First Official Portrait of Kate Middleton

[lazythursday]

Thinking through the various possibilities, I think there's one clear winner.

a) Genuine surgery / recovery - perhaps including something embarrassing like a colostomy bag - possible, but I think unlikely because the amazing PR they could have milked out of this 'Brave Kate' etc - I think they would have given a few more details and a brief public appearance if this was going on.

b) Genuine surgery/ recovery - affecting appearance dramatically, eg steroid bloat. Much more likely, and explains cutting and pasting face on picture - but I still think the positive PR would have outweighed damage to glamorous image from temporarily looking awful.

c) Big split with William / tensions / not wanting to do public duties etc - I don't think you'd go completely AWOL in these circumstances. You'd be keen to manage your image in the press so that the public are on your side.

d) Attacked by our glorious heir, in coma / dead. Don't buy the releasing of the fake photo. How on earth are you going to explain the death at a later date, or her looking awful when she recovers? Doesn't make sense.

e) Plastic surgery, including to the face. Explains total lack of public appearance and the fake photo.

 

[two sheds]

f) replaced by alien double. Also explains total lack of public appearance and the fake photo.

 

[danny la rouge]

Thinking through the various possibilities, I think there's one clear winner.

a) Genuine surgery / recovery - perhaps including something embarrassing like a colostomy bag - possible, but I think unlikely because the amazing PR they could have milked out of this 'Brave Kate' etc - I think they would have given a few more details and a brief public appearance if this was going on.

b) Genuine surgery/ recovery - affecting appearance dramatically, eg steroid bloat. Much more likely, and explains cutting and pasting face on picture - but I still think the positive PR would have outweighed damage to glamorous image from temporarily looking awful.

c) Big split with William / tensions / not wanting to do public duties etc - I don't think you'd go completely AWOL in these circumstances. You'd be keen to manage your image in the press so that the public are on your side.

d) Attacked by our glorious heir, in coma / dead. Don't buy the releasing of the fake photo. How on earth are you going to explain the death at a later date, or her looking awful when she recovers? Doesn't make sense.

e) Plastic surgery, including to the face. Explains total lack of public appearance and the fake photo.

A + C, probably.

 

[Monkeygrinder's Organ]

f) replaced by alien double. Also explains total lack of public appearance and the fake photo.

Hang on, what's even the point of an alien double if it's not going to do the PR rounds?

 

[bcuster]

It has been days and no sign of her.
d) or e)...

 

[Storm Fox]

Hang on, what's even the point of an alien double if it's not going to do the PR rounds?

Oh, that's easy. The Alpha-Centuri branch of SAG-AFTRA is on strike as the members have to deal with such shitty conditions.

 

[Kaka Tim]

hundreds of comments on the Spectator Fb page (AKA "gammon chat") all saying its a total non-story, media shit stirring, leave her alone etc etc . The unanamity of opion and its ferocicuiosness is instresting in itself - suggesting some deep insecurity methinks.

 

[Voley]

My favourite theory is that Kate's in isolation because she's on The Masked Singer.

I think we read the same crap on Twitter Saffy

Toaster fire theory is my current fav.

 

[Aladdin]

Adding to lazythursday list.

K injured in physical attack on 28th Dec. Serious damage done. Ambulance called. Gyno op./ hysterectomy required. K in coma. Attacked by jealous w because she had a thing with recently deceased person ...who shot self in back of the head and tossed the gun across the stable floor ....W having partied with him night before he died.

Chucky looking at abdication due to his illness...thus... allowing W to speedily move to throne..once on throne W can avoid any / all prosecution.

 

[T & P]

For those not familiar with Mr Goma

Guy Goma BBC interview - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org

 

[PR1Berske]

Adding to lazythursday list.

K injured in physical attack on 28th Dec. Serious damage done. Ambulance called. Gyno op./ hysterectomy required. K in coma. Attacked by jealous w because she had a thing with recently deceased person ...who shot self in back of the head and tossed the gun across the stable floor ....W having partied with him night before he died.

Chucky looking at abdication due to his illness...thus... allowing W to speedily move to throne..once on throne W can avoid any / all prosecution.

They often say there's a lot of truth hidden in jest.

 

[bluescreen]

They often say there's a lot of truth hidden in jest.

I wouldn't be surprised if the likely speedier than anticipated succession is making her think very hard about the future.

 

[Mumbles274]

Having bloodied and damaged knuckles would be a good reason to cancel that thing he pulled out of

 

[lazythursday]

Adding to lazythursday list.

K injured in physical attack on 28th Dec. Serious damage done. Ambulance called. Gyno op./ hysterectomy required. K in coma. Attacked by jealous w because she had a thing with recently deceased person ...who shot self in back of the head and tossed the gun across the stable floor ....W having partied with him night before he died.

Chucky looking at abdication due to his illness...thus... allowing W to speedily move to throne..once on throne W can avoid any / all prosecution.

While this scenario would be wonderful for the future of the monarchy, I think the fake photo effectively rules it out. There's no way you would risk faking a photo of someone in a coma who may recover and go to the police/press. And if she was already dead, well, it would have made most sense to announce she'd died in surgery months ago.

 

[Kaka Tim]

While this scenario would be wonderful for the future of the monarchy, I think the fake photo effectively rules it out. There's no way you would risk faking a photo of someone in a coma who may recover and go to the police/press. And if she was already dead, well, it would have made most sense to announce she'd died in surgery months ago.

Well that's assuming the royal pr people know what they're doing.

 

[Glitter]

I mean the coma rumours might be true. It doesn’t have to be sinister, it might just be that whatever surgery she had went badly wrong.

If Chuck‘s prognosis is much more severe than they’re saying that’s pretty destabilising. Coma queen wouldn’t go down we with them, I expect.

Whatever it is though, their PR is terrible.

 

[lazythursday]

I mean the coma rumours might be true. It doesn’t have to be sinister, it might just be that whatever surgery she had went badly wrong.

If Chuck‘s prognosis is much more severe than they’re saying that’s pretty destabilising. Coma queen wouldn’t go down we with them, I expect.

Whatever it is though, their PR is terrible.

No I think coma Queen would work really well for them. Poor brave William, taking on the burden of the crown at such a difficult time. Luckily he has the whole country behind him! etc etc

 

[Bahnhof Strasse]

Thinking through the various possibilities, I think there's one clear winner.

a) Genuine surgery / recovery - perhaps including something embarrassing like a colostomy bag - possible, but I think unlikely because the amazing PR they could have milked out of this 'Brave Kate' etc - I think they would have given a few more details and a brief public appearance if this was going on.

b) Genuine surgery/ recovery - affecting appearance dramatically, eg steroid bloat. Much more likely, and explains cutting and pasting face on picture - but I still think the positive PR would have outweighed damage to glamorous image from temporarily looking awful.

c) Big split with William / tensions / not wanting to do public duties etc - I don't think you'd go completely AWOL in these circumstances. You'd be keen to manage your image in the press so that the public are on your side.

d) Attacked by our glorious heir, in coma / dead. Don't buy the releasing of the fake photo. How on earth are you going to explain the death at a later date, or her looking awful when she recovers? Doesn't make sense.

e) Plastic surgery, including to the face. Explains total lack of public appearance and the fake photo.

F) By all accounts Adelaide Cottage is festooned with Steve's strap-ons of various sizes, used and discarded all over the place, he's a slob and Tiggy's no longer there to clear up after him; one recently used extra large one, still with lube on from Rose's latest exertions was in the lounge and Kate was fixing the curtains in the nude, slipped and well, had to have major surgery. Could've happened to anyone.

 

[MickiQ]

View attachment 415779
I've got some suspicions about this one.

Nah looks legit to me

 

[Aladdin]

No I think coma Queen would work really well for them. Poor brave William, taking on the burden of the crown at such a difficult time. Luckily he has the whole country behind him! etc etc

Yes...and he might need someone by his side as queen, say in about 3 years...allowing Hanbury to get herself into the public eye as his consort. ..and it will all be hunky dory as the kiddies all get along.
Meantime the Middletons get demonised and Kate disappears into a posho private nursing home or dies and gets a quiet funeral.

It definitely makes for a better novel.

 

[MickiQ]

If there had been a camera on the Moon filming the LEM landing, then that would be evidence that someone was already there. Who was that person? Was it Jeremy Corbyn or Prince Charles? If you were there, phone this number.

You don't think the lizard people actually evolved on Earth surely?

 

[moochedit]

Thinking through the various possibilities, I think there's one clear winner.

a) Genuine surgery / recovery - perhaps including something embarrassing like a colostomy bag - possible, but I think unlikely because the amazing PR they could have milked out of this 'Brave Kate' etc - I think they would have given a few more details and a brief public appearance if this was going on.

b) Genuine surgery/ recovery - affecting appearance dramatically, eg steroid bloat. Much more likely, and explains cutting and pasting face on picture - but I still think the positive PR would have outweighed damage to glamorous image from temporarily looking awful.

c) Big split with William / tensions / not wanting to do public duties etc - I don't think you'd go completely AWOL in these circumstances. You'd be keen to manage your image in the press so that the public are on your side.

d) Attacked by our glorious heir, in coma / dead. Don't buy the releasing of the fake photo. How on earth are you going to explain the death at a later date, or her looking awful when she recovers? Doesn't make sense.

e) Plastic surgery, including to the face. Explains total lack of public appearance and the fake photo.

You forgot alien abduction with cia coverup

 

[Aladdin]

Final theory.

Chucky Kate and grandkids all in hiding in a secure location that has a nuclear bunker.
Wills has to keep the show on the road so the British public dont suspect anything.

 

[ska invita]

hundreds of comments on the Spectator Fb page (AKA "gammon chat") all saying its a total non-story, media shit stirring, leave her alone etc etc . The unanamity of opion and its ferocicuiosness is instresting in itself - suggesting some deep insecurity methinks.

photoshoping a sleeve on a photo IS a nonstory and if you're not paying attention thats what it seems on the surface, but its the deeper stuff about Where is Kate, How real is the photo, did they put out a fake message saying Kate did it etc, thats the story

 

[Idris2002]

Adding to lazythursday list.

K injured in physical attack on 28th Dec. Serious damage done. Ambulance called. Gyno op./ hysterectomy required. K in coma. Attacked by jealous w because she had a thing with recently deceased person ...who shot self in back of the head and tossed the gun across the stable floor ....W having partied with him night before he died.

Chucky looking at abdication due to his illness...thus... allowing W to speedily move to throne..once on throne W can avoid any / all prosecution.

This is the family who had one of their monarchs euthanised on his deathbed, because he wasn't dying fast enough to make the morning papers.

 

[moochedit]

hundreds of comments on the Spectator Fb page (AKA "gammon chat") all saying its a total non-story, media shit stirring, leave her alone etc etc . The unanamity of opion and its ferocicuiosness is instresting in itself - suggesting some deep insecurity methinks.

Yeah. I've seen loads of comments like that on fb newspaper pages and also a lot of "it's a really lovely photo. I don't understand what's wrong with it" and "everybody filters their photos" comments.

 

[lazythursday]

quite a good article comparing it all to the Princes in the Tower

Royal absurdities and evil uncles

This week: why is Kate Middleton like the Princes in the Tower? (No, not that.) Also what’s the deal with the Channel Islands? And a map of Tory failure in Birmingham.

jonn.substack.com

 

[danny la rouge]

Yeah. I've seen loads of comments like that on fb newspaper pages and also a lot of "it's a really lovely photo. I don't understand what's wrong with it" and "everybody filters their photos" comments.

 

[Aladdin]

Ides of March this Friday.

Just saying.

 

[ElizabethofYork]

Thinking through the various possibilities, I think there's one clear winner.

a) Genuine surgery / recovery - perhaps including something embarrassing like a colostomy bag - possible, but I think unlikely because the amazing PR they could have milked out of this 'Brave Kate' etc - I think they would have given a few more details and a brief public appearance if this was going on.

b) Genuine surgery/ recovery - affecting appearance dramatically, eg steroid bloat. Much more likely, and explains cutting and pasting face on picture - but I still think the positive PR would have outweighed damage to glamorous image from temporarily looking awful.

c) Big split with William / tensions / not wanting to do public duties etc - I don't think you'd go completely AWOL in these circumstances. You'd be keen to manage your image in the press so that the public are on your side.

d) Attacked by our glorious heir, in coma / dead. Don't buy the releasing of the fake photo. How on earth are you going to explain the death at a later date, or her looking awful when she recovers? Doesn't make sense.

e) Plastic surgery, including to the face. Explains total lack of public appearance and the fake photo.

I've got one.
She's had abdominal surgery and is taking her time to rest and recover.
Controversial, I know.