How to deal with expectation to take retail/hospitality work laundry home to wash...

[ElizabethofYork]

Sorry to hear you're struggling, AnnO'Neemus. It sounds like quite a full-on job. Definitely do only what you're paid for and nothing else - and only the hours you're paid for.

 

[equationgirl]

I know you take the initiative a lot AnnO'Neemus which is good but seeing as though boss sounds like it won't matter how much extra hou do, he will still find something you haven't done, can you take a step back and focus on doing your tasks (and only your tasks) for a bit?

Because it really sounds like he will keep taking everything you give without even a thank you, and the more you give the more exhausted you will feel.

 

[equationgirl]

Did you get any answers or clarity on this issue of doing their laundry AnnO'Neemus ?

 

[redsquirrel]

I know that traditionally this type of employment has had very low union density but there have been some recent moves by base unions to try and organise.
Not sure where you are based AnnO'Neemus but might want to check out IWW, IWGB, etc. For examples, from memory the IWW down Bristol way have been active.

 

[InArduisFouette]

As an example, there are two large hair stylists/salons on my street. Both have someone pick up the previous week's laundry (gowns and towels and one assumes aprons) early each week and drop off the clean laundry at the same time. It's a usual business expense.

that said a hair salon generates a fair bit of laundry

 

[AnnO'Neemus]

I know you take the initiative a lot AnnO'Neemus which is good but seeing as though boss sounds like it won't matter how much extra hou do, he will still find something you haven't done, can you take a step back and focus on doing your tasks (and only your tasks) for a bit?

Because it really sounds like he will keep taking everything you give without even a thank you, and the more you give the more exhausted you will feel.

Yes, this is definitely a scenario of 'if I give an inch he will take a mile'. I've already said to him that I'm getting the feeling that it doesn't matter how much I do, it's never going to be enough.

 

[wemakeyousoundb]

I hope you left the laundry behind.

 

[AnnO'Neemus]

Did you get any answers or clarity on this issue of doing their laundry AnnO'Neemus ?

He replied saying that my apron is mine and I can wash it and the rest is for him. And I'm thinking that brings me into 'uniform' and tax allowance territory? Although the part-timers don't take their apron/uniform home to wash.

The first weekend, I just took the laundry home because the owner was away, I'd only worked there for two days before being left in charge for a long weekend (!) and so I felt like I was doing him a favour, (I was getting the feeling he was in burn-out after launching the business in December) but then the next week, he was supposed to come in but didn't, ditto the week after, so I asked the other staff what happens to the laundry and they told me that the previous assistant manager used to take the towels etc home with her to wash.

They also told me that the previous assistant manager used to come in an hour earlier on Fridays to do food prep for the weekend. Nah. That's not happening. If I'm not rota'd on and not paid, it's not happening.

 

[AnnO'Neemus]

I hope you left the laundry behind.

Yes! Although I brought home my apron.

And I sent him a WhatsApp message updating him about a few things from today and also mentioned that there won't be any clean towels or aprons on Tuesday.

We'll see what happens.

He hasn't been in Saturday or Sunday, but will be in Tuesday, so maybe he'll take them home Tuesday night and bring them in freshly laundered Wednesday? Or maybe he'll pop in tomorrow and do it?

 

[equationgirl]

Yes! Although I brought home my apron.

And I sent him a WhatsApp message updating him about a few things from today and also mentioned that there won't be any clean towels or aprons on Tuesday.

We'll see what happens.

He hasn't been in Saturday or Sunday, but will be in Tuesday, so maybe he'll take them home Tuesday night and bring them in freshly laundered Wednesday? Or maybe he'll pop in tomorrow and do it?

That's all his to sort out though. You reminded him about the laundry, which was good of you. Now drop the issue.

It doesn't matter if he's burnt out, it's his business and the laundry is his problem to sort out. If there are no clean laundry items on Tuesday you can gently suggest he gets a second set of everything so the business has a clean set on hand, but if he chooses not to buy a second set that's his choice.

I know you're a people pleaser and like many women have been conditioned to do the emotional labour for men (like the worrying about the laundry) but I am telling you you can stop. It's not your job to worry about or do the dirty laundry from this business. Or the food prep. Or any other task not in your job description. Wait to be asked to do more.

If he doesn't directly and politely ask you to do something, ignore the task.

 

[equationgirl]

How's everything going AnnO'Neemus ?

 

[AnnO'Neemus]

How's everything going AnnO'Neemus ?

Still exhausting. All the more so, because the boss has gone on holiday. Again. He went away for a weekend after I'd only been working there for two days. Now he's gone away for a week's holiday. Undoubtedly, he really needed this holiday. Then again, after only five weeks in the job, I'm shattered and in need of a holiday.

A friend of his who works in the food and drinks industry has come to stay at his place and help out in the business while he's away. The friend is clearly very experienced, an expert in the sector, I don't think he means to be hypercritical, but he keeps saying things like 'You need to do X' and 'Y should be done differently' '[Boss] needs to do xyz'. Blah blah blah. A long list of things that either aren't being done right or need to be improved.

I keep telling the friend that I'm aware of so many things that are being done wrong and/or need to be improved, but I just don't have time to do any managing or organising when eg I spent two hours washing and polishing glassware on Saturday and washing dishes, because we needed them. One staff member usually goes on her break at around 4-4.30pm, but on this particular day, I'm guessing she clocked the total shitshow/backlog of washing to be done, and chose to go on her break at 2pm instead, leaving me to deal with it all. Don't blame her, really.

The industry expert friend reckons that we're understaffed by two staff during the week and by three staff at the weekend. So my boss basically wants this side of the business to take care of itself, so he can focus on the wholesale side of things, but isn't providing the staffing resources to facilitate that.

So far, I've heard that the previous assistant manager used to come in an hour early to do some food prep, once or twice a week, that she used to take the tea towels and aprons home to launder, and also that she wanted to get off by 8pm at night, which apparently didn't go down very well. I think I'm coming to understand why there was friction between her and the owner. The little bits that I'm learning, I'm thinking it was perhaps because she was resisting the 'mission creep' aspects of the job, the longer working hours than advertised, the expectation that we would turn a blind eye to the tweaks to the rota as the boss tries to ensure that our working hours don't exceed 40 hours a week, when in reality if we're opening and closing five days a week, that's already more than 40 hours, even before we have any late nights where we're busy and it takes longer than usual for people to drink up and for us to clear up and clean up. Tbh, I'm finding it a big sneaky and insulting, like how stupid does he think I am, does he think I can't add up, can't do basic sums, and I'm not going to notice? This weeks rota, again, has me finishing at 8pm, yet another staff is scheduled on shift till 8.30pm. So that means I've likely got to work till 8.30pm, because the other person isn't a keyholder and doesn't cash-up and lock-up, I do. Just like when I found out that I was scheduled to finish at 5.30pm on a Sunday, but other (part-time staff) were scheduled to work till 6pm.

I sent him a message before he went away, asking him if we could have a confidential conversation - I want to tell him that two of the clauses in my contract that he recently sent me, five weeks after starting the job, are unacceptable. One clause basically says that I am expected to work additional hours subject to the needs of the business (with no mention of overtime pay or time off in lieu). I'm happy to be asked if I am willing and able to work longer hours, but expecting me to? Nope. Although I have been. In the short term, since I started, especially while he's been away. But it's not something I'm prepared to do in the longer term. And another clause is sort of the opposite, basically saying that he can cut my hours, subject to the needs of the business, so having the effect of turning my salaried 40-hours-a-week staff contract to a zero hours contract.

He tried to ask me while I was washing pots as we were clearing up at the end of the day. Another day, he brought his son to the premises in the morning. And then the last time, we just went outside, so we were standing outside the neighbouring business, which was a bit awkward. I ended up discussing other issues about staffing and supplies while he's on holiday, like I didn't even have access to the rota in advance, I could only see who else was working on the day I was working, I couldn't see the info because he hadn't given me access right to view. And just the general lack of communication, and the lack of resources.

I'm feeling it's a bit disrespectful that I've effectively asked for a serious conversation, to go somewhere else and talk privately, but he's expecting me to have these discussions over the kitchen sink or standing in the street. And I think that's part of a broader issue, in terms of how can I expect the staff to respect me when the boss clearly doesn't, if he doesn't give me the staff or the information or resources to do the job?

 

[Thora]

Just like when I found out that I was scheduled to finish at 5.30pm on a Sunday, but other (part-time staff) were scheduled to work till 6pm.
In these situations I'd bat it back to the boss - text him 'I'm leaving at 5.30 but Janet is on til 6 so I'll leave the key with her'.

 

[Winot]

Look for a new job asap.