not-bono-ever
meh
Always order a vegetarian/ Hindu/ lactose/ kosher meal . You get served quicker, the food is better and you get to piss off the other victims who find all there is left is a tepid morose beef wellington
Long haul flights tips and advice
- Thread starter Me76
- Start date
Bahnhof Strasse
Met up with Hannah Courtoy a week next Tuesday
I used to have to fly to New York a couple of times a month, sometimes more in the 90's, it was nearly always economy, always on American Airlines. They had the option to order a hamburger meal; you got a massive burger in a bun, crisps and ice cream. You also got sniggers at the start of the flight when they called out the passenger names and the type of meal, the sniggers disappeared when they saw my nice meal vs their dismal offerings
bellaozzydog
rolling turds in glitter
Travel business and get paid for it while you travel
If leg room is important research early and if you want an emergency exit seat with leg stretch pay the money it’s worth it
Get to the airport early, skip the long queues and avoid the stressy last minute crowds
Always put some baggage in the hold, they will do everything in their means not to unload hold baggage if you find yourself late(drunk/lost) running for gate. If you have no hold baggage they will just close gate tough tits
Take a wander, Identify your gate so you know where you are going and how long it takes to get there
Maximum prehydrate. I buy two biggish bottles of water and neck one in the airport and carry one on.
Treat yourself to a nice meal and a few drinks.
Use noise cancelling earphones (Bose in ear are ace, evening with no tunes going through them)
Use a plastic shopping bag to chuck stuff you need for flight rather than fecking around with your carryon and keeps everything in one place
Diazepam and wine if you want to smash it out in a sleepy daze. (Diazepam easy to find over the counter in a lot of less developed countries)
Wear the knee high dvt compression socks they really stop restless leg.
Move around regularly.
Take alcohol gel to debug your hands
Be nice to the stewards they feed you wine.
Accept that if you booze your arrival Day will be a bit miserable
HYDRATE
MEDITATE
DON’t wear jeans
If leg room is important research early and if you want an emergency exit seat with leg stretch pay the money it’s worth it
Get to the airport early, skip the long queues and avoid the stressy last minute crowds
Always put some baggage in the hold, they will do everything in their means not to unload hold baggage if you find yourself late(drunk/lost) running for gate. If you have no hold baggage they will just close gate tough tits
Take a wander, Identify your gate so you know where you are going and how long it takes to get there
Maximum prehydrate. I buy two biggish bottles of water and neck one in the airport and carry one on.
Treat yourself to a nice meal and a few drinks.
Use noise cancelling earphones (Bose in ear are ace, evening with no tunes going through them)
Use a plastic shopping bag to chuck stuff you need for flight rather than fecking around with your carryon and keeps everything in one place
Diazepam and wine if you want to smash it out in a sleepy daze. (Diazepam easy to find over the counter in a lot of less developed countries)
Wear the knee high dvt compression socks they really stop restless leg.
Move around regularly.
Take alcohol gel to debug your hands
Be nice to the stewards they feed you wine.
Accept that if you booze your arrival Day will be a bit miserable
HYDRATE
MEDITATE
DON’t wear jeans
skyscraper101
0891 50 50 50
Take extra plane snacks.Also, lots and lots of chewing gum. Especially if you smoke.
Ah yeah. Load up on snacks. Bottle of water. Sandwich, pringles, chocolate, nuts, gum. You'll never regret having food on you even if you don't end up eating it all on the plane. Just be careful of taking fruit, or meat and dairy into the US/Australia if you do bring a sandwich. I doubt you'll end up in Guantanamo over it, but still.
moochedit
Mr Mooched It
Leave any uneaten food on the plane. No you wouldn't go to prison but you would get it confiscated, plus a large fine and a lecture about how evil it is to bring diseased foreign food into Australia. I think the USA has simalar rules as well.
ice-is-forming
let me rephrase that... Fuck off
They have a computerised system now. scan your passport, stand in front of the camera and if you're legit you're in
ice-is-forming
let me rephrase that... Fuck off
yes usb chargers are available in your seat. And they tend to use the meals and dark time to assist with you entering into new time zone. Honestly don't stress, youll be okay
A380
How do I change this 'custom title' thing then?
They have got rid of paper landing cards recently. It’s all E-boarders now. If you have been inon an zests before you can use the automated gates.
ice-is-forming
let me rephrase that... Fuck off
and yes, buy a big bottle of water once you're past security and also carry on a a big, wide necked refillable, empty necked water bottle on to the plane,
A380
How do I change this 'custom title' thing then?
I mentioned it before but going into China they x-ray your bags on arrival. HK to Hainanout of three big suitcases and four cabin sized suitcases the fruit police spotted Ms 747’s forgotten apple. I found that scary and impressive in equal amounts.
not-bono-ever
meh
And never assist other passengers who may want to use your unused baggage allowance. I have had this a couple of times from through the Middle East- they had shitloads of crap and both times were hassling hand only passengers to book it in for them to avoid paying £££££ out in baggage charges...
Mrs Miggins
There's been a slight cheese accident
Wow - would anyone be stupid enough to actually do that? There could be anything in the bags.
How did they know they were hand luggage only?
not-bono-ever
meh
I dunno really - they were desperate to offload anything and I had a wheely and a victims face
Mrs Miggins
There's been a slight cheese accident
How long would it take to get by Australia by train and what route would you take? (Obvs there would be a need for boats at some point).
T & P
|-o-| (-o-) |-o-|
So quite possibly as polluting as a modern airliner, as well taking off two years of your life each way
Mrs Miggins
There's been a slight cheese accident
Cool
Bahnhof Strasse
Met up with Hannah Courtoy a week next Tuesday
nick
Pleomorphic Adenomas R us
Download as many netflix / Iplayer shows & movies to your devices as you can. It's a long way: when we went to Aus this year I managed to pick the bones out of pretty much everything decent on the in flight video selection on the way out - only to find it was pretty much the same selection on the way back.
By the way, isn't Australia that a way from London --->
Why you sneaking up on it from the other way round?
By the way, isn't Australia that a way from London --->
Why you sneaking up on it from the other way round?
Me76
Not very good lurker
Coming back via Singapore. I'm basically doing a one way trip around the world.
It was the flight times that worked for me with other commitments.
skyscraper101
0891 50 50 50
I was wondering this myself. Definitely taking the long way round.
Singapore airport is lovely compared to LAX. They’ve just installed the world’s biggest indoor waterfall. there’s other stuff too, endless shops, swimming pool, cinema, butterfly farm. It’s an adventure in itself. And ridiculously clean.
Singapore airport is lovely compared to LAX. They’ve just installed the world’s biggest indoor waterfall. there’s other stuff too, endless shops, swimming pool, cinema, butterfly farm. It’s an adventure in itself. And ridiculously clean.
Yossarian
⏭️
If I I had a spare 43 days and AUD$8,070, I would definitely want to take the Tilbury-Sydney freighter, stopping at:
- Tilbury, Great Britain
- Salerno, Italy
- Malta, Malta
- Damietta, Egypt
- Cochin, Inde
- Colombo, Sri Lanka
- Chennai, India
- Port Kelang, Malaysia
- Singapore, Singapore
- Adelaide, Australia
- Sydney, Australia
skyscraper101
0891 50 50 50
moochedit
Mr Mooched It
ash
Inittogether
I wonder how long it stops each time?
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