Your house rules

[Thora]

I don't buy anything, give to charity, accept Jesus or loft insulation from anyone coming to the door. That's kind of a house rule.

 

[Addy]

No smoking in the house.
No food in bedrooms.
No dog in bedrooms.
Help yourself to my homebrew only when its offered.

 

[weltweit]

No smoking inside - use the garden
On no account are you permitted to turn the loo roll so that it faces the wall

 

[Firky]

No smoking tobacco in the house and no dirty / wet shoes, no pets in bedrooms (rubbishly enforced).

Hot drinks on coasters cos I hate ring marks

 

[tarannau]

i'd like to think nothing really, but I generally shiver at the prospect of others handling the rarer vinyl or the most treasured kitchen knives.

 

[lizzieloo]

No CD tidying

An old mate of my O/H used to do this

 

[kittyP]

no tories.

This is a good one too.

 

[beesonthewhatnow]

No smoking, no ketamine, touch aqua 's gin you'll die.

 

[Ms T]

No smoking and no cats on the kitchen surfaces.

 

[Part 2]

We only really need to have rules for the kid's friends.

No football in the house
No shoes upstairs
Smoke outside
No Ketamine
Don't take the piss.
Wake me up when I've got work in the morning and you get 10 minutes to get out.

 

[Zapp Brannigan]

If you want to drink my booze, bring booze. You may help yourself to any of my booze, replacement booze doesn't have to be to the same standard as the booze of mine you're drinking, but I must never run out of booze due to the gluttony of others.

Booze.

 

[UnderOpenSky]

No smoking. Don't be a dick. No mucky shoes.

Are you forced outside for a J?

 

[killer b]

my house does rule tbf. thanks for saying.

 

[moose]

No kids, no dogs. It's too dangerous in here.
And you must put sturdy shoes on to come in.

 

[Thimble Queen]

Shoes off in the flat.

Replace stuff BEFORE it runs out.

Don't be a cunt, especially not to my cat.

 

[TheHoodedClaw]

I'd prefer shoes off, but I don't really care all that much.

You can smoke in my house if you want. I do, and there's enough ashtrays on every flat surface. Make sure you use one of the ashtrays. There's one right next to the bog for fucks sake, if you're flicking it into the sink I'm not happy.

If you borrow a book or a DVD, I'd kind of like it back at some point.

 

[Thimble Queen]

Err yeah tealight holders aren't ashtrays!!

 

[purenarcotic]

Don't really have any tbh. The cat isn't allowed on work surfaces or the dining table, but she's never made attempts to go on them anyway.

Smoking inside is fine, we do. Not when small children are present though.

 

[Shirl]

No rules at all here.

 

[moomoo]

No smoking. No shoes inside. No food in bedrooms (unless you are a teenage boy and then going by the amount of crisp packets under the bed, crisps aren't technically 'food'). No punching. Be kind to each other. Do NOT open the door to Jehovah's. put laundry IN the basket and not on top of it or on the floor next to it. Ditto with rubbish.

God, I'm a right harriden!

 

[Corax]

Mandatory nudity. No exceptions. Even the guy who comes to read the meter.

 

[weepiper]

No smoking. No shoes inside. No food in bedrooms (unless you are a teenage boy and then going by the amount of crisp packets under the bed, crisps aren't technically 'food'). No punching. Be kind to each other. Do NOT open the door to Jehovah's. put laundry IN the basket and not on top of it or on the floor next to it. Ditto with rubbish.

God, I'm a right harriden!

No demands that I sort fights out unless there is actual blood.

 

[Pickman's model]

• All players must be at least 18 years of age.
• Smoking is prohibited in the Poker Room.
• Seating is done with a sign-up list. Permission is required before taking a seat in a game. Management will decide when to start or close a game, also the limit of the game.
• No short buy-ins are allowed.
• Cash is not permitted on the table. All cash must be changed into chips in order to play.
• The English-only rule will be enforced at and around all tables. Players who violate this rule are subject to ejection from the Poker Room.
• In Limit games, one bet and three raises are allowed. In No-limit games, unlimited raises are allowed.
• When switching tables, all buy-in requirements for that game limit must be followed unless coming from a broken game of the same limit.
• The House extends NO CREDIT.
• Check and raise is allowed.
• No side bets are permitted.
• Insurance propositions are not allowed.
• “Splashing the pot” is PROHIBITED.
• Only one person may play a hand. You may not play another player’s chips.
• Players are responsible to protect their own hand and their right to action AT ALL TIMES. Any irregularities must immediately be brought to management’s attention BEFORE the next deal.
• Splitting pots will not be allowed in any game. Chopping the big and small blind by taking them back when all other players have folded is allowed in button games.
• String bets or raises are not permitted.
• Cards speak for themselves when properly tabled at the showdown.
• Players may not expose their cards during the play of a hand, whether intentional or not. Doing so can result in ejection from the Poker Room.
• Players, in the hand or not, may not discuss the hands until the action is complete. Doing so can result in ejection from the Poker Room.
• Criticism of how other players have elected to play their hand or their general style of play is impolite, undesirable, and will not be tolerated.
• The House has the right to prohibit any two or more players from playing at the same table.
• All chips must be kept in full view of the dealer and other players at the table. Higher-denomination chips must be in front or on top of lower-denomination chips.
• No chip racks are allowed on the table, unless approved by Management.
• Spectators are not allowed at or around the tables at any time.
• Players are expected to dress and behave like ladies and gentlemen. The House will not tolerate profanity or trash talking.
• Management reserves the right to make decisions in the spirit of fairness and good faith, and in the best interest of the game.
• The House has the right to alter, change, or cancel the rules and policy of a game or promotion at any time.
• Abuse to other guests or poker room staff will not be tolerated at any time.
• All decisions of Management are FINAL.

 

[Greebo]

I wish I had the strength to do this but I'm a push over and want to be friendly.<snip>

See, this is another time that the door grille comes in handy. I never come to the door first time with keys in my hand, as the grille can be talked through and smaller/narrower items can be passed through it. If I don't let 'em in. I don't have to get rid of 'em later.

BTW the rules - don't wear VP out (it makes far too much extra work for me), don't remind either of us that as far as you're concerned we're hard up, no mention of miracle cures, no smoking in the flat, no nicking books, no looking at the occult library and then tutting that we've got one at all, and no onions unless you also remove them with you.

Come to think of it, all of that comes under "don't be a dick".

 

[UrbaneFox]

After a while I scream at my neighbour when he lights another cigarette, and insist "That is your last one".

 

[Corax]

No heavy petting.

 

[renegadechicken]

Only a couple
unless you inform me of your visit to my home you are gonna have a long lonely wait for the door to be answered
the same one regarding dogs as pingu......they live here you don't..no they will not be moved out of your way, you will adapt or leave
non smokers...fuck off and stand outside whilst i smoke it's my fucking house (pet hate)
you will be asked to leave if you annoy me or my dogs in the slightest or the dogs take a dislike to you

other than that i'm pretty easy going

 

[lizzieloo]

No bombing

 

[Frances Lengel]

No heavy petting.

And no running, pushing, smoking, ducking, bombing etc?



E2a that fucking lizzieloo beat me to it

 

[cdg]

I remember seeing those signs as a kid an not knowing what heavy petting was.