Long haul flights tips and advice

[joustmaster]

You're so wrong.

I am literally just starting my preflight checklist as we speak.

document is private.

 

[belboid]

document is private.

I was a bit surprised that it had my work email address on it, till I worked that out.....

 

[fuck seals]

I had to do 7 hours birmingham to dubai and then another 14 hours dubai to melbourne when i went about 10 years ago.

God that reminds me. The shame ....

Nightflight heathrow to dubai. I'd been superfucking organised and got the little double seat at the back of BA's 747s. Anyway. Late night take off morning arrival 7hrs.

Got chatting to my double seat partner. A lawyer for an oil company. She was very dubai savvy with a bunch of interesting views about being a sing woman working in UAE.

Coffees are served, and whilst bodily punctuating and wildly amusing story i was telling her i threw at least 3/4s of the coffee over her. Still, she was very gracious, and after being mopped down, the lights dimmed, blankets were worn and sleepy time came.

I was the window seat, and a got a bit thirsty cpl hours later. So i clambered past her all stealthy so she didn't wake and stuffed myself with choc and coke at the little galley thing. Oh well might as well get a hot choc to take back to the seat. As i clambered over her i poured to whole 100% of it over her. Rude awakening. If looks could have killed.

What was worse was that i was sort of straddling her seat cup in hand whilst she was just steaming hot choc as it soaked into her.

There are no words, obvs. Also she was rightly completely livid.

Last seen going from immigration to her morning meeting wear a very striking coffee and chocolate ensemble....

 

[ash]

grow up, we're just having a discussion about a minor issue, no need to get huffy. I just happen to think that those two requirements are a long way down any list of 'necessities.' Better to chill and look forward to a flight than buy a bunch of unnecessary items that you'll (probably) be given for free anyway.

Tell us about these footrest things tho, they are an interesting idea. Unfortunately, the reviews on that link imply they are best for short people whose feet don't normally reach the floor on a flight

I think they would work better for short people my husband is 6’1” and wouldn’t have worked for him. They are slung over the table but can be used with table up or down and act like a hammock takes pressure off your legs and you can shift to slightly on your side. Helped with keeping moving to avoid DVT too.

 

[fuck seals]

document is private.

That's cos technology

 

[belboid]

I think they would work better for short people my husband is 6’1” and wouldn’t have worked for him. They are slung over the table but can be used with table up or down and act like a hammock takes pressure off your legs and you can shift to slightly on your side. Helped with keeping moving to avoid DVT too.

Cheers! Shame, as I'm 6'1 too

 

[Spymaster]

Last seen going from immigration to her morning meeting wear a very striking coffee and chocolate ensemble....

Her fault for doing a redeye in next day's work clothes.

 

[Badgers]

Anyone mentioned valium?

 

[Badgers]

Download some good audio books
Decent neck pillow
Comfy clothes

 

[Numbers]

Turn left when boarding the plane.

 

[Bahnhof Strasse]

Turn left when boarding the plane.

Is of course the correct way to go about things. And then drink booze until you pass out in your flat bed and awake in time for landing.

If a six year old can manage it there’s no excuse not to...

 

[pseudonarcissus]

.... drink booze until you pass out in your flat bed....If a six year old can manage it there’s no excuse not to...

I think we have safeguarding issues here

 

[spitfire]

Don't take any food. The aussie customs are really strict on it.

Get some water bottles in the airport shop after you get through security (definately not before security and don't take them off first plane) as you get really thirsty.

I had to do 7 hours birmingham to dubai and then another 14 hours dubai to melbourne when i went about 10 years ago.

I am not going to lie to you. It was hell.
Sorry.

I took some crisps out to Australia for my mate who missed his Mini Cheddars, did the responsible thing and went through the Something To Declare line, showed them the crisps and got the nod straight through.

Meanwhile 450 people with Nothing To Declare queued for ages to get out. I was through in 5 minutes.

 

[dessiato]

If you've a hire car pre-booked get off as near last as possible. When you go to collect your car they'll often not have what you reserved and have to up grade you.

 

[felixthecat]

Download some good audio books
Decent neck pillow
Comfy clothes

This^
It's never going to be really comfortable whatever you do, short of blagging a seat in business class.

 

[Spymaster]

If you've a hire car pre-booked get off as near last as possible. When you go to collect your car they'll often not have what you reserved and have to up grade you.

I'm not sure that the long shot at a potential upgrade is worth is worth being stuck at the back of all the queues you'll encounter, least of all at the car hire desk. I'm the other way round. I aim to have collected the car and left the airport before the last passenger off has collected their luggage.

 

[dessiato]

I'm not sure that the long shot at a potential upgrade is worth is worth being stuck at the back of all the queues you'll encounter, least of all at the car hire desk. I'm the other way round. I aim to have collected the car and left the airport before the last passenger off has collected their luggage.

In my experience I've always been upgraded at least one level, and once four.

 

[dylanredefined]

Valium. Not joking. They should give it out at the gate.

Other than that stockings for DVT.

As long as you are used to it. Can leave you a bit disorientated at the other end.
My mate's father lives in Florida. As soon as he was demobbed from his tour in Iraq told him to get to Heathrow ticket will be waiting for him. As an individual replacement, he didn't do the decompression in Cyprus so less than 12 hours from a warzone got on a plane to Florida necked a couple of valium slept the entire flight woke up not a clue where he was upset the air steward as he was looking for his rifle and body armour. Had to chat to security to clear up the misunderstanding. They got to use their explosive sniffer gadget on him which listed every type of ammunition he had touched.

 

[weltweit]

Do they still spray the inside of the aircraft on arrival at Sydney for alien insects etc?

Flying into Sydney was very bumpy.

When the Australians ask you if you have any earth or plant matter with you - say no!

 

[planetgeli]

Flying into Sydney is amazing, 45 degree turn over the Opera House.

 

[joustmaster]

Is of course the correct way to go about things. And then drink booze until you pass out in your flat bed and awake in time for landing.

If a six year old can manage it there’s no excuse not to...

too right, sir!

6 month old baby Jousty

 

[Yossarian]

For the really long flights, I find that a few Valium plus a window seat equals the closest thing to teleportation currently available.

 

[moochedit]

Get an aisle seat not a window seat so you don't have to ask people to move when you need a piss.

 

[Spymaster]

Get an aisle seat not a window seat so you don't have to ask people to move when you need a piss.

.... but you will have people asking you to move when they need a piss. Swings and roundabouts, that one.

 

[TheHoodedClaw]

Get an aisle seat not a window seat so you don't have to ask people to move when you need a piss.

I absolutely need a window seat so I can quietly sob in agony when the cabin pressure is raised on landing. A broken cheekbone, a mangled and scarred sinus. It's no fun whatsoever at any point, but worse when I can't hide a bit

 

[krtek a houby]

Packet of wet wipes to clean the table, screen, armrests etc. They tend to pick up a lot of filth. And it you're medically ok with aspirin, take one to help prevent DVT.

(disclaimer: I am not a medic, if someone says it's bad for you, fair enough)

 

[Winot]

In my experience I've always been upgraded at least one level, and once four.

You ended up flying the plane?

 

[A380]

Turn left when boarding the plane.

Is of course the correct way to go about things. And then drink booze until you pass out in your flat bed and awake in time for landing.

If a six year old can manage it there’s no excuse not to...

If you are paying for your own tickets and have the time I prefer to fly cattle class ( upgrading to an exit seat if you can) and then spend the huge amount of money saved on an extra night in a hotel. The cheapest airport or city centre hotel gives a better sleep or shower than a business class flat bed.

 

[A380]

Another tip when arriving in Sydney if you didn’t do the E-Boarders pre-notification.

When the immigration officer asks if you have any criminal convictions don’t say:

“I’m very sorry I didn’t know you needed them anymore...”

 

[Mrs Miggins]

Only things to add to what people have said already is to try to get your head in the right place before you get on. If you get on thinking "this is going to be hell" then it will be. Just accept that you're going to be on planes for a very long time but the reward at the end is Australia!

Oh and those neck pillows are a cumbersome waste of time.