The office 'scolding email' thread

[Puddy_Tat]

or if it's a family firm, this could be mr smith (senior)'s office

 

[Pickman's model]

not really scolding but i liked it

oh dear:

 

[ice-is-forming]

We've had emails about cars all week

HI all,

I have noticed that cars are again being double parked on a evening and during the day.

Could everyone please stick with the car parking plan – 2 vehicles out the back isn’t it?

Also a reminder that the disability car park is for use for those with a disability and must be kept clear for those needing to use it – it is not another car park – just a reminder please everyone.

Have a good day,

but tomorrow there's gonna be one saying..

"who thought it would be a good idea to buy a full size outdoor setting for the smokers area at the front of the building"

And really it'd be right. i mean for starters who the fucks gonna bring it in every night, it will for sure be pinched other wise... plus it's blocking the disability ramp and we share our office with a disability employment service End of financial year spending all the money shopping frenzy or what!

 

[Bahnhof Strasse]

Love the way that in a country the size of Jupiter that's inhabited by 8 people, 3 crocs and a handful of vicious spiders, parking is still an issue

 

[Pickman's model]

oh dear:

 

[ash]

It took me ages to work out what the soup in our 'college' cafe was today. Not a good advert for adult education !!

 

[Bahnhof Strasse]

OK, who farted?

 

[mrs quoad]

TBF, the CD only arrived yesterday. I should probably get some non-open headphones.

 

[5t3IIa]

There's a "If you sprinkle when you tinkle..." thing laminated to the bogs on the 3rd floor here

 

[Bahnhof Strasse]

Mike, the senior executive in IT has emailed the whole company with this:

Good morning everyone,

There was a brief email outage this morning that has been resolved. If you find that you are still disconnected from Outlook or not receiving new mail please close all open Outlook windows and restart the application.

Best regards,

Mike

 

[Puddy_Tat]

Mike, the senior executive in IT has emailed the whole company with this:

"if you don't get this e-mail please let me know"

 

[Corax]

There's a "If you sprinkle when you tinkle..." thing laminated to the bogs on the 3rd floor here

Add another one running

If you make signs,
With twee urinary rhymes...
Then fuck off and die you insufferable cunt. Really.

 

[Pickman's model]

 

[equationgirl]

View attachment 111659

That should really have been titled 'broken kettle in kitchen,' I momentarily thought 'well where else would it be??'

 

[cybershot]

thought everywhere had those plumbed wall mounted water heaters in communal kitchens these days.

 

[equationgirl]

thought everywhere had those plumbed wall mounted water heaters in communal kitchens these days.

WE have both.

 

[strung out]

WE have both.

We have a kettle in our office, no kitchen though - or even a tap!

 

[Pickman's model]

 

[Bahnhof Strasse]

WE have both.

We have both plus a Nespresso machine that people continually fuck around with until they give up and go downstairs to Starbucks.

 

[equationgirl]

We have both plus a Nespresso machine that people continually fuck around with until they give up and go downstairs to Starbucks.

The espresso machine now redeployed in a different office because the owner moved. The kettle sits next to the matching toaster.

 

[Nanker Phelge]

Warning - This is Horrid (Email Title)

I'm sorry guys,

Whilst I'm sympathetic to anyone who has bowel issues in the office, what I can't stomach is the thought that one of the people I know and like is happy to leave this disaster for Jaunita or one of our other cleaners, who, by the way we brought from the other office because we LIKE them to deal with.
If this was you, then you SHOULD have made the effort to clear this up, either with the toilet brush, or by flushing many many times.
Our cleaners are people, and I personally don't find it acceptable for them to be left with this kind of disaster to deal with. It's demeaning and insulting.
This is something we as a company should be above, seriously take some fucking responsibility for your actions.

I'm sorry everyone who had to see this who wasn't involved, but I don't see any other way of expressing this.

 

[kabbes]

I doubt that using the word "fucking" on the company email system is in line with corporate policy.

 

[marty21]

thought everywhere had those plumbed wall mounted water heaters in communal kitchens these days.

we have one of those but it is a super modern office (we moved here a couple of years ago)

 

[Bahnhof Strasse]

what I can't stomach is the thought that one of the people I know and like is happy to leave this disaster for Jaunita or one of our other cleaners,

Jaunita the janitor

 

[Nanker Phelge]

I doubt that using the word "fucking" on the company email system is in line with corporate policy.

While it was picked up, he wasn't chastised too harshly for it...

 

[Nanker Phelge]

Jaunita the janitor

She's been with us a long time...

 

[equationgirl]

It is amazing how many supposedly grown up women seem incapable of flushing a toilet at work. I have lost count of similar things I have seen at work. Seriously, how hard is it to wait for the cistern to refill and flush it again?

 

[Bahnhof Strasse]

It is amazing how many supposedly grown up women seem incapable of flushing a toilet at work. I have lost count of similar things I have seen at work. Seriously, how hard is it to wait for the cistern to refill and flush it again?

Bloke's bogs stink of piss as we spray it all over the place, but women's bogs are often on another level of grim, was dragged in to one in Hong Kong to look at the shit and menstrual blood all over the pan and floor around it by a truly disgusted girlfriend once, must be up there with one of the worst sights I've ever seen

 

[Nanker Phelge]

I've been a Facilities Manager for 25 years.

Women's loos have always been worst.

 

[Orang Utan]