Excuses for being late

[Orang Utan]

I’ve run out so am experimenting with total honesty.
I think ‘because it’s January’ is an acceptable excuse for being late for work. ‘Because it’s January’ and ‘because of who I am as a person’ are perfectly reasonable reasons IMO
Also acceptable: ‘because I didn’t want to get out of bed’
I’m getting inga bit tired of feeling obliged to make up a different excuse sometimes I’m late and endeavour to be honest from now on. I once had to invent a ‘bad traffic’ story cos I’d been distracted by the entrancing sight of a massive mushroom in the woods.
No more!

However, I’d be interested in reading excuses you’ve heard or made up for being late as well as suggestions for reasonable excuses should my honesty policy backfire on me.

 

[Epona]

They know about the ADHD? If they don't make allowances for you struggling to be somewhere at a particular time then that's not really on IMO - you shouldn't need to make excuses, flexible start time would be a better fit for you and strikes me as being a reasonable adjustment.

 

[Petcha]

I've successfully used in the past year:

• A wasp infestation in the ceiling (came to at a friend's place fucked off my tits staring at the roof)
• Lockjaw (which obvs stops you having to actually call them)

Basically the more bonkers the reason is, the more believable it is. Family deaths are also good.

 

[Clair De Lune]

I find keeping them vague best....sorry I'm late...trains, kids, stressful morning.

If I was honest - sorry I'm late, I didn't really want to come in so I spent a while watching the swans wishing I was one.

 

[Spymaster]

There are only occasional genuine excuses for lateness. I find it's always the same people who are late for stuff, and that's usually because they are either disorganised, incompetent, self-centered, or some combination of those.

 

[danski]

A tricky poo.

 

[Leafster]

If you drive there's often no need to make up excuses.

Real excuses I've used:

There was a bus blocking the road which caused a tailback
There was a herd of cows on the A23 which caused a tailback
My starter motor jammed
There was an accident - used multiple times
The M25!

Oh, and sorry I'm late someone had wrapped my car in toilet paper.

 

[Ax^]

just be honest fuck it

I'm disorganised and wait for them to get bored of asking you

 

[danny la rouge]

There’s no need for more than “Sorry I’m late”. That’s it.

 

[Pickman's model]

never apologise, never explain

 

[Pickman's model]

There are only occasional genuine excuses for lateness. I find it's always the same people who are late for stuff, and that's usually because they are either disorganised, incompetent, self-centered, or some combination of those.

or hungover

 

[JimW]

Or, I'm late but I'm not that sorry.

 

[danny la rouge]

Or, I'm late but I'm not that sorry.

Yes. I mean I’m usually sorry, but if you aren’t don’t perjure yourself.

 

[savoloysam]

Mirtazapine.

 

[JimW]

I'm a punctuality fiend and my wife is not so we only go to things together if it's something fun and doesn't matter or we really have to, when I try and fail to be relaxed about fucking about for ages when we should have left already.

 

[Epona]

I find keeping them vague best....sorry I'm late...trains, kids, stressful morning.

If I was honest - sorry I'm late, I didn't really want to come in so I spent a while watching the swans wishing I was one.

This is so true for me, I am super organised and (barring emergencies) on time if I want to be doing something or going somewhere.
If I don't it's like my brain just rejects it and goes Nope. I can't give priority to stuff I don't give a shit about, even if I know I might get in trouble for it.
OH on the other hand is late for everything, if he turned up anywhere on time I'd probably keel over in shock. Nothing to be done about it really, he doesn't mean anything by it, he literally just can't organise himself in that way or keep track of time.

 

[Ranbay]

Shit my pants on the way in, had to go home and change.... nobody will question it

 

[Pickman's model]

Shit my pants on the way in, had to go home and change.... nobody will question it

or ask to examine the soiled garment

 

[Pickman's model]

There are only occasional genuine excuses for lateness. I find it's always the same people who are late for stuff, and that's usually because they are either disorganised, incompetent, self-centered, or some combination of those.

now you bring it to mind you were late the last time we met

 

[maomao]

Family deaths are also good.

Keep track though. I worked with a woman who lost three grandads.

 

[Pickman's model]

Keep track though. I worked with a woman who lost three grandads.

easily done - one second husband of grandma

 

[danny la rouge]

Keep track though. I worked with a woman who lost three grandads.

Blended families etc.

 

[Athos]

Keep track though. I worked with a woman who lost three grandads.

easily done - one second husband of grandma

So being so heteronormative.

 

[Ax^]

tbf to myself it's a cultural thing

Urban Dictionary: Irish People Time

 

[maomao]

Blended families

Even so she'd be unlucky to lose all three in six months.

 

[Athos]

Even so she'd be unlucky to lose all three in six months.

Yes, poor woman. She doesn't need you compounding her grief by doubting the tragedy!

 

[maomao]

Meh, I wasn't her manager and I doubt she reads urban.

 

[Spymaster]

now you bring it to mind you were late the last time we met

Incomptence on the part of the Uber driver.

 

[Pickman's model]

Incomptence on the part of the Uber driver.

i'll believe you

 

[friedaweed]

Lateness is an interesting concept. I personally hate being late and get in a bit of a state if I'm late for anything work related.

The last time I was late for work was down to an out of control horse on a country lane. The horse dismounted it's rider and I had no phone signal to let the people know I wasn't going to arrive on time or get help. I had to stop and help the poor lass as she was in a bit of a mess and the horse wasn't having any of my horse whispering technique "Good horse, be a good boy now". Thankfully she got him under control but when I turned up 45 minutes late to the meeting covered in mud an smelling of horse everyone just thought it was funny.

I work with a couple of people who are always late and to be fair I just accept that they are going to be late but one scouser I work with was terrible for making up excuses that weren't plausible. The thing that pissed everyone off about her was we'd spend ages talking about her flooded kitchen or her sick dog episodes in a meeting that was already running late.

Culturally I think in this country we're quite accepting of lateness whereas in other cultures it's not as acceptable. Notably serious about this are the Swedes where the only thing more terrible than turning up late is actually turning up early.

I'd just apologise for being late and let that be it. People will decide individually how they feel about it no matter what drama you invent for your lateness.

If it's a constant work issue though Orang Utan I'd explain to them the difficulties you have and be up front about it which would be better than them nailing you down for your punctuality and ending up in performance management proceedings. .