Why the Guardian is going down the pan!

[seventh bullet]

Fuckers are taking our accents now.

It's nothing new.

It doesn't work so well on the people they're appropriating though, does it? The Middle Class Twat detector quickly beeps.

 

[ViolentPanda]

Glass of cider at 7am. Boy's a workers.

Glass of water with some cider vinegar in it. Boy's a full-on twat.

 

[Idris2002]

Does he slaughter the emu himself?

Emus aren't real, silly.

 

[DaveCinzano]

Emu's aren't real, silly.

What are they, then, hullographic illusions?

 

[Idris2002]

What are they, then, hullographic illusions?

Have a care Mr. Cinzano, if I fire this rod it'll be curtains for you.

 

[JTG]

Have a care Mr. Cinzano, if I fire this rod it'll be curtains for you.

There's no need to hit the roof and slate him

 

[Dogsauce]

From the jobs section:

You will be a forward thinking, polished and well-spoken graduate-level Administrator or PA with at least a years’ experience and looking for the next career step within a lively and dynamic company. You will be working in a male dominated environment so must have the gravitas to deal with big personalities and banter!

http://jobs.theguardian.com/job/5980452/ict-administrator-corporate-communications-london-wc2/

 

[butchersapron]

From the jobs section:



http://jobs.theguardian.com/job/5980452/ict-administrator-corporate-communications-london-wc2/

Fan-tastic. Yet:

alongside an intellectually stimulating yet non-hierarchical culture

Someone actually ok-ed that. In a male dominated environment with intellectually stimulating yet non-hierarchical culture with big personalities and banter! . That was ok-ed I wonder how.

edit: is a footlights environment? Is that what they mean?

 

[teqniq]

Car-crash advertising.

 

[killer b]

wow. that's basically saying you'll be sexually harassed daily and expected to laugh it off doesn't it?

 

[teqniq]

pretty much

 

[butchersapron]

wow. that's basically saying you'll be sexually harassed daily and expected to laugh it off doesn't it?

Yes.

Good spot dogsauce.

 

[butchersapron]

wow. that's basically saying you'll be sexually harassed daily and expected to laugh it off doesn't it?

But in a intellectually stimulating yet non-hierarchical culture.

 

[frogwoman]

And with gravitas

 

[oryx]

From the jobs section:



http://jobs.theguardian.com/job/5980452/ict-administrator-corporate-communications-london-wc2/

Too damn right, !

Not that they want to stereotype/pigeonhole the applicant or anything......so if you have a local accent, or are a bit shy but competent, or even - heaven forfend! - object to bullying and -isms (that's how I read 'big personalities & banter')- YOU'RE FUCKED!!!!

 

[frogwoman]

A male dominated environment ffs

 

[frogwoman]

God it sounds awful.

 

[butchersapron]

well-spoken.

That literally just means private school - and it's a technical job. Well, booking diary stuff.

(Just so we all know, this isn't a job at the guardian, it's one they're happy to sell though)

Ringing people up and that:

You will be providing support to the Director of ICT, scheduling meetings and calls, placing orders and documenting receipts, assisting with invoices, recording holiday and sick leave for the team, organising training, liaising with recruitment agencies for any hiring needs, booking flights and travel, processing expenses and general admin duties to ensure the smooth running of the team

 

[oryx]

Totally incomprehensible that they want a graduate for scheduling meetings and processing invoices etc. Why not just any competent person........oh, hang on a minute, they may be older, or male, or not well-spoken. The latter bit really makes me . Is it code for English as a first language?

 

[DaveCinzano]

And with gravitas

I think that might be a typo and they meant to put

And with gravadlax

 

[DotCommunist]

Totally incomprehensible that they want a graduate for scheduling meetings and processing invoices etc. Why not just any competent person........oh, hang on a minute, they may be older, or male, or not well-spoken. The latter bit really makes me . Is it code for English as a first language?

they mean regional accents need not apply

 

[Idris2002]

Ahhh

And with gravitas

Ahhh, bisto!

 

[Pickman's model]

a big article about how to eat toast http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2014/dec/09/how-to-eat-toast

one might almost think that guardian readers can't cook.

 

[DotCommunist]

they already ran a how to cook toast article some months back.

Next it'll be an article on how to make pot noodle

 

[DaveCinzano]

a big article about how to eat toast http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2014/dec/09/how-to-eat-toast

one might almost think that guardian readers can't cook.

they already ran a how to cook toast article some months back.

Indeed - post #3116.

Still, if I was offered cash money to churn out nearly two thousand words on how to eat toast, I would shake a few adjectives and adverbs out the thesaurus for it. Would definitely submit it with someone else's head shot attached, though.

 

[fractionMan]

Christmas on a budget: the Skint Foodie’s six-week plan
If money is tight, you can still enjoy a festive feast with careful planning and these shopping tips and recipes from the award-winning food blogger

fucking hell. Another planet

Saying that, I remember his blog being decent not shite like that guardian piece.

 

[butchersapron]

They have a Women in Leadership section. Really. I'm not making this up.

Today's offering:

Don’t pretend you’re angry with YouTube star Zoe Sugg for her lack of candour – you’re just jealous that she’s smarter, richer and more famous than you

 

[Pickman's model]

Indeed - post #3116.

Still, if I was offered cash money to churn out nearly two thousand words on how to eat toast, I would shake a few adjectives and adverbs out the thesaurus for it. Would definitely submit it with someone else's head shot attached, though.

as long as a head shot was involved somewhere. or a neckshot.

 

[DotCommunist]

Indeed - post #3116.

Still, if I was offered cash money to churn out nearly two thousand words on how to eat toast, I would shake a few adjectives and adverbs out the thesaurus for it. Would definitely submit it with someone else's head shot attached, though.

I suppose the next thrilling piece will be 'how to have a shit after eating toast'

 

[butchersapron]

I suppose the next thrilling piece will be 'how to have a shit after eating toast'

And then get it published and paid for.