Annoying Adverts 2018

[Mrs Miggins]

"Everything was louder in the 80s" says Rita Ora...."the music, the looks and the lip colour"

Eh? The lip colour? Yeah those 3 things specifically.

 

[Mrs Miggins]

That bloody John Lewis/Waitrose Bohemian Rhapsody fucking AAAAAAARGH MAKE IT STOP

 

[hippogriff]

What sort of idiot thinks that this shit would actually encourage you to hire a car from Sixt. Especially considering that ime they are shit

 

[felixthecat]

That fucking Lloyd's one with the horses on the beach fills me with unaccountable rage.

It's just... arrgh, kill

 

[fucthest8]

That fucking Lloyd's one with the horses on the beach fills me with unaccountable rage.

It's just... arrgh, kill

Cuddly wuddly bank is here to help! Look we even have a person with Down's*, see how caring we are!


*Brilliant poster where I used to work "Calm down, it's only an extra chromasome"

 

[gentlegreen]

I can't find the more recent one I keep being shown on Youtube ...

I'm nudging 60 now and it's a constant mystery as to at what point I develop a liking for doyleys and sandwiches with the corners cut off ...

 

[Epona]

This is going to be a load of sour grapes from me (I have admitted it and don't want to be given shit about it), but the Emilia Clarke perfume advert - yes she looks wonderful. Apparently she can sing like a dream too - and I am not going to lie, I am sour about it. I can sing really well too, but I look like a red-faced granny, so I am never going to get any recognition for it.

It's a mix of I admire her
I fancy her
I hate her for being better looking and sounding better than me, and young still
But if I walked past her in the street and she said hi to me I would be stoked
- it's not necessarily a great way to sell perfume.
- I don't want a perfume that reminds me of someone so fucking perfect.

If a bloke bought me that perfume I would think he wanted her, not me. She is perfect and is selling it to him to buy for me as runner up. They are buying it cos they are thinking about her.

 

[Idaho]

If a bloke bought me that perfume I would think he wanted her, not me. She is perfect and is selling it to him to buy for me as runner up. They are buying it cos they are thinking about her.

I can only think of two scenarios where a bloke would give that perfume:

1 - when it was specifically requested
2 - when in confused desperation, said bloke randomly picked a perfume that seemed well known/not too naff.

 

[Idaho]

I love this thread. My constant advert rage drives ms Idaho nuts

 

[T & P]

Kind of a derail I guess, but could someone explain in a few words what’s so good about all those fucking funeral plans? I know that one has to commit for life and would lose the lot if the policy is cancelled, which sounds pretty shit to me.

Perhaps if one is already in their 70s it might work out, but someone in their 60s or 50s surely sticking £30 or £40 a month in an ISA or savings account would accumulate enough funds to cover one’s funeral within a few years, and crucially the money is yours to do as you please otherwise.

 

[scifisam]

Kind of a derail I guess, but could someone explain in a few words what’s so good about all those fucking funeral plans? I know that one has to commit for life and would lose the lot if the policy is cancelled, which sounds pretty shit to me.

Perhaps if one is already in their 70s it might work out, but someone in their 60s or 50s surely sticking £30 or £40 a month in an ISA or savings account would accumulate enough funds to cover one’s funeral within a few years, and crucially the money is yours to do as you please otherwise.

The Co-Op ones aren't for life. You can either pay the whole cost upfront or pay it gradually over time on a sort of hire purchase basis (obviously you pay more overall if you pay it over time, say as with any HP payment plan). But the price you pay per month doesn't increase over time, like the actual costs of a funeral do, so that's the main advantage - it would work out at a way, way higher interest rate than an ISA because ISAs are about 1% and funeral costs increase by something like 20% annually. Also it means some of the arrangements are made and the payments for them sorted before you die, so your relatives don't have to deal with it. I'd get one if I could afford it.

 

[Epona]

Kind of a derail I guess, but could someone explain in a few words what’s so good about all those fucking funeral plans? I know that one has to commit for life and would lose the lot if the policy is cancelled, which sounds pretty shit to me.

Perhaps if one is already in their 70s it might work out, but someone in their 60s or 50s surely sticking £30 or £40 a month in an ISA or savings account would accumulate enough funds to cover one’s funeral within a few years, and crucially the money is yours to do as you please otherwise.

No just don't - stick a bit of cash in a bank account every month if you are worried about your kids having to pay for your funeral - that is usually a better deal than a funeral plan or over 50s life insurance type thing. Daytime telly is full of horrors, if it isn't the shadow of imminent death and parsnips then it is incontinence pads.

 

[Mrs Miggins]

For daytime TV is dark and full of terrors

 

[ska invita]

Theres a Nescafe ad using the term "frothy coffee" Owen Smith shouldve got a copyright on that, wouldve made it all worthwhile im sure

 

[gentlegreen]

Further to the hideous Stannah adverts ...

As I approach 60, I'm wondering if there will come a point when I'm magically going to want to live in a massive block with rooms full of armchairs ... albeit in a modern style ..

 

[A380]

Kind of a derail I guess, but could someone explain in a few words what’s so good about all those fucking funeral plans? I know that one has to commit for life and would lose the lot if the policy is cancelled, which sounds pretty shit to me.

Perhaps if one is already in their 70s it might work out, but someone in their 60s or 50s surely sticking £30 or £40 a month in an ISA or savings account would accumulate enough funds to cover one’s funeral within a few years, and crucially the money is yours to do as you please otherwise.

You get a FREE Parker Pen !!!! Not just any pen but a PARKER pen!

 

[gentlegreen]

Living alone as I do, life insurance and funeral plans are pointless.
What I probably ought to do eventually is wear some telemetry at all times - tied-in with other activity data and have it send an email when I snuff it ...

 

[twentythreedom]

Are you gonna bingo?

No, fuck off. And it's The Sun *spits*

 

[felixthecat]

Are you gonna bingo?

No, fuck off. And it's The Sun *spits*

This one sends my daughter into a seething cursing rage.

Which of course makes me sing it a lot

 

[gentlegreen]

And another age-related one with people my age being embarassing - only marginally less weird than the Stannah adverts