get a starting salary of close to 30k for an easy job.

Clearly not a private sector jail, then!

 

[likesfish]

sarting salary is £29,688 for a 41 hour week (includes additional allowance) + excellent benefits
you will also receive a number of other benefits, including 25 days’ holiday allowance each year, childcare vouchers, season ticket loans, retail discounts, Employee Assistance Programme and Cycle to Work scheme.

 

[Bahnhof Strasse]

Medical insurance might be a useful perk.

 

[bluescreen]

I hope you get the job likesfish, if that's what you really want.

 

[Spymaster]

... Cycle to Work scheme.

Fuck it off.

 

[Yossarian]

£29,688 plus 25 days holiday. Sweet. And all you have to give them in return is your soul.

 

[Spymaster]

And all you have to give them in return is your soul.

Can't he just look after prisoners instead?

 

[Yossarian]

Can't he just look after prisoners instead?

I doubt you'd be able to find many prison guards who'd claim the job hasn't changed them.

 

[Spymaster]

I doubt you'd be able to find many prison guards who'd claim the job hasn't changed them.

Hopefully not always for the worst. It'll probably change Fish too. They might even teach him to punctuate.

Good for you likesfish

 

[planetgeli]

Cycle to Work scheme.

Fuck it off.

Of all the things about being a Screw, this is, of course, the worst.

 

[Buckaroo]

They might even teach him to punctuate.
likesfish

Or even spell in a sentence.

 

[likesfish]

intellegence nazis strike again with their grammar and long words and sense

 

[Buckaroo]

intellegence nazis strike again with their grammar and long words and sense

Intelligents bastards.

 

[Yossarian]

Hope I don't sound too mean-spirited - likesfish doesn't seem like a bad sort, I'd rather be wishing him luck in a job that doesn't have a far higher divorce, PTSD, and suicide rate than war veterans, let alone the general public.