Thanks for the encouragement, everyone. Libertad - that's shit! Celt - thanks for the support.
I typed my post in a word.doc first so that I could edit it and keep it as short as possible, but it still goes on a bit, sorry. Greebo - VP's situation is worse than mine, by the sound of it, but here goes -
I’ve been struggling with anxiety and depression for several years, and two of the problems relating to that are –
1) Travelling on public transport when I need to arrive at a particular time – this becomes even worse when I’m going somewhere I’ve never been before;
2) Speaking to strangers on the phone, especially about something important.
Yesterday I was supposed to go to hospital for surgery. Not life-or-death stuff – it’s a lump on my jaw which is benign, but they wanted to remove it for preventative reasons. Unfortunately the hospital I had to go to is in a town I’ve never been to before, and I had to be there by 11am. It involves three bus journeys, and when I checked the details online it turned out to be quite complicated. I CANNOT do this on my own, and there is no-one who can go with me. I would end up sitting on a pavement in a strange town, crying.
So last week I tried to find out about getting patient transport. It went like this -
Phone number 1 – the number on the hospital letter. They asked a few questions and decided that I was eligible for the transport on mental health grounds, but they couldn’t organise it because I don’t live in their area. They gave me another number to phone.
Phone number 2 – they couldn’t help, and gave me a different number.
Phone number 3 – they asked the same questions as before, but this time said I was not eligible for the transport. Apparently my mental health problems were not ‘severe’. When I asked what was meant by ‘severe’, I was told ‘dementia’. By this point I was extremely distressed, but all I got was “there’s nothing I can do”.
My Mum decided to ring someone to find out what else I could do. (I’m 55, by the way, I’m not a kid, so this in itself makes me feel useless). She gave me a number she was given, which I called the next day –
Phone number 4 – they asked the same questions, said I was eligible for patient transport, but told me someone else had to deal with it. This time they passed my details on so that I didn’t have to make the call myself.
Phone number 5 – they phoned me, asked the same questions, said I was eligible for the transport, but I would have to phone someone else – phone number 2.
Phone number 2 again – surprise! They couldn’t help, I would have to call phone number 3.
At this point I gave up. I made one more call, to the hospital, to cancel my surgery.
This doesn’t really convey the stress and anxiety that was caused by all these phone calls – you’ll just have to take my word for that. This isn’t about excuses to avoid surgery - I am not afraid of that, I’m not even afraid of the dentist. I had a root canal a while back and it didn’t bother me in the least. This is purely about the anxiety involved in a complicated journey to a place I’ve never been to before, not to mention feeling like a ‘phone football’, despite telling each person that I have anxiety problems when using the phone.
In a way, maybe it is an ATOS-related issue. I know I’ll have to go through another assessment sooner or later, and this is going straight onto my next form as an example of my anxiety problems. Whether that’ll make a blind bit of difference to the so-called ‘medical professional’ – well, I’m not putting any money on it.
(((WouldBe)))
anyway sod her, however I am remembering and noting these and am going to go back to these when I have sorted out this WRAG/Support Group business. I am on the waiting list to see the mental health advocate, but have decided to put my letter together and start the ball rolling, partly because I cannot wake up each day with the fear in the pit of my stomache,
) side when it comes to these things.
