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I have decided to answer the call of Jihad

friedaweed

friedaweed

Me and me girl named Jane
With Scottish Independence devilishly close now I have decided to acknowledge my ancestry and join the struggle. I will be heading to Falkirk Scottish Jihadist Training Camp (Travelodge on the High Street) on Friday night where I hope to be radicalized by imbibing ten pints of 80' and sleeping on a belly full of deep fried food by 11pm. Can someone recommend a decent pub and chippy in Falky where my scouseness wont get me glassed by the local Begbie?

After my initial training I have secured a safe house to carry out my further skirmishes from the Highland village of Garve just outside Strathpeffer. I shall be in combat mode for 7 days (Until my cottage booking expires). I will then be slipping back into Babylon via Berwik Upon Tweed (Travelodge room £45) and cleaning my passport on Sunday next week.

Can any local Highland Mujaheddin advise me on any good skirmishes worthy of my undertaking. I have an 8' spinning rod and a guillie kettle and lots of cash to pump into this Holy War. I am very much interested in places of historic interest and stone circles and hippy shit like that.

Your recommendations of places to score rations and good photographs to send back to the Kafir to immortalize my Jihad would be very much appreciated.



* FAO The British Secret Services. I is just going on holiday really and do not require a rubber glove experience on return to Cheshire.
 
I recommend the Wheatsheaf Inn just off the high street. A friendly old man pub with real ale etc.

I suppose you could head down to the Kelpies or the Falkirk Wheel for a good selfie.

No stone circles nearby that I'm aware of but you could head to Cairnpapple Hill which is an ancient ceremonial burial ground and good for hippy dancing etc. (I spent the Millenium there) or you could walk a stretch of the Antonine wall.
 
friedaweed said:
With Scottish Independence devilishly close now I have decided to acknowledge my ancestry and join the struggle. I will be heading to Falkirk Scottish Jihadist Training Camp (Travelodge on the High Street) on Friday night where I hope to be radicalized by imbibing ten pints of 80' and sleeping on a belly full of deep fried food by 11pm. Can someone recommend a decent pub and chippy in Falky where my scouseness wont get me glassed by the local Begbie?

After my initial training I have secured a safe house to carry out my further skirmishes from the Highland village of Garve just outside Strathpeffer. I shall be in combat mode for 7 days (Until my cottage booking expires). I will then be slipping back into Babylon via Berwik Upon Tweed (Travelodge room £45) and cleaning my passport on Sunday next week.

Can any local Highland Mujaheddin advise me on any good skirmishes worthy of my undertaking. I have an 8' spinning rod and a guillie kettle and lots of cash to pump into this Holy War. I am very much interested in places of historic interest and stone circles and hippy shit like that.

Your recommendations of places to score rations and good photographs to send back to the Kafir to immortalize my Jihad would be very much appreciated.



* FAO The British Secret Services. I is just going on holiday really and do not require a rubber glove experience on return to Cheshire.
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I used to like in Falkirk in the 80s, but the pubs and chippies I knew then are much changed, and many have gone.

Recommendation 1, though. Don't say "Falky". People will think you're taking the piss. Locals call it Fawkirk (which is probably correct; the "L" may have been inserted by an over-zealous Anglophile cartographer. Faw Kirk means speckled church, Fal Kirk doesn't mean anything).

Behind the Wall used to be OK, but more of a food place than a pub, although it does have a good selection of real ale. Agree with Seamus that Wheatsheaf is good.

Balfours is the best chippie, off Grangemouth Road, opposite the college. Bit out of the way, though.
 
Had to deal with something there. Back now.

A band I used to play with used to play Strathpeffer, where we went down well. However, our singer somehow managed to gravely insult the entire local shinty team and all of their most burly relatives. It got a bit heated and we were never able to go back. So, my advice is don't insult the local shinty team and all of their most burly relatives.
 
heinous seamus said:
I recommend the Wheatsheaf Inn just off the high street. A friendly old man pub with real ale etc.

I suppose you could head down to the Kelpies or the Falkirk Wheel for a good selfie.

No stone circles nearby that I'm aware of but you could head to Cairnpapple Hill which is an ancient ceremonial burial ground and good for hippy dancing etc. (I spent the Millenium there) or you could walk a stretch of the Antonine wall.
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danny la rouge said:
I used to like in Falkirk in the 80s, but the pubs and chippies I knew then are much changed, and many have gone.

Recommendation 1, though. Don't say "Falky". People will think you're taking the piss. Locals call it Fawkirk (which is probably correct; the "L" may have been inserted by an over-zealous Anglophile cartographer. Faw Kirk means speckled church, Fal Kirk doesn't mean anything).

Behind the Wall used to be OK, but more of a food place than a pub, although it does have a good selection of real ale. Agree with Seamus that Wheatsheaf is good.

Balfours is the best chippie, off Grangemouth Road, opposite the college. Bit out of the way, though.
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danny la rouge said:
Had to deal with something there. Back now.

A band I used to play with used to play Strathpeffer, where we went down well. However, our singer somehow managed to gravely insult the entire local shinty team and all of their most burly relatives. It got a bit heated and we were never able to go back. So, my advice is don't insult the local shinty team and all of their most burly relatives.
Click to expand...


Thank you gentlemen for your ahem (clears throat, deep voice) Faw-kirk recommendations. I think I may search out the Wheatsheath seen as it shares it's name with my own local rubberdub here.

I shall be very careful what I say when in the company of the Shinty team. I shot my mouth off like that once and ended up on the pitch the following morning with a mahoosive hangover and a pair of boots two sizes too small. It would of been so much easier if they'd just beaten the shit out of me the night before for saying it was like hockey:facepalm::D


Any inside info on Invergordon?
 
I have been planning some of my excursions this afternoon whilst looking after a sick Finn Larden. Reckon I'll finally make the effort to go and see Rosal and I'm looking forward to having a climb up and down Whaligoe Steps. I've never stayed on the east side of the highlands.

Still probably end up driving all the way across to Arisaig for a day on the beach :cool: It's my fav place in all the world.

Taking her ladyship who has never been North of Wigan :D
 
Post from my partner:
Your best bet is to forget Falkirk for any jihab training exercise, my advice to you Son is to get yersel to T in The Park (not).
Now you mention 80 Shillin, but for another overpriced beverage and a horrendous hangover, you're well placed to join the festival NEDs in a soiree of Tennent lager swilling activity and standing in the mud whilst watching cutural Scottish bands and observing the local culture and dialect.
Now I mention "standing" in the mud because the bringing of ones own chair is prohibited since the said NEDs (non educated d...) folk took to battering each other should a derogatory comment be made on a particular bands performance or the state of one's girfriends attaire. I spent 12 years as a festival devotee but somehow lost the love..
Could you not bring yourself to slurp a plastic beaker of Tennents lager, there is always said volume of a form of fermented apple juice with an adequate alcohol volume.
In truth, my advice to you is to venture further north and behold the wild beauty of the Scottish Highlands and Islands.
Whether the Scots should decide to go it alone or stay in the union, nothing can take away the honesty and absolutely stunning countryside and varity of pleasures that Scotland and the Scottish can provide. Glen Coe, Inverness and Malaig.
Enjoy!!
 
Chilli.s said:
Post from my partner:
Your best bet is to forget Falkirk for any jihab training exercise, my advice to you Son is to get yersel to T in The Park (not).
snip...
In truth, my advice to you is to venture further north and behold the wild beauty of the Scottish Highlands and Islands.
Whether the Scots should decide to go it alone or stay in the union, nothing can take away the honesty and absolutely stunning countryside and varity of pleasures that Scotland and the Scottish can provide. Glen Coe, Inverness and Malaig.
Enjoy!!
Click to expand...

I've done T actually and rather enjoyed it but alas I am past all that now and prefer the tranquility you go on to further entice me with. I've been a visitor to these hills and glens for many years but this particular area has always been off my radar. That being the eastern highlands.

Falkirk is purely a cheap travelodge journey splitter plus I've never been there either. Being the son of a weegie I am rather fond of the cultural experience one can only find over a scotch egg, shite pint and a dam good ear bashing about what's wrong with England that you can only get from townsfolk. ;)

I am rather excited about all this as for the first time I shall be visiting the highlands accompanied by a travelling companion that I am in love with rather than anticipating several nights in a sweaty bothy with 5 fat blokes and a load of beans and sausages bagging Monro's. This time I am going 5 star in wee cottage and I've just treated her and myself to one of those vibrating cock rings.

:cool:
 
Passion.jpg
 
Let me think about standing stones/cairns etc. Oh, you HAVE to go to the Black Isle while you're up there. There's this in Strathpeffer and there are some Pictish stones in the vicinity.
http://www.highlandmuseumofchildhood.org.uk/
http://www.explore-sutherland-and-ross.co.uk/pictish-trail-easter-ross.shtml

If you're happy enough to drive around a bit there are Brochs to visit
http://www.brochs.co.uk/photogallery.php

Also this may be worth perusing, it seems to be slow on my pc, not sure if it's the site or my pc.
http://www.megalithic.co.uk/search.php?country=3&county=75&type=stories

I suspect pogofish will have more up to date info than me as I've not been that far north for ages.
And Falkirk, never been back after experiencing the bloody one way system over 20 yrs ago :D It may well have improved in the intervening years :D

And if you like whisky there are a good few distilleries up there iirc. Glenmorangie being the only one we went to(friend is a fan, I think it's horrid)
If you like mead Moniack Mead is made in the local area, but the castle isn't open anymore(just checked) :(
 
geminisnake said:
Let me think about standing stones/cairns etc. Oh, you HAVE to go to the Black Isle while you're up there. There's this in Strathpeffer and there are some Pictish stones in the vicinity.
http://www.highlandmuseumofchildhood.org.uk/
http://www.explore-sutherland-and-ross.co.uk/pictish-trail-easter-ross.shtml

If you're happy enough to drive around a bit there are Brochs to visit
http://www.brochs.co.uk/photogallery.php

Also this may be worth perusing, it seems to be slow on my pc, not sure if it's the site or my pc.
http://www.megalithic.co.uk/search.php?country=3&county=75&type=stories

I suspect pogofish will have more up to date info than me as I've not been that far north for ages.
And Falkirk, never been back after experiencing the bloody one way system over 20 yrs ago :D It may well have improved in the intervening years :D

And if you like whisky there are a good few distilleries up there iirc. Glenmorangie being the only one we went to(friend is a fan, I think it's horrid)
If you like mead Moniack Mead is made in the local area, but the castle isn't open anymore(just checked) :(
Click to expand...
Brilliant:cool: I'm very keen on visiting some Brochs :cool:

Thank you:thumbs:
 
Don't forget that Culloden is just near Inverness. There's a very nice visitor centre.

And keep it to 6-8 pints: at 10 pints you'll fail a breathalyser test in the morning.

According to the Scottish Midge Forecast you're heading towards midge level 3 & 4 territory in Arisaig, so do stock up on repellent.

If you come back by the east coast, try stopping in Newburgh to watch the seals. Park just below the golf course.

DotCommunist said:
Thats basically last orders anywhere in the whole british isles on a Saturday night.
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Up here we are sufficiently civilised to allow 24 hour opening.
 
Quartz said:
Don't forget that Culloden is just near Inverness. There's a very nice visitor centre.

And keep it to 6-8 pints: at 10 pints you'll fail a breathalyser test in the morning.

According to the Scottish Midge Forecast you're heading towards midge level 3 & 4 territory in Arisaig, so do stock up on repellent.

If you come back by the east coast, try stopping in Newburgh to watch the seals. Park just below the golf course.



Up here we are sufficiently civilised to allow 24 hour opening.
Click to expand...

Could I visit there from Falkirk on the way north to Dingwall?
 
friedaweed said:
Could I visit there from Falkirk on the way north to Dingwall?
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Newburgh is just to the north of Aberdeen, slightly out of your way and is a fine lunch-time stop. (I'm assuming you'll be going up the East Coast and back down the West.) The Udny Arms did a good meal the last time I ate there. There's something I find very peaceful about sitting on the south shore watching the seals.
 
Quartz said:
Newburgh is just to the north of Aberdeen, slightly out of your way and is a fine lunch-time stop. (I'm assuming you'll be going up the East Coast and back down the West.) The Udny Arms did a good meal the last time I ate there. There's something I find very peaceful about sitting on the south shore watching the seals.
Click to expand...
Right you're on :cool:

Its on the list. I'm actually coming back via Berwick so could do it then ;)
 
Right you, just how close to Dundee are you likely to get? And remember the A9 is shite!! And not even dual for loads of it!
 
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