What can you bring to the team?

[Jackobi]

I have a job interview on Monday and know this question will crop up.

I usually spout some bollocks about being conscientious as I know that any mistakes reflect on the team. And that I strive to provide a high standard of customer service. WTF do they want?

 

[bi0boy]

My skills and experience, as well as my wonderful team spirit.

 

[Virtual Blue]

I bring love, affection and order into any team.
I am the maker of men and lover of women.
My favourite colour is baby blue.
I only have one nipple that I rub and tug when I'm nervous (like now, at an interview).

 

[DotCommunist]

'Fear. It is not intentional, I honestly go out of my way to be nice but the terror of my reign within other teams has produced wonderful results. I don't know why but the blood drains from their faces when I start speaking and an initiative borne of rational panic siezes them. They work so hard I wonder if I might not be Satan and not realise it. Once I am no longer there things settle down. I am often between projects and I don't get why'

 

[kabbes]

Well, what are the good characteristics of you personally? What makes you you, in a good way?

 

[Fozzie Bear]

It's best to give specific examples of things you have done.

It's a dual question about whether or not you are a sociopath who can't deal with other people, and also what skills you have.

So I dunno something like "I generally get on well with people and in my current role I have stopped team meetings descending into Thunderdome style shit-fests by mediating between Barbara and Cunty Colin."

 

[xenon]

Biscuits.

 

[The Boy]

Donuts

 

[JimW]

That extra bit of pace up the left wing and more of a threat from dead ball situations.

 

[sealion]

My stunning good looks ,sense of humour , brains , flash car and modesty.

 

[souljacker]

The tunes. And the drugs.

 

[mx wcfc]

I'm my team's grumpy old git. Every team needs a grumpy old git. It helps everyone else feel happier about themselves.

 

[Sprocket.]

I've never scabbed!

 

[Ax^]

And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy my brothers...

 

[emanymton]

Biscuits

 

[dessiato]

Well, what are the good characteristics of you personally? What makes you you, in a good way?

I don't think they should say this.

 

[AnnaKarpik]

Think about some of the problems that can crop up in teams and how you would react to them, with examples.

Off the top of my head;
are all team members equally valued or is the 'team' just a bunch of individuals competing with each other
are the views and ideas of all team members considered and weighted on their merits rather than the perceived competence/experience/popularity of the person expressing them
interesting projects go the men on the team while the women get to organise the Christmas party
whispering campaigns centred on one or two team members
divide and rule tactics by team leader

You could frame it as 'in the best/most effective/happiest teams xyz happens and this is how I try to play my part in achieving this'

 

[Yossarian]

I bring the knowledge that there is no "I" in "team." Though there is a me, and also meat and mate if you shuffle the letters around.

 

[Supine]

Say cakes and then quickly go into something more serious.

 

[souljacker]

I bring the knowledge that there is no "I" in "team." .

There is a 'u' in cunt though.

 

[Idaho]

I bring oversight. I will provide detailed surveillance on all team members both in and out of work. I've already made a start and have documented most of the routine habits and movements of the people in this room.

 

[Bahnhof Strasse]

Well, what are the good characteristics of you personally? What makes you you, in a good way?

I tried that, but telling them that I'm a bit of a cunt never seemed to seal the deal, so I had to resort to bullshit instead.

 

[Jackobi]

Thanks all, there are some very constructive comments to take on board going forward (see, I'm getting in to the bollock speak).

I think I'll definitely go for nipple tweaking in the interview whilst declaring that I am the son of Satan. But I bake a good cake so gissa job.

 

[Celyn]

I seem to remember that "Trainspotting includes a couple of job interviews.

 

[extra dry]

How did it go? Biscuits nipple tugging aside.

 

[Orang Utan]

'I make everyone else look and feel vaguely competent'

 

[Jackobi]

How did it go? Biscuits nipple tugging aside.

I didn't get it. I felt that the interview didn't go too badly but I completely fucked up the pre-interview, case study test.

I'll be getting some feedback next week.

 

[mrs quoad]

COOOOOJOOOOONEEEEESSSS

#winningatlife #winningwithquoad

 

[A380]

An interesting range of STDs

 

[A380]

I didn't get it. I felt that the interview didn't go too badly but I completely fucked up the pre-interview, case study test.

I'll be getting some feedback next week.

Sorry to hear that.