Do you have any 'house rules'? If so, what are they?

[Chemical needs]

It's all rank but tailor mades are definitely worse, more acrid, more potent, more pervasive.

 

[seeformiles]

The idea they’re somehow better is utterly laughable. It all smells the same, in that it fucking stinks, along with the person smoking them.

To a non-smoker perhaps (& I agree it stinks) but rollies generally have less tobacco in them (& less chemicals to keep them lit) and less overall smoke.

 

[Reno]

I would generally try to avoid shitting in someone else's toilet as a visitor and would look dimly on anyone who left skidders on the pan in my house, but outright banning people from taking a crap seems a bit unrealistic

I wasn’t being serious but I don’t like it when people have a shit at mine during a brief visit. I always have my shit in the morning at home, coffee in the morning helps with that.

My only actual house rule is to take off shoes in my flat and that’s something Germans follow automatically. Dog shit every where in Berlin and I don’t need it in my rugs (a theme of shit phobia here)

Another thing German men are conditioned to do is to piss while sitting on the bog. I have a friend from London who visits once a year, who claims his aim is perfect but a few days into his stay, my bathroom/loo reeks of piss. For some reason he thinks, pissing while sitting is a threat to his masculinity.

 

[Gromit]

In my house we obey the laws of thermodynamics.
That's not unreasonable I think.

 

[Riklet]

That seems quite an odd requirement. What’s the reasoning for it? I only do it if I’m having trouble getting out of bed and it’s sunny out.

I mean you dont make your bed in the morning so I didnt think you'd understand

 

[Aladdin]

That seems quite an odd requirement. What’s the reasoning for it? I only do it if I’m having trouble getting out of bed and it’s sunny out.

Someone where I work left a shit on the floor of the loo.
I knew who it was too.
And it was the ONLY women's loo in the building.

Eta. I understood it as a dirty protest.

 

[killer b]

I wasn’t being serious but I don’t like it when people have a shit at mine during a brief visit. I always have my shit in the morning at home, coffee in the morning helps with that.

I doubt anyone's very comfortable shitting on someone else's bog - it's an only when caught short activity for the vast majority of people, most of whom also tend to clear out in the morning after their coffee

 

[Sue]

Roll up smoke is way more stinky than real fag smoke. It’s got this rotten sweet tinge to it
<boak>

But it's got nothing NOTHING on vaping.

 

[beesonthewhatnow]

I doubt anyone's very comfortable shitting on someone else's bog

It’s honestly something I’ve never even thought about

We all shit, toilets are there to facilitate that, if you need to go, go

Genuinely baffled at the realisation people worry about this

 

[killer b]

It’s honestly something I’ve never even thought about

We all shit, toilets are there to facilitate that, if you need to go, go

Genuinely baffled at the realisation people worry about this

I'm aware everyone shits, but I'm also aware that shit often stinks, and would prefer to avoid making other people's houses smell of it if possible.

 

[bellaozzydog]

I doubt anyone's very comfortable shitting on someone else's bog - it's an only when caught short activity for the vast majority of people, most of whom also tend to clear out in the morning after their coffee

What’s wrong with people

Shit when you need a shit where ever you are, anything other than that is sliding into some wierd ass potty training neurosis. Blame the parents

 

[beesonthewhatnow]

I'm aware everyone shits, but I'm also aware that shit often stinks, and would prefer to avoid making other people's houses smell of it if possible.

This is why mankind invented air fresheners.

 

[ouirdeaux]

What I find interesting is how everyone assumes that their experience on this point is universal.

I was neurotic about pretty much everything as a child, including toilets. But the worst thing was that I assumed that I was the only one who was. I grew out of it, mostly, after I realised that others were far worse, and there was really no reason to make life more unpleasant and complicated than it is by nature.

 

[pogofish]

That seems quite an odd requirement. What’s the reasoning for it? I only do it if I’m having trouble getting out of bed and it’s sunny out.

If you are splitting bills, you soon discover why all of you paying for their 24/7 power consumption is bad. Esp back in the days of 60, 120/150 or god-forbid 300 watt lightbulbs - "OH but i need good light to draw!"

And they tend to go nocturnal - cleaning-out the fridge when you sleep!

 

[pogofish]

Roll up smoke is way more stinky than real fag smoke. It’s got this rotten sweet tinge to it
<boak>

Specifically Drum, Old Holborn or that cheap and really stinky Cherry-Menthol stuff - which IME seemed to be the rolling tobaccos of choice for every seasoned wastrel..!

They never seem to want to open the windows either.

 

[seeformiles]

I'm aware everyone shits, but I'm also aware that shit often stinks, and would prefer to avoid making other people's houses smell of it if possible.

We have a big box of matches on top the cistern for such stinky times - plus a wind-up radio to hide any bodily noises (toilet is next door to the spare bedroom so don’t want anyone to have “stage fright”)

 

[nottsgirl]

I don’t really have any house rules but then I only have family and close friends round and they all behave themselves usually.

Let’s go with no shitting on the living room carpet to keep the thread on theme.

 

[Orang Utan]

I mean you dont make your bed in the morning so I didnt think you'd understand

I don’t make my bed. There’s no point. I don’t live in an army barracks.
And what’s wrong with putting the light on in the morning? Are you one of those people who sits in the gloom until evening?

 

[friedaweed]

Not as badly. I always smoked rollies and Mrs SFM (who has never smoked) was quite tolerant of it but one day there was a cig promotion in the pub with attractive young ladies and gentlemen handing out free packs of Marlboro Lights. I lit one up at home and was told to get out of the house while she opened the windows and purged the stink.

As a man who moved from Marlborough Reds to Drum and other Rough Shag rolling tobacco blends I can honestly report from my wife that both smell as rank as T'other but she says the Marlborough reds remind her of our earlier sexual encounters and she has an affection for the toasty flavour that lasts about a minute and then she thinks.."urrghHH smokey stinky soft twit". .

 

[seeformiles]

As a man who moved from Marlborough Reds to Drum and other Rough Shag rolling tobacco blends I can honestly report from my wife that both smell as rank as T'other but she says the Marlborough reds remind her of our earlier sexual encounters and she has an affection for the toasty flavour that lasts about a minute and then she thinks.."urrghHH smokey stinky soft twit". .

Looks like my missus has a more discerning schnozzle - or perhaps she was lying to me all those years

 

[friedaweed]

Looks like my missus has a more discerning schnozzle - or perhaps she was lying to me all those years

The first time I kissed my wife I apologised for stinking of fags. She told me it smelt and tasted sexy.

Now we're married I find her a lot more forthright in her opinions on my health, scent and potential longevity.

She's clearly more sensible than me

 

[seeformiles]

The first time I kissed my wife I apologised for stinking of fags. She told me it smelt and tasted sexy.

Now we're married I find her a lot more forthright in her opinions on my health, scent and potential longevity.

She's clearly more sensible than me

When I met my missus in the 80s, pretty much everyone smoked so she knew the difference so, as a non-smoker, had no axe to grind. The idea - posted by some on here, that cigs are some sort of generic product with no difference in smell is a bit daft. If you smoke/smoked , you have/had a preference of your stinky cig of choice based on much more than the picture on the packet. On occasion I used to take a packet of Gitanes to parties purely because no one would ask me for a cig as they stink of silage (something I perversely loved).
Glad to be smoke free but the idea that their smell is all the same and equally offensive to the nose is nonsense.

 

[friedaweed]

Glad to be smoke free but the idea that their smell is all the same and equally offensive to the nose is nonsense

I agree but probably best to let nonsmokers decide on that though given its effect on the smell and taste abilities of its closest victims.

 

[Magnus McGinty]

Remembering the halycon days of spliffs happening at whichever house party you ended up in after clubbing and how societal expectations have changed so much, from those very same people.

 

[Orang Utan]

Spliffs/weed don’t count

 

[Magnus McGinty]

Spliffs/weed don’t count

Can we get a show of hands then?

 

[AnnO'Neemus]

You must open the curtains and blinds in the morning when it's light and close them when it's dark. Im pretty insistent about it with my housemates. One of them would leave everything closed and put the lights on first thing the massive dufus.

What, was he a vampire?

 

[AnnO'Neemus]

Spliffs/weed don’t count

Still only on the balcony at my place, still not allowed indoors.

 

[AnnO'Neemus]

We have a big box of matches on top the cistern for such stinky times - plus a wind-up radio to hide any bodily noises (toilet is next door to the spare bedroom so don’t want anyone to have “stage fright”)

I think mine is now a radio in the bathroom when needed household. Because the bathroom window is also on the balcony, as it's next to the kitchen window and kitchen door. Which makes for self-conscious latrine time if the other person is chilling out on the balcony. Although mostly waiting till the other person is out, I think.

 

[Dystopiary]

Shit. didn't realise this wasn't in community/knobbing & sobbing! Oops.