The office 'scolding email' thread

[ouirdeaux]

I was under the impression the original miscreants were people working in an office in the UK. Maybe, just maybe, they're from abroad and haven't been in the country long enough to learn about kettles. But the odds are against it.

 

[billy_bob]

Just one of the many things we were falsely promised we wouldn't have to worry about any more after Brexit, then

 

[Elpenor]

An intriguing one today

“A see through ‘zippy bag’ of medication / drugs has been found in the cafe and handed into reception

If this belongs to you please collect from reception today before 1800 hrs”

 

[Pickman's model]

An intriguing one today

“A see through ‘zippy bag’ of medication / drugs has been found in the cafe and handed into reception

If this belongs to you please collect from reception today before 1800 hrs”

there's a conundrum for you, are you going to get your stuff back?

 

[Elpenor]

Not falling for that again

 

[Pickman's model]

 

[UnderOpenSky]

View attachment 326353

It would annoy me tbf. My partner does this.

 

[A380]

View attachment 326353

You'd have thought they would have been able to predict that...

 

[ouirdeaux]

People make tea in a teapot with tea leaves? In offices?

 

[Pickman's model]

People make tea in a teapot with tea leaves? In offices?

in an office with a poison cupboard

 

[ouirdeaux]

in an office with a poison cupboard

Fuck me, you're spoilt. We're lucky if they give us milk and sugar.

 

[Boris Sprinkler]

thank you for your coorporation. From one robot to another.

 

[UnderOpenSky]

People make tea in a teapot with tea leaves? In offices?

I've brought a cafetiere in which lives behind my desk next to the kettle. I recently started putting the coffee on expenses and they get paid.

 

[Pickman's model]

I've brought a cafetiere in which lives behind my desk next to the kettle. I recently started putting the coffee on expenses and they get paid.

the coffee from Perky Blenders Specialty Coffee is very good, see if they'll stump up for that

 

[equationgirl]

in an office with a poison cupboard

In an office with a poison cupboard WITH A MISSING KEY

 

[LeytonCatLady]

I've brought a cafetiere in which lives behind my desk next to the kettle. I recently started putting the coffee on expenses and they get paid.

I just had a vision of you spilling coffee on an expense slip and the powers that be responding "Oh OK then!"

 

[Rebelda]

Not scolding, but this made me laugh. I think it's a combo of how formal it is plus the repeated use of ring.

 

[Voley]

Not scolding, but this made me laugh. I think it's a combo of how formal it is plus the repeated use of ring.

View attachment 328758

Suggested improvements:

Good mornring all,

A ring has been found in one of the female toilets, the admin team have the ring locked away for safe keepring.

Please ring the admin team if you believe it is your ring.

Ringards,

 

[billy_bob]

Suggested improvements:

Good mornring all,

A ring has been found in one of the female toilets, the admin team have the ring locked away for safe keepring.

Please ring the admin team if you believe it is your ring.

Ringards,

Suggested further improvement:

Good mornring all,

A ring has been found in one of the female toilets, the admin team have the ring locked away for safe keepring, because it looks preciousss.

Please ring the admin team if you believe it is your ring.

Ringards,

 

[A380]

Suggested further improvement:

Good mornring all,

A ring has been found in one of the female toilets, the admin team have the ring locked away for safe keepring, because it looks preciousss.

Please ring the admin team if you believe it is your ring.

Ringards,

"If no owner comes forward could it be offered to staff? I'll throw my hat in the ring."

 

[Pickman's model]

Subject: roof garden cushions

Can anybody shed light on the missing two large black foam cushions ? They should have been returned back to their box at the top of the stairs, not left out as there is a possibility they could go airborne which we hope hasn’t happened. Somebody hidden them ?

 

[Pickman's model]

not scolding but reminiscent of the cardgate scandal of a couple of years ago

 

[equationgirl]

I miss cardgate Pickman's model aside from the potential theft and fraud it was quite amusing.

The boxes of aprons just sounds like a mixed up order. Sadface.

 

[equationgirl]

Exactly Pickman's model exactly.

Anyway I have changed employer so am back in the university sector and am becoming exposed to all the batshittery one could dream of, sans le clef to the poisons cupboard.

 

[Artaxerxes]

People make tea in a teapot with tea leaves? In offices?

I use paper tea bags and loose leaf

 

[nogojones]

People make tea in a teapot with tea leaves? In offices?

Why not. Lets make the process that little bit longer.

Boss makes a dollar
I make a dime
That's why I brew tea on company time

 

[existentialist]

People make tea in a teapot with tea leaves? In offices?

I do. And not only for the looks of frank incomprehension I get as I bash the used leaves out, barista style, in the sink.

 

[smmudge]

Dear smmudge

You're receiving this email because our records show that you are due to complete the e-learning module, Harassment & Bullying at Work as part of our mandatory requirement.

Yeah guess I could be better at that

 

[tim]

Yeah guess I could be better at that

Our worst was being obliged to do a module on modern slavery for which we weren't paid.

 

[Pickman's model]