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Combating hopelessness

I love this bit from the article.
"Circumstances, no matter how bad, do not have to defeat us. You have the capacity to adopt more hopeful patterns of thinking in the face of adversity, and to adjust and pursue your goals, even amid hardship. If you can maintain hope in these ways, it will help you find the courage, strength and resilience to ride out the inevitable storms that life brings."
 
panpete said:
I love this bit from the article.
"Circumstances, no matter how bad, do not have to defeat us. You have the capacity to adopt more hopeful patterns of thinking in the face of adversity, and to adjust and pursue your goals, even amid hardship. If you can maintain hope in these ways, it will help you find the courage, strength and resilience to ride out the inevitable storms that life brings."
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I think my boss may have said something similar in my last appraisal.
 
I’m sat in a 14 day quarantine in a west African country being fed survival rations three times a day.
Today I got out of bed and had a shave, that’s the level of my taking back control

I’m going to wheedle more rations out of them and when the flu like symptoms and travel lumbar pain have died down I’m doing some stretches

I’m a slothful creature at the best of times but this is a bit much even for me

Send hope and positive vibes
 
bellaozzydog said:
I’m sat in a 14 day quarantine in a west African country being fed survival rations three times a day.
Today I got out of bed and had a shave, that’s the level of my taking back control

I’m going to wheedle more rations out of them and when the flu like symptoms and travel lumbar pain have died down I’m doing some stretches

I’m a slothful creature at the best of times but this is a bit much even for me

Send hope and positive vibes
Click to expand...
hope you're writing a book about your adventures sometime

tell us about your favourite ration
 
bellaozzydog said:
I’m sat in a 14 day quarantine in a west African country being fed survival rations three times a day.
Today I got out of bed and had a shave, that’s the level of my taking back control

I’m going to wheedle more rations out of them and when the flu like symptoms and travel lumbar pain have died down I’m doing some stretches

I’m a slothful creature at the best of times but this is a bit much even for me

Send hope and positive vibes
Click to expand...

Vibes are in the post. Lorry will be en route as soon as a driver and a few gallons of petrol are found…
 
David Clapson said:
I find that a most powerful way to combat hopelessness is to watch Talking Pictures TV. Seriously. Freeview channel 81.
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Can you explain why? What do you find hopeful about old films?

Can't get that channel. I love many an old film myself but in a passive falling asleep sort of way. To many old films are war time / war themed / western / colonial non sense just make me angry with their jingoistic / racist propaganda.

Can you recommend a few old films for combating hopelessness?
 
bellaozzydog said:
I’m sat in a 14 day quarantine in a west African country being fed survival rations three times a day.
Today I got out of bed and had a shave, that’s the level of my taking back control

I’m going to wheedle more rations out of them and when the flu like symptoms and travel lumbar pain have died down I’m doing some stretches

I’m a slothful creature at the best of times but this is a bit much even for me

Send hope and positive vibes
Click to expand...
Yikes. Wishing you survival and good vibes.
 
Gin n tonic said:
Over here... Homelessness is almost a career, not by way of people's choice, but governmental indifference. It is an actual visitor attraction almost and makes me pretty angry
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Certainly successive govts since Thatcher have just ignored it or increase the problem. Homelessness charities have become an industry. Makes me so angry too.
 
There's a lot in that article. It made me think about my own resilience and my own thinking style = brittle / depressive / pessimistic. I used to think it was the culture I was brought up in northern miserablism, grim up north, things can always get worse . I've been very consciously trying to change this but it is not easy the thinking pattern s of a lifetime.

There is also talk about 'agency' or lack of it. There is so much that is wrong in the world that is just completely beyond my control. I still reduce, reuse, recycle stuff but know I have no control over the enormous mountains of waste clogging our oceans / landfill. I do my best to be mindful of my carbon footprint - but as a city dweller in a rich country there is so little I can do as a single individual. Neoliberal govt have made what needs to be a nationwide collective issue a matter of personal choice.

I think we need more collective activism, more solidarity. I don't feel I can have an agency to change things on a national / global level. But I hope I can contribute to my local community or local campaigns. Well that's what I'm trying to keep in mind to stay just a little bit hopeful.
 
Gin n tonic said:
Over here... Homelessness is almost a career, not by way of people's choice, but governmental indifference. It is an actual visitor attraction almost and makes me pretty angry
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Have you heard about CLTs community land trusts? it's a growing form of community housing. I've joined a LGBT CLT not so much so that they might house me personally, but they are such an optimistic group of mostly young people I've enjoyed hanging out with them.

Meant to ask where is 'over here'?
 
friendofdorothy said:
Can you explain why? What do you find hopeful about old films?

Can't get that channel. I love many an old film myself but in a passive falling asleep sort of way. To many old films are war time / war themed / western / colonial non sense just make me angry with their jingoistic / racist propaganda.

Can you recommend a few old films for combating hopelessness?
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I'm not sure...maybe they're so unlike contemporary life that they take me out of myself, to a quieter, less stressful existence. It's not a particular film. Just a general coziness. As you say, some of them are dreadful, the jingoism, chauvinism, every kind of ism. But watching them is still like switching off the real world. I wouldn't call it hope, but it's an absence of despair.
 
David Clapson friendofdorothy
Just to chip in on nostalgia/escapist films channels

1. Rather than Talking Pictures TV I have felt more egaged with Channel 51 when it was showing "Classic" movies over and over again. Unfortunately it is off-air now until January, as it is showing Christmas moves until then!!!

Lately Great Movies Classic had been showing endless repeats of IF.... a 1969 film about public school prefect abuse and staff incompetence ending with the Headmaster shot dead after a speech day riot. Passionate and surreal.
Chimed completely with my own time at a minor public school in Suffolk. Public school bullying and weird staff transformed into heroic fantasy.

2. On Wednesday I was trying to follow the David Clapson advice re Talking Pictures TV, but frankly the re-re-hash of Frankenstein (Frankenstein and the Monster from Hell) was just beyond the pale.
So I turned over to BBC2 and watched this film
Boy Erased.jpg
Not my normal cup of tea. I don't like American films generally, don't like evangelicals either.
But this film actualy made me think a lot.
I grew up gay in an unaccepting family environment - but my Dad was a lorry driver, who had served in the navy in the Far East as a late teen. My Mum was a very religious infant school teacher.
So my family reaction to discussing being gay was "we don't want to talk about it"
Well at least my Dad wasn't a Baptist preacher in the buckle of the Bible Belt with a subservient wife.
I'm not sure my Mum ever really came to rterms with my secxuality - she died at 61 - but one of her last gifts to me was a CD set of Benjamin Briten's War Requiem. Was it because Britten was gay and she was tentatively saying it was OK?
My Dad sort of adoped a "Don't ask don't tell" position. I recall when he was very old - about 77 - I bought a DVD of the New York City Ballet which I put on the DVD player in his house.
"Take that off - it's a male man!" he said.

Even so it's not quite packing me off to Gay Conversion Therapy at 18, is it?
The scenes in the film of praying over and the therapeutic "scenes" were ghastly.
In my mid thirties I was persuaded to have Gestalt Therapy (for depression etc).
What a load of bollocks. This idea of proking anger and getting out the red baseball bat to hit piles of cushions.
£30 cash in hand was the price for this voodoo therapy. I hope the therapist got a visitation from the Inland Revenue!

Anyway BBC2 have energised me this week - this film touched me to the core.
 
David Clapson said:
I'm not sure...maybe they're so unlike contemporary life that they take me out of myself, to a quieter, less stressful existence. It's not a particular film. Just a general coziness. As you say, some of them are dreadful, the jingoism, chauvinism, every kind of ism. But watching them is still like switching off the real world. I wouldn't call it hope, but it's an absence of despair.
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Hello David Clapson an abscence of despair is my general aspiration these days. I've not watched any news/polital debate since march 2020 to avoid a daily despair and rising blood pressure. I find distraction is helpful for my mental wellbeing, but its not the same as combatting hopelessness.
 
CH1 said:
David Clapson friendofdorothy
Just to chip in on nostalgia/escapist films channels

1. Rather than Talking Pictures TV I have felt more egaged with Channel 51 when it was showing "Classic" movies over and over again. Unfortunately it is off-air now until January, as it is showing Christmas moves until then!!!

Lately Great Movies Classic had been showing endless repeats of IF.... a 1969 film about public school prefect abuse and staff incompetence ending with the Headmaster shot dead after a speech day riot. Passionate and surreal.
Chimed completely with my own time at a minor public school in Suffolk. Public school bullying and weird staff transformed into heroic fantasy.

2. On Wednesday I was trying to follow the David Clapson advice re Talking Pictures TV, but frankly the re-re-hash of Frankenstein (Frankenstein and the Monster from Hell) was just beyond the pale.
So I turned over to BBC2 and watched this film
View attachment 290905
Not my normal cup of tea. I don't like American films generally, don't like evangelicals either.
But this film actualy made me think a lot.
I grew up gay in an unaccepting family environment - but my Dad was a lorry driver, who had served in the navy in the Far East as a late teen. My Mum was a very religious infant school teacher.
So my family reaction to discussing being gay was "we don't want to talk about it"
Well at least my Dad wasn't a Baptist preacher in the buckle of the Bible Belt with a subservient wife.
I'm not sure my Mum ever really came to rterms with my secxuality - she died at 61 - but one of her last gifts to me was a CD set of Benjamin Briten's War Requiem. Was it because Britten was gay and she was tentatively saying it was OK?
My Dad sort of adoped a "Don't ask don't tell" position. I recall when he was very old - about 77 - I bought a DVD of the New York City Ballet which I put on the DVD player in his house.
"Take that off - it's a male man!" he said.

Even so it's not quite packing me off to Gay Conversion Therapy at 18, is it?
The scenes in the film of praying over and the therapeutic "scenes" were ghastly.
In my mid thirties I was persuaded to have Gestalt Therapy (for depression etc).
What a load of bollocks. This idea of proking anger and getting out the red baseball bat to hit piles of cushions.
£30 cash in hand was the price for this voodoo therapy. I hope the therapist got a visitation from the Inland Revenue!

Anyway BBC2 have energised me this week - this film touched me to the core.
Click to expand...
Thanks for that. Did you ever see Oranges are not the only fruit? - similar evangelicalical themes - only involving lesbians and set in Accrington. They didn't call it conversion therapy at the time, they called it exorcism, but it was the same idea. It was a tv series in 1985 from an autobiographical novel by Janette Winterson. Grim, but funny. The main character finds escape by being good at school and going to University.
 
friendofdorothy said:
Hello David Clapson an abscence of despair is my general aspiration these days. I've not watched any news/polital debate since march 2020 to avoid a daily despair and rising blood pressure. I find distraction is helpful for my mental wellbeing, but its not the same as combatting hopelessness.
Click to expand...

Distraction all the way! I used to get it from sitting in the front row at an empty cinema (the Ritzy) in the afternoon. But I gave up on the Ritzy. Now I get distraction from my lovely cat, plus fiddling with my amazing new bike, and the fabulous Talking Pictures TV. I don't need to watch it, just having it in the background is fantastic. Maybe you could get something similar from a radio station? I think there are ways to get all sorts of extra stations on the internet....maybe something from a different part of the world?

I also get a mood boost from coffee, now that I have an Illy capsule machine. It's been an amazing life enhancer. It's nothing like a Nespresso one, it tastes very nearly as good as may favourite London cafes. It really is that good. Trouble is, I'm on about 9 nine shots per day. Y3.3 Espresso Capsule Machine - Coffee Machine - illy
 
David Clapson said:
Distraction all the way! I used to get it from sitting in the front row at an empty cinema (the Ritzy) in the afternoon. But I gave up on the Ritzy. Now I get distraction from my lovely cat, plus fiddling with my amazing new bike, and the fabulous Talking Pictures TV. I don't need to watch it, just having it in the background is fantastic. Maybe you could get something similar from a radio station? I think there are ways to get all sorts of extra stations on the internet....maybe something from a different part of the world?

I also get a mood boost from coffee, now that I have an Illy capsule machine. It's been an amazing life enhancer. It's nothing like a Nespresso one, it tastes very nearly as good as may favourite London cafes. It really is that good. Trouble is, I'm on about 9 nine shots per day. Y3.3 Espresso Capsule Machine - Coffee Machine - illy
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are you on commission? or just really hyped up on caffeine? It may help your mood, and I'm glad it works for you.

Have you read my opening posts - I was talking about a political hopelessness (and fuck what a worse political mess we are in now!) - this is why I started this discussion:

I need ideas on how to face the struggle against the Torys and avoid depression and burnout.
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Generally I don't think buying consumer goods and developing an addiction is the best way to combat hopelessness - this is what big businesses and Conservatives want us to do - No amount of coffee (or gin) will help me deal with global warming, waste, brexit, war, poverty, plague or this shit shower of useless Torys.

unhappy with your life? this product will transform your life and make you happy! = is a lie.
 
I'm not saying so-called natural mood boosters are much of an answer. Chilis, chocolate and caffeine have a very brief effect and bring their own problems. But at least they're not as harmful as opioids or strong weed. To get back to your original point, I despair so much about this country, and the values of some people who used to be close friends, that I've made plans to leave, in a camper van, taking my cat and bicycle and motor bike. I desperately want to get back to some Nordic values...I fell in love with Norway on a cycling trip some years ago. I'm going to try to be away travelling for 9 months of the year. I'll go wherever the weather is warm - not too hot, not too cold - and hope to escape the extremes of climate change. I'm not rich, so it's all very, very ambitious. It may or may not work.
 
friendofdorothy said:
Can't get that channel. I love many an old film myself but in a passive falling asleep sort of way. To many old films are war time / war themed / western / colonial non sense just make me angry with their jingoistic / racist propaganda.
Click to expand...

may be worth a re-tune - it does exist in south london (i'm at mum-tat's in sunny SE London at the moment) and it's on freeview here, assume it's from one of the transmitters up in the mountains round norwood / anerley

some of the stuff on there's a load of old crud, and some of it stuff that would appeal to people who think life was so much better when 'everyone' was white and straight with 'traditional family values' but there's occasionally something worth watching.

friendofdorothy said:
unhappy with your life? this product will transform your life and make you happy! = is a lie.
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as in

ratracepolyp.jpg
 
When hope is a hindrance
For Hannah Arendt, hope is a dangerous barrier to courageous action. In dark times, the miracle that saves the world is to act

Caught between fear and ‘feverish hope’, the inmates in the (Warsaw) ghetto were paralysed. The truth of ‘resettlement’ and the world’s silence led to a kind of fatalism. Only when they gave up hope and let go of fear, Arendt argues, did they realise that ‘armed resistance was the only moral and political way out’.
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For Arendt, the emergence of totalitarianism in the middle of the 20th century meant that one could no longer count on common sense or human decency, moral norms or ethical imperatives. The law mandated mass murder and could not be looked to for guidance on how to act. The tradition of Western political thought broke, and Plato’s axiom – that it is better to suffer harm than to do harm – was reversed.
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The most basic human experiences, such as love, loss, desire, fear, hope and loneliness, were instrumentalised by fascist propaganda to sway the masses. But Arendt could not be swayed. And in the darkest hour of her life, as she contemplated suicide in an internment camp, she decided she loved life too much to give it up. She did not hope for rescue or redemption. She understood herself to be caught in between the ‘no-longer’ and the ‘not-yet’, in between past and future.
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Before Arendt was forced to abandon her academic career and flee Nazi Germany in 1933, she published her dissertation on Love and Saint Augustine. Written before the war at the University of Heidelberg under the direction of the existential philosopher and psychologist Karl Jaspers, Arendt offers a secular reading of Augustine’s conceptions of love. In Augustine’s concept of caritas, or neighbourly love, Arendt found a way of being toward the world and the root of political action and human freedom where love of the world has the power to create new beginnings.
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Arendt’s secular reading of Augustine reconciles his understanding of a Christian hope for life after death with her own understanding of worldliness. Whereas Augustine sought immortality in the afterlife, Arendt argues that there is only immortality in a person’s political actions on this earth. All that remains after we die are the stories others will tell about what we have done
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I like this podcast series BBC Sounds - The Power of Negative Thinking - Available Episodes especially episode 2: Abandon Hope - a dour scotsman talks about negative thinking leading to positive action: -

Jim Trodden has recently retired, after decades as a safety supervisor on North Sea oil rigs. In this harshest of workplace environments, merely hoping for good outcomes, or remaining positive, was inherently to invite disaster. Instead, Jim describes his dominant offshore mindset as one of ‘chronic unease’. Constantly and vividly envisaging the worst possible outcome of every scenario was a key tool in helping to prevent disaster and - potentially - saving thousands of lives.
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Puddy_Tat said:
as in

ratracepolyp.jpg
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There used to be a squatted building in Southampton that had 'Happiness is just around the corner' painted on it, and the writing literally went around a 120 degree angle ('Happiness...' on one wall, then 'is just around the corner' round the corner), where the building was shaped to fit a bend in the road. Loved that building and it's message, and I always wished I'd taken a photo of it.
 
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