being bullied at work

[dolly's gal]

hi there

am currently experiencing extreme bullying at work, which is causing me fairly serious physical and psychological side-effects. I have gone down the grievance route with a previous bullying claim, and since then it's got significantly worse.

i am at a bit of a loss as to what to do. the boss in question is highly manipulative and skilled in making it look like she's the most reasonable, supportive manager in the world, making me out to be a a neurotic trouble-maker.

i walked out again this morning in tears, saying i was ill. i am ill, it's making me ill. the union never answer their phone, or call me back when i leave messages (i am a member) and HR are unbelievably unsupportive, only caring really about protecting the organisation. its been going on for three months now, is relentless and i feel ground down by it all.

however, i am not giving up without a fight. so, i know for a fact that she sends nasty, manipulative, obstructive, lying emails about me to senior colleagues, consultants and clients. could i, under the data protection act, ask to have copies of these? this is the only way i can prove what she's doing, but i cant say how i know about the emails because this would get someone else in deep shit. and if she deletes them from her outlook, could i reasonably asked for them to be retrieved somehow?

thanks in advance

 

[Jon-of-arc]

FFS, sorry to hear this. The people to speak to are the information commissioners office. You can call them direct and they can advise on the data protection act. Looking at the key principles on wiki, you should have a right to ask for any info stored about you on an electronic system, as per the following...

Data must not be disclosed to other parties without the consent of the individual whom it is about, unless there is legislation or other overriding legitimate reason to share the information (for example, the prevention or detection of crime). It is an offence for Other Parties to obtain this personal data without authorisation.
Individuals have a right of access to the information held about them, subject to certain exceptions (for example, information held for the prevention or detection of crime).

I am pretty sure it isn't always that simple, though. Good luck with it, whatever. x

 

[dolly's gal]

thanks jon. its all so fucking time consuming as well. it's such hard work to prove it's happening, that it's actually almost impossible. most cases aren't upheld i'm sure. is sickening really, that bullies get away with ruining people's lives and that organisations are so spineless when it comes to tackling it

 

[kyser_soze]

and if she deletes them from her outlookp

Unless she's on very good terms with your IT admins (good enough that they'd be willing to break the law for her), even if she deletes her entire outlook archive, the emails will still be on the server, and/or backed up somewhere.

 

[Jon-of-arc]

Keep on the case with the union, make sure the grievances get followed up to conclusion, get applying for something else, accept you can't win 'em all and bugger off elsewhere with your chin up & head held high. Nothing is worth the kind of unhappiness related to workplace bullying, certainly not a monthly salary.

 

[zenie]

Yeh but sometimes you just can't bear to see the fuckers win Jon

How good terms are you on with your IT team dollface? Could be worth seeking legal advice, but make the union sort that bit out, you pay them their money, get them on the case.

Good luck, sorry I can't be of any more help then that

 

[Jon-of-arc]

also, porn spam her work outlook, plant drugs on her desk and send an email to the police CCing her boss, carrot up her exhaust pipe (not a euphemism), spit in her coffee, hate her whole family.

 

[dolly's gal]

zenie, exactly. that bitch could walk all over me in stiletto heals for a year, i ain't going down without a fight. that's what she wants. on fairly good terms with IT, but i'd need to request the emails legitimately to use them in a tribunal.

and jon, all of what you say, plus violence and death

 

[yardbird]

and jon, all of what you say, plus violence and slow death

Corrected for you>

All the best.

 

[editor]

If it hasn't already been suggested, make sure you keep a record of every incident.

 

[porno thieving gypsy]

What was the outcome of the first grievance? Assume it was with the same manager?

 

[Citizen66]

Where does she socialize?

Get a flash mob of 'unconnected' people to show up and them spend the night ripping the piss mercilessly. Satisfaction points.

 

[DrRingDing]

It's a company and they really don't give a fuck about you. So, unless she's damaging the company they won't give a fuck. If she slating you to clients then that is an issue they may care about.

Although any evidence that's been dodgily obtained (from a friendly techie, i guess) is not going to hold water.

If you're shop steward is ignoring you then go above their head and find someone else.

The main thing to do is keep a detailed diary of her behaviour.

Are you chummy with her boss?

 

[Numbers]

If it hasn't already been suggested, make sure you keep a record of every incident.

^^ this

HR will always protect the company first and foremost IME.

Nothing really to add except good luck with it Dolly, have seen it happen first hand and it's not a pleasant thing at all.

 

[Citizen66]

Yeah HR will protect the company but they also have to be seen to be taking workplace harassment seriously. Maybe they think they can get away with whatever if the union is a bit crap. I'd speak directly with the union's full time officials if the rep is crap as suggested above.

 

[dolly's gal]

thanks guys. she's a serial bully, been wreaking havoc in the organisation (a big charity that makes a big thing about being anti-bullying as it goes) for years. she's recently been made redundant as part of a restructure, and has had to reapply for her post. i am praying that her HR file (which must take up an entire room) and the fact that she must cost the HR team literally thousands in terms of sorting her fuck ups out, will mean she is not part of the new structure. we find out soon. i am kinda holding out on next steps until i know what the outcome of that is. my first greivance against her was "partly upheld", and although it was investigated at a very senior level, it wasn't investigated fully. she's a liability, they would be mental to give her the job. fingers crossed people

 

[Jon-of-arc]

still a good chance, then? don't even think of losing hope. She could be gone by the end of the year.

 

[rekil]

Can you merge my bullying thread with this ta. More or less the same issues.

 

[dolly's gal]

oh will have a look copkiller. hope youre ok

 

[Citizen66]

The other thing i'd try and push for is for the mole to search their conscience and present the offending emails. It is the duty of an employee to report harassment regardless of whether they're the recepient. Silence is as good as collaborating in the behaviour.

Might be worth pointing out that they could get disciplined for being part of correspondence that they then failed to report.

 

[dolly's gal]

the mole is her PA and a good friend. so breach of confidentiality, and big repercussions. if she'd been interviewed as part of my first grievance as she should have been she would have disclosed certain things. however, if boss gets job, then PA is going down grievance route as she is also being bullied by her

 

[Citizen66]

Oh I assumed mole was recepient.

 

[Stobart Stopper]

So sorry to hear this, a similar thing is being done to a young girl I work with and it's been awful for her. Hope this gets resolved soon. You must feel like shit.

 

[_angel_]

thanks guys. she's a serial bully, been wreaking havoc in the organisation (a big charity that makes a big thing about being anti-bullying as it goes) for years. she's recently been made redundant as part of a restructure, and has had to reapply for her post. i am praying that her HR file (which must take up an entire room) and the fact that she must cost the HR team literally thousands in terms of sorting her fuck ups out, will mean she is not part of the new structure. we find out soon. i am kinda holding out on next steps until i know what the outcome of that is. my first greivance against her was "partly upheld", and although it was investigated at a very senior level, it wasn't investigated fully. she's a liability, they would be mental to give her the job. fingers crossed people

Hope she doesn't carry on working there. This sounds shit. I think I would be planning some kind of secret revenge against her myself! Good luck.

 

[Streathamite]

every unreasonable request she makes of you, or general bit of nastiness, ask her to put it in writing, so she either has to back off or incriminate herself

 

[dolly's gal]

Hope she doesn't carry on working there. This sounds shit. I think I would be planning some kind of secret revenge against her myself! Good luck.

believe me, it's been fucking tempting. not only is she a bully, but she does stuff like spend thousands of pounds of charity funds to her own gain. the idea of setting up a holy moly style anon twitter with stuff like:

"which head of **************** partnerships of a well known ******** charity recently spent £**K having her CV updated??"

very tempting and i shit you not. i have so much dirt on her, but only via unorthodox means

 

[where to]

every unreasonable request she makes of you, or general bit of nastiness, ask her to put it in writing, so she either has to back off or incriminate herself

if she refuses then email her setting out the unreasonable request asking confirmation that she wants you to proceed with this action.

email is very powerful if utilised effectively.

 

[dolly's gal]

if she refuses then email her setting out the unreasonable request asking confirmation that she wants you to proceed with this action.

email is very powerful if utilised effectively.

she's not so stupid. she's a seasoned bully. before i was in her bad books, she practically gave me lessons on managing people out unofficially. she's done it so often. she plays by the rules. nothing incriminating ever gets put in email

 

[dolly's gal]

and she will pleasantly agree to things in email and never follow any of the requests up

 

[Divisive Cotton]

thanks guys. she's a serial bully, been wreaking havoc in the organisation (a big charity that makes a big thing about being anti-bullying as it goes) for years. she's recently been made redundant as part of a restructure, and has had to reapply for her post. i am praying that her HR file (which must take up an entire room) and the fact that she must cost the HR team literally thousands in terms of sorting her fuck ups out, will mean she is not part of the new structure. we find out soon. i am kinda holding out on next steps until i know what the outcome of that is. my first greivance against her was "partly upheld", and although it was investigated at a very senior level, it wasn't investigated fully. she's a liability, they would be mental to give her the job. fingers crossed people

sorry to hear about your problems - how long do you have to wait?