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England vs USA

I just saw this in a rather unmentionable source, so I won't link. I'd througt head to head games were the first stage tie breaker, but it's still good old goal difference apparently.

What each team needs to qualify​

Tie breakers: If two or more teams are still level based on points, goal difference, goals scored and head-to-head results, then the fair play system will be used.

England
The Three Lions will qualify if they draw against Wales on Tuesday.
Southgate's side would move to five points with a draw, with Wales at best moving up to third on two points.
With Iran and USA - second and third respectively - facing each other, only one side can finish above England.
England, meanwhile, can lose to Wales and still progress. In fact, even with a 3-0 defeat to Wales they would still go through.
To guarantee first place in the group, however, they will need to beat Wales.

Iran
After their victory over Wales, Carlos Quieroz's side would seal qualification with a victory over the United States regardless of the other results in the group.
In fact, even if they were to only get a draw against the USA, they would go through if Wales failed to beat England.
However, if Iran draw with USA and Wales beat England, they will be out.
United States
Put simply, USA have to beat Iran to win; there is no other option.
With USA currently in third and behind Iran in second, a draw would leave them behind Tuesday's opponents.

Wales
Wales need to beat England in their final game to have any hope of making the next stage.
Even then it could still be difficult for them to advance. As stated, they need to beat England 4-0 in order to finish above the Three Lions.
Should they beat England by a lesser margin, they will finish below the Three Lions - and both USA and Iran would finish above them with a win of their own.
Essentially, Wales must win AND Iran vs USA must end as a draw... unless they beat England 4-0.
 
Just imagine, if nobody ever scores a (non-penalty*) goal in the World Cup ever again, no matter how hard they try... game after game, tournament after tournament - they'd have to spiritually award the cup to England precisely because of that unending boring beigeness... Shame Philip K Dick's not around to write the short story tbh...

* - and none of the penalties ever hit the back of the net anyway... as is the way so often with life itself... :(
 
Just imagine, if nobody ever scores a (non-penalty*) goal in the World Cup ever again, no matter how hard they try... game after game, tournament after tournament - they'd have to spiritually award the cup to England precisely because of that unending boring beigeness... Shame Philip K Dick's not around to write the short story tbh...

* - and none of the penalties ever hit the back of the net anyway... as is the way so often with life itself... :(
Do Androids Dream of Harry Kane?
 
The whole thing was so fucking rubbish I've forgotten that it even ever happened and as a result have no idea why I'm even making this comment. Big fan of towels though - lots of post-showering damp bumcheek marks on the sofa without them, round my place at least...
 
Yes. Couldn't work out quite what was going on - looks a bit cheeky!
The ref would have been on my 'buy that man a pint' list for all eternity if he'd stopped the match and said 'you go and apologise to the photographer you little shite'.
 
i didnt watch it (not watched a game yet) but reading moaning in the papers that the game was boring and nil-nil

errr, thats football! check your pools coupon for 0-0 stand offs between even teams - standard stuff, especially at group stage
 
"Speak to any football supporter watching the Premier League over the last three years and ask ‘who is the most naturally gifted English footballer today?’ and 80 per cent would say Foden. The other 20 per cent are not watching closely enough." - Jamie Carragher
 
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