Do you have any 'house rules'? If so, what are they?

[surreybrowncap]

- no jizz on the cat

Well - only if it's consensual ...
Mind you some cats can be quite flirtatious...

 

[marty21]

When we both smoked , smoking was allowed in our flat , when Mrs21 gave up (years before I did) it was banned in the flat although I was able to get away with a few morning snouts after Mrs21 went to work (she used to leave at about 7) . I guess it is banned now as we have both given up , we haven't had any smoker visitors for years so the policy is yet to be tested.

 

[Orang Utan]

You are not the arsehole at all. Everyone else is.
I didn’t think I had any rules at all but I guess I do, they’re just unspoken, so any houseguest will occasionally find me in a strop cos they put the cups away wrong, but I’ll never fucking tell them, just judge them silently and furiously and post about it on here.

 

[Orang Utan]

It’s mad that smoking is still a thing. It’s such a shit expensive drug

 

[souljacker]

I'm an occasional smoker and I smoke in the garden. If someone was round who didn't get that, I'd kick them out. They would get a warning but just the one.

 

[TopCat]

...and how easy or difficult do you find it to enforce them?

I'm wondering because I'm feeling a bit gaslighted at the moment. A friend is a house guest. He's previously stayed here when I wasn't living in my flat. Mostly we get on okay, he's good company, but over the weekend, we'd had a nice meal (he cooked), we'd both drunk a fair bit, when all of a sudden, out of the blue, he raises the subject of Person X, who was a friend of a friend who was very briefly a lodger of mine several years ago, who I chucked out for smoking in my flat.

I think him and Person X have some mutual friends, and suspect maybe he's mentioned to one of them that he's staying at mine and they've told/reminded him about this ancient history.

He was really having a go at me for being unreasonable for chucking someone out for breaking house rules.

Basically, I have two house rules: smoking isn't allowed inside my flat, only on the balcony, and I don't allow pig meat in my flat. (I also used to be no outdoor shoes indoors, but my carpets are knackered and flooring needs replacing, which I'm planning to do soon.)

I actually ended up getting a bit upset, because he was acting like I was really outrageous and unreasonable for kicking someone out of my home for breaking house rules.

Person X was told about house rules before moving in and agreed to them. I subsequently smelled smoke and asked her if she'd been smoking in her room, and she said Yes, but only a bit. (It took about six weeks of air freshener and leaving windows open when it wasn't raining to get rid of all the smell.)

I'm now questioning myself again and wondering am I the arsehole in this scenario?

I do have a lot of emotional baggage, I've been treated like shit a lot over the years, so I'm really shocked that a friend seems to effectively be saying that I shouldn't have boundaries and house rules in my own home. Or that if I do have house rules, random lodgers or house guests should be able to just break them with no consequences and I'm somehow being a terrible person for not wanting people to smoke in my home, and for kicking out people who do.

(Also bearing in mind that years ago I let an acquaintance stay on a similar basis, ie you can crash in the spare room, but no smoking indoors, it's only allowed on the balcony, and she not only smoked in her bedroom but dozed off while smoking in bed and there were burn holes in sheets and I was upset and furious because she could've set my flat on fire.

There was a house fire when I was 13-years-old in which I lost everything but the clothes I was standing up in.

So it's not just about the smell, which I really dislike, it's about fire safety.)

What house rules do other people have, and do you just turn a blind eye if friends or houseguests break them?

It's making me question how much I can trust people. I mean, I've learned I can't really trust randoms who smoke, because in my experience when they agree not to smoke indoors, many of them are lying, but it's upsetting to think a friend thinks I'm in the wrong for banishing someone who broke a house rule that they were aware of and agreed to.

Now I'm thinking like he doesn't respect me and my house rules so I'm feeling like maybe I can't trust him to respect them - or me - either.

It’s your gaff. You can demand what you want.

 

[jontz01]

As a smoker myself, I'd never dream of smoking indoors. It's a disgusting habit, especially for non smokers in the vicinity. Anyone who doesn't respect your property and space can fuck right off imho.

 

[scifisam]

Totally reasonable rule. In some ways it wouldn't even occur to me to have it as a rule - it's just the norm. Lots of formal shared houses (as in, not a lodger and landlady situation) ban smoking indoors too.

I'm struggling to think of anything non-obvious. I guess there's "put your rubbish in the bin" (if they're staying for a few days, not just round for the evening), which sadly does need to be made explicit to some people.

 

[8ball]

Don't be a cunt.

 

[MickiQ]

Mrs Q's golden rule for me (and other males as well but mostly me) is always put the toilet seat & lid down after a piss. I'm so well conditioned now that I find myself putting them down in men's public toilets whilst thinking why the fuck am I doing this.

 

[Elpenor]

Mrs Q's golden rule for me (and other males as well but mostly me) is always put the toilet seat & lid down after a piss. I'm so well conditioned now that I find myself putting them down in men's public toilets whilst thinking why the fuck am I doing this.

I started pissing with seat down when I lived with four women at Uni. Now I do it out of choice as I find it more comfortable and less messy

 

[Orang Utan]

I started pissing with seat down when I lived with four women at Uni. Now I do it out of choice as I find it more comfortable and less messy

dunno why all men don't do this, esp if they live with women

 

[MickiQ]

I started pissing with seat down when I lived with four women at Uni. Now I do it out of choice as I find it more comfortable and less messy

You mean pee sitting down right? I pee standing up. I lift seat & lid obvs, it's the not putting them back down again bit that winds her up.

 

[Elpenor]

You mean pee sitting down right? I pee standing up. I lift seat & lid obvs, it's the not putting them back down again bit that winds her up.

Yes.

 

[xenon]

Oh nos, not the sitting down to wee thing again.

The seat goes up for a reason yo.

 

[Orang Utan]

You mean pee sitting down right? I pee standing up. I lift seat & lid obvs, it's the not putting them back down again bit that winds her up.

just sit down ffs!

 

[Elpenor]

Oh nos, not the sitting down to wee thing again.

The seat goes up for a reason yo.

Not according to this song

 

[MickiQ]

just sit down ffs!

Some of us can aim straight

 

[Orang Utan]

Some of us can aim straight

some of us are more deluded than others. do you clean the toilet in your house?

 

[Orang Utan]

1. No stand up pissing
(though that could easily be covered by the 'don't be a dick' rule)

 

[MickiQ]

some of us are more deluded than others. do you clean the toilet in your house?

yes

 

[maomao]

Some of us can aim straight

What if there's a bit of smeg in your urethra and you get a forking stream? No-one can aim one of them reliably.

 

[MickiQ]

What if there's a bit of smeg in your urethra and you get a forking stream? No-one can aim one of them reliably.

I'll worry about that if it ever happens

 

[Sasaferrato]

No smoking in the house.

 

[friedaweed]

Typical URBAN75. Not even two pages and it's 'sit down wee wee boy' all over again.

On the op.

I smoke. I don't do it indoors in our house and wouldn't dream of smoking in someone else's home. We have a perfectly functional den where anyone can do what they want in it, including spunking on a cat if they wish.

Regardless of the smoking issue though your house is your home and you make the rules and any daft cunt who turns up and stays in your home and does things that show lack of consideration for you is a cunt.

The only spoken rule we have in our house is first up makes the coffee but there are a few other unspoken ones that I have had to enforce with my 17 year old son. "You spewed out of your window, you get the jetwasher", "Smoke herb in the spare room again and I'll break your legs so Narnia doesn't have to", "Drink the bar dry, go the co-op".

I sit for pee because of my knees.

 

[Puddy_Tat]

including spunking on a cat if they wish.

only with the cat's consent, surely?

 

[mx wcfc]

Same ish here. I used to smoke, but never smoked in a house we shared.

There no rules here, but there are conventions. For example, whoever cooks dinner, is exempt from clearing up the kitchen afterwards. There's no rule, as such, it's just what we do. I generally deal with the bins, putting the rubbish out etc, but only because it's an easier job when mrs mx's car isn't in the drive (ie when she's at work).

 

[friedaweed]

only with the cat's consent, surely?

If the cat is daft enough to venture into the den of iniquity then it can live with it's own fur afterwards.

 

[pinkmonkey]

No leaving any taps running, no leaving lights on. If you smoke, then sit outside. Those are the main things.

 

[pinkmonkey]

Before we moved a couple of weeks back it was ‘no shitting in the downstairs loo’

Bit harder to enforce now we live in a bungalow.

I have a ‘no puking in the toilet’ rule, it’s a dry/separator toilet, I am not dealing with that. Puking over the side, please but no leaving any puke streaks ON the side. Clean them off. It’s a long time since it happened but they (El Jugs and the coalboat man) drank a whole bottle of Port and it took some elbow grease to get that off the side.