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Work trip tips for introverts

miss direct

miss direct

misfungled
Next week it’s our annual work jolly. I work for a publishing company and every spring we take a few hundred teachers to a posh all inclusive hotel in a resort. In the day time there’s some seminars and the rest of the time is “Free”, but we are expected to mingle and socialise.

I’m dreading it. It’s from Thursday till Sunday and I have to share a room, am expected to eat all meals with others and basically just be around people all the time. I live on my own and like my own space. Just wondering if anyone has any advice to stop me from having a meltdown?

I’m already stressed and exhausted. Barely been at home in weeks due to work.

How much am I going to get away with sneaking off to be alone? Or perhaps I should hit the all inclusive bar to make me more willing to be sociable?
 
miss direct said:
Next week it’s our annual work jolly. I work for a publishing company and every spring we take a few hundred teachers to a posh all inclusive hotel in a resort. In the day time there’s some seminars and the rest of the time is “Free”, but we are expected to mingle and socialise.

I’m dreading it. It’s from Thursday till Sunday and I have to share a room, am expected to eat all meals with others and basically just be around people all the time. I live on my own and like my own space. Just wondering if anyone has any advice to stop me from having a meltdown?

I’m already stressed and exhausted how much am I going to get away with sneaking off to be alone? Or perhaps I should hit the all inclusive bar to make me more willing to be sociable?
Click to expand...
Send an email out asking who else is introverted.
Specify that
1. You are looking for a room share on the understanding that you'll ignore each other the whole time. Possibility of a Room mate agreement contract with penalties for talking or making eye contact (Sheldon Cooper might be able to send you a draft).
2. You are looking for enough people to fill a table where you can all just stare at your phone's all night.

Group introversion. Team building brownie points for assembling a shared interest group.
 
Would it be possible to inform somebody at work that you actually do need a bit of time to yourself in a serious manner?
You could perhaps negotiate your participation with some built-in off time?
Of course that would presume some enlightened and sensitive employers.
 
Sympathy miss direct . Last weekend was my sisters hen weekend (constant company including sharing a room) and i found it really hard work as expected. Even just 10 minute breaks alone going for small walk helps though, so i recommend doing that, nobody will notice and you at least get a breather.
 
I don’t think that would go down well in this culture. (I mean being open about it). May feign work.

I’m visualising myself skipping meals or going at awkward times just to avoid people. Lunch and dinner I can do with others but early breakfasts, I just want to think and read the news and not have to talk or listen to anyone.
 
miss direct said:
You know what else, we don’t even get to choose who we share with. (Although being given the choice would also be rather like being at school and being the last to be picked for a team).
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Just say no. That's really not okay. Maybe no-one has pointed it out before. You won't be the only one who dislikes the room sharing.
 
It’s a five star hotel and very expensive, so I’m not willing to pay. We had a similar trip a few months ago (but in house only) - the colleague I shared with only came to the room to sleep at about 3/4am as she was out drinking. I could cope sharing with her again, I suppose.
 
If I had to share I’d definitely say no. Fuck that. The last work trip I went on my room was my only refuge from the cunts I was working with out there. Load up on duty free if you’re going abroad that is and get loaded in the room before attempting to mingle.
 
miss direct said:
It’s a five star hotel and very expensive, so I’m not willing to pay. We had a similar trip a few months ago (but in house only) - the colleague I shared with only came to the room to sleep at about 3/4am as she was out drinking. I could cope sharing with her again, I suppose.
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Hahaha, love it. “We’re going to put you up in a 5 star hotel but as a cost saving exercise we’re going to make you share a room.
 
Just researching the hotel. I never choose huge all inclusives myself (prefer small family run places and eating out) but it does look rather spectacular. Right on the beach, and it has a sushi bar, bowling, spa and indoor pool as well as outdoor. Maybe it won’t be so bad.
 
Being made to share a room should be illegal, but at least it is likely to be empty during the day or in the early evening. Saying just after the main events finish "I'm really tired, I'm going to go back to my room, big day tomorrow, I'll see you at 9 in the lobby" and going - you can't hang around or people will try to persuade you and get others to help, you have to be pretty firm - usually works IME.

I also just randomly walk out when I need a break and wander around the area. In a conference with hundreds of people it's unlikely you'll be missed. Don't say anything to anyone, just go then come back.

I find it can also help to get up early; this gives you some personal time. I always try to have at least half an hour before the day starts walking the local area with my camera.
 
Reiabuzz said:
Load up on duty free if you’re going abroad that is and get loaded in the room before attempting to mingle.
Click to expand...

Not abroad but in Turkey. I live in turkey so not abroad for us :) it’s all inclusive though so can drink as much as I like.

Im not very good with alcohol though. Last year I had a similar trip but just for one night. I got drunk on my own and cried.
 
I reckon not drinking loads might be best plan tbh, would mean you get more time to yourself, incl the quiet of early morning, and also other people are even harder to tolerate when you're hungover.
 
I’m not quitting my job. They’ve got me a two year work permit and I get a good salary (well, for Turkey). And I actually do really like my job, there’s just some aspects I don’t.
 
bimble said:
I reckon not drinking loads might be best plan tbh, would mean you get more time to yourself, incl the quiet of early morning, and also other people are even harder to tolerate when you're hungover.
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I agree - I usually just stick to one or two drinks at most and then do the tired thing. Getting drunk to cope with situations you hate rarely works well IME, and being hungover for the next day of things you hate is even worse.

I’m a big fan of leisurely cocktail sessions in hotel bars on my own, pretending (to myself) to be some sort of sophisticated international traveller, but you need a few uninterrupted hours for that.
 
The room sharing is bullshit. You are supposed to be adults.

If it was me i’d be Asking why the brass get single rooms when they give you an unsuitable answer tell them you would like one or you are dissapointed and may have to knock the trip with all it’s benefits to you and the organisation on the head.

No one can make you eat or socialise or drink with people. If you “have to” do what I do, turn up show face watch the amateur drinkers slide into their own little worlds talking about work and brown nosing then slip off. No one will notice you they are all to preoccupied.

I live and work communally so tips for not eating with other people are fairly straight forward, just don’t go to the restaurant the minute it’s open which is what most people do, especially when it’s paid for, take the time to chill out and saunter down later when they have all buggered of.

Alternatively just sit as far away from everyone so that to approach you to sit down is socially uncomfortable for anyone :D you may get the duty “social” social worker take pity on you and come over to make you feel included. Fortunately they’ll realise you are fine acting independently and won’t do it again

Not needing validation From being in a group is one of the most liberating things I have in my life. And it doesn’t mean you don’t contribute, just do it in your own way.

A nice side effect is that people are a bit edgy/uncomfortable/envious/suspicious of your unilateral attitude which puts you in quite a strong position :thumbs::thumbs:

Or get shitfaced at the first opportunity and call a naked bar
 
Perhaps they would rather have their own rooms, but I can guarantee that for the sales guys (the majority of employees), the annual trip is a highlight of their year. They get to escape their families and work and show off/drink/pose for Instagram photos in one of the poshest hotels in the country. They can cope with sharing a room.
 
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