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Living off the land 100%

butchersapron said:
That's impossible.
Click to expand...
My sources say different:

  1. Truxta' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. Ever.
  2. Truxta does not sleep. He waits.
  3. Truxta is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
  4. The chief export of Truxta is pain.
  5. If you can see Truxta, he can see you. If you can't see Truxta, you may be only seconds away from death.
  6. Truxta has counted to infinity. Twice.
  7. Truxta does not hunt because the word hunting implies the probability of failure. Truxta goes killing.
  8. Truxta doesn’t wash his clothes, he disembowels them.
  9. Truxta is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a f***ing Indian.
  10. In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Truxta, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.
  11. There is no chin behind Truxta' beard. There is only another fist.
  12. Truxta once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over thePacific Ocean.
  13. Crop circles are Truxta' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the f*** down.
  14. Truxta is ten feet tall, weighs two-tons, breathes fire, and could eat a hammer and take a shotgun blast standing. He doesn't need your vote in the BusinessWeek Power 100; 'Bob Mantz' does. Vote 'Bob Mantz' and 'Truxta' at http://www.businessweek.com/power100/poll.html
  15. The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Truxta out. It failed miserably.
  16. If you ask Truxta what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds 'till." After you ask, "Two seconds 'til what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
  17. Truxta drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.
  18. Truxta sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse-kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
  19. There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Truxta allows to live.
  20. Truxta once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.
  21. Truxta is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
  22. Truxta doesn't churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.
  23. When Truxta sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Truxta has not had to pay taxes ever.
  24. The quickest way to a man's heart is with Truxta' fist.
  25. A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Truxta and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
  26. Truxta will attain statehood in 2009. His state flower will be the Magnolia.
  27. Nagasaki never had a bomb dropped on it. Truxta jumped out of a plane and punched the ground.
  28. Truxta originally appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."
  29. The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodge ball Truxta played in second grade.
  30. Truxta once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"
  31. Truxta once bet NASA he could survive re-entry without a spacesuit. On July 19th, 1999, a naked Truxta re-entered the earth's atmosphere, streaking over 14 states and reaching a temperature of 3000 degrees. An embarrassed NASA publicly claimed it was a meteor, and still owes him a beer.
  32. Truxta has two speeds: Walk and Kill.
  33. Someone once tried to tell Truxta that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.
  34. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Truxta once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.
  35. Truxta is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Truxta
  36. Truxta is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle -- you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face.
  37. Truxta can drink an entire gallon of milk in forty-seven seconds.
  38. Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Truxta instead decided to punch his way out of his mother’s womb.
  39. If you say Truxta' name in Mongolia, the people there will roundhouse kick you in his honor. Their kick will be followed by the REAL roundhouse delivered by none other than Norris himself.
  40. Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Truxta.
  41. Truxta discovered a new theory of relativity involving multiple universes in which Truxta is even more badass than in this one. When it was discovered by Albert Einstein and made public, Truxta roundhouse-kicked him in the face. We know Albert Einstein today as Stephen Hawking.
  42. The Truxta military unit was not used in the game Civilization 4, because a single Truxta could defeat the entire combined nations of the world in one turn.
  43. In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Truxta could use to kill you, including the room itself.
  44. Truxta does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them.
  45. Pluto is actually an orbiting group of British soldiers from the American Revolution who entered space after the Chuck gave them a roundhouse kick to the face.
  46. When Truxta goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
  47. There are no weapons of mass destruction. Just Truxta.
  48. Truxta once challenged Lance Armstrong in a "Who has more testicles?" contest. Truxta won by 5.
  49. Truxta was the fourth wise man, who gave baby Jesus the gift of beard, which he carried with him until he died. The other three wise men were enraged by the preference that Jesus showed to Chuck's gift, and arranged to have him written out of the bible. All three died soon after of mysterious roundhouse-kick related injuries.
  50. Truxta sheds his skin twice a year.
  51. When Truxta calls 1-900 numbers, he doesn’t get charged. He holds up the phone and money falls out.
  52. Truxta once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.
  53. There are no races, only countries of people Truxta has beaten to different shades of black and blue.
  54. Truxta can't finish a "color by numbers" because his markers are filled with the blood of his victims. Unfortunately, all blood is dark red.
  55. A Truxta-delivered Roundhouse Kick is the preferred method of execution in 16 states.
  56. When Truxta falls in water, Truxta doesn't get wet. Water gets Truxta.
  57. Truxta's urine was the main ingredient for balco's designer steroids. Therefore, Truxta is actually the all-time single-season home run king.
  58. Scientists have estimated that the energy given off during the Big Bang is roughly equal to 1CNRhK (Truxta Roundhouse Kick)
  59. Truxta’ house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.
  60. When Truxta has sex with a man, it won't be because he is gay. It will be because he has run out of women.
  61. How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Truxta? ...All of it.
  62. Truxta doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.
  63. In honor of Truxta, all McDonald's in Texas have an even larger size than the super-size. When ordering, just ask to be "Norrisized".
  64. Truxta CAN believe it's not butter.
  65. If tapped, a Truxta roundhouse kick could power the country of Australia for 44 minutes.
  66. The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Truxta has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.
  67. Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Truxta roundhouse kick.
  68. Truxta invented his own type of karate. It's called Chuck-Will-Kill.
  69. When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Truxta just to be on the safe side.
  70. While urinating, Truxta is easily capable of welding titanium.
  71. Truxta once sued the Houghton-Mifflin textbook company when it became apparent that their account of the war of 1812 was plagiarized from his autobiography.
  72. When Steven Seagal kills a ninja, he only takes its hide. When Truxta kills a ninja, he uses every part.
  73. Wilt Chamberlain claims to have slept with more than 20,000 women in his lifetime. Truxta calls this "a slow Tuesday."
  74. Contrary to popular belief, there is indeed enough Truxta to go around.
  75. Truxta doesn’t shave; he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Truxta is Truxta.
  76. For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Truxta, each testicle is larger than the other one.
  77. When taking the SAT, write "Truxta" for every answer. You will score a 1600.
 
Supine said:
Haters going to hate. Well done you perfect specimens. Fuck up a thread from one of urbane more interesting posters. Whatever you think of him his posts are more interesting than most.

Obv Stan will be back :thumbs:
Click to expand...
Narcissistic cunts like him get off on this shit. For that reason I feel slightly grubby even posting on his threads.
 
Idris2002 said:
My sources say different:

  1. Truxta' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. Ever.
  2. Truxta does not sleep. He waits.
  3. Truxta is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
  4. The chief export of Truxta is pain.
  5. If you can see Truxta, he can see you. If you can't see Truxta, you may be only seconds away from death.
  6. Truxta has counted to infinity. Twice.
  7. Truxta does not hunt because the word hunting implies the probability of failure. Truxta goes killing.
  8. Truxta doesn’t wash his clothes, he disembowels them.
  9. Truxta is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a f***ing Indian.
  10. In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Truxta, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.
  11. There is no chin behind Truxta' beard. There is only another fist.
  12. Truxta once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over thePacific Ocean.
  13. Crop circles are Truxta' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the f*** down.
  14. Truxta is ten feet tall, weighs two-tons, breathes fire, and could eat a hammer and take a shotgun blast standing. He doesn't need your vote in the BusinessWeek Power 100; 'Bob Mantz' does. Vote 'Bob Mantz' and 'Truxta' at http://www.businessweek.com/power100/poll.html
  15. The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Truxta out. It failed miserably.
  16. If you ask Truxta what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds 'till." After you ask, "Two seconds 'til what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
  17. Truxta drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.
  18. Truxta sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse-kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
  19. There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Truxta allows to live.
  20. Truxta once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.
  21. Truxta is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
  22. Truxta doesn't churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.
  23. When Truxta sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Truxta has not had to pay taxes ever.
  24. The quickest way to a man's heart is with Truxta' fist.
  25. A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Truxta and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
  26. Truxta will attain statehood in 2009. His state flower will be the Magnolia.
  27. Nagasaki never had a bomb dropped on it. Truxta jumped out of a plane and punched the ground.
  28. Truxta originally appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."
  29. The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodge ball Truxta played in second grade.
  30. Truxta once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"
  31. Truxta once bet NASA he could survive re-entry without a spacesuit. On July 19th, 1999, a naked Truxta re-entered the earth's atmosphere, streaking over 14 states and reaching a temperature of 3000 degrees. An embarrassed NASA publicly claimed it was a meteor, and still owes him a beer.
  32. Truxta has two speeds: Walk and Kill.
  33. Someone once tried to tell Truxta that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.
  34. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Truxta once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.
  35. Truxta is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Truxta
  36. Truxta is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle -- you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face.
  37. Truxta can drink an entire gallon of milk in forty-seven seconds.
  38. Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Truxta instead decided to punch his way out of his mother’s womb.
  39. If you say Truxta' name in Mongolia, the people there will roundhouse kick you in his honor. Their kick will be followed by the REAL roundhouse delivered by none other than Norris himself.
  40. Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Truxta.
  41. Truxta discovered a new theory of relativity involving multiple universes in which Truxta is even more badass than in this one. When it was discovered by Albert Einstein and made public, Truxta roundhouse-kicked him in the face. We know Albert Einstein today as Stephen Hawking.
  42. The Truxta military unit was not used in the game Civilization 4, because a single Truxta could defeat the entire combined nations of the world in one turn.
  43. In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Truxta could use to kill you, including the room itself.
  44. Truxta does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them.
  45. Pluto is actually an orbiting group of British soldiers from the American Revolution who entered space after the Chuck gave them a roundhouse kick to the face.
  46. When Truxta goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
  47. There are no weapons of mass destruction. Just Truxta.
  48. Truxta once challenged Lance Armstrong in a "Who has more testicles?" contest. Truxta won by 5.
  49. Truxta was the fourth wise man, who gave baby Jesus the gift of beard, which he carried with him until he died. The other three wise men were enraged by the preference that Jesus showed to Chuck's gift, and arranged to have him written out of the bible. All three died soon after of mysterious roundhouse-kick related injuries.
  50. Truxta sheds his skin twice a year.
  51. When Truxta calls 1-900 numbers, he doesn’t get charged. He holds up the phone and money falls out.
  52. Truxta once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.
  53. There are no races, only countries of people Truxta has beaten to different shades of black and blue.
  54. Truxta can't finish a "color by numbers" because his markers are filled with the blood of his victims. Unfortunately, all blood is dark red.
  55. A Truxta-delivered Roundhouse Kick is the preferred method of execution in 16 states.
  56. When Truxta falls in water, Truxta doesn't get wet. Water gets Truxta.
  57. Truxta's urine was the main ingredient for balco's designer steroids. Therefore, Truxta is actually the all-time single-season home run king.
  58. Scientists have estimated that the energy given off during the Big Bang is roughly equal to 1CNRhK (Truxta Roundhouse Kick)
  59. Truxta’ house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.
  60. When Truxta has sex with a man, it won't be because he is gay. It will be because he has run out of women.
  61. How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Truxta? ...All of it.
  62. Truxta doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.
  63. In honor of Truxta, all McDonald's in Texas have an even larger size than the super-size. When ordering, just ask to be "Norrisized".
  64. Truxta CAN believe it's not butter.
  65. If tapped, a Truxta roundhouse kick could power the country of Australia for 44 minutes.
  66. The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Truxta has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.
  67. Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Truxta roundhouse kick.
  68. Truxta invented his own type of karate. It's called Chuck-Will-Kill.
  69. When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Truxta just to be on the safe side.
  70. While urinating, Truxta is easily capable of welding titanium.
  71. Truxta once sued the Houghton-Mifflin textbook company when it became apparent that their account of the war of 1812 was plagiarized from his autobiography.
  72. When Steven Seagal kills a ninja, he only takes its hide. When Truxta kills a ninja, he uses every part.
  73. Wilt Chamberlain claims to have slept with more than 20,000 women in his lifetime. Truxta calls this "a slow Tuesday."
  74. Contrary to popular belief, there is indeed enough Truxta to go around.
  75. Truxta doesn’t shave; he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Truxta is Truxta.
  76. For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Truxta, each testicle is larger than the other one.
  77. When taking the SAT, write "Truxta" for every answer. You will score a 1600.
Click to expand...
You fucked up 69
 
Supine said:
Haters going to hate. Well done you perfect specimens. Fuck up a thread from one of urbane more interesting posters. Whatever you think of him his posts are more interesting than most.

Obv Stan will be back :thumbs:
Click to expand...

If you don't wind him up he starts posting about how boring it is on here and fucks off anyway.
 
TruXta said:
BTW next time some racist cunt rocks up are you going to defend them in the same way?
Click to expand...
It would depend on lots of things.

1) I am sure if editor thought Stanley was an irredeemable racist (at the time of the event you refer to) Stanley would have been permabanned, he wasn't.

2) Someone I knew for years expressed some dodgy attitudes in relation to refugees recently. It made me rethink what I felt about them. I countered their opinions forcefully at that time but our friendship was based on something else so I did continue to talk to them although slightly more warily.
 
weltweit said:
2) Someone I knew for years expressed some dodgy attitudes in relation to refugees recently. It made me rethink what I felt about them. I countered their opinions forcefully at that time but our friendship was based on something else so I did continue to talk to them although slightly more warily.
Click to expand...
When you countered your friend's opinions, did it make them think differently, or perhaps even momentarily rethink their own position?

When people have pointed out to Stan how massively inappropriate his views on certain things are - such as that thread about fancying underage girls - he's never shown any propensity for change or contrition, he's just doggedly tried to defend his position, in spite of literally everyone else on here pointing out how egregious his views are. It's hard to sympathise with someone whose own intransigence prevents them from realising that when everyone else says you're wrong, perhaps the truth is you are wrong.
 
EastEnder said:
When you countered your friend's opinions, did it make them think differently, or perhaps even momentarily rethink their own position?
Click to expand...
I would hope it did but at the time they were vociferously defending their position as I was mine. We were in a group of about 8 in a pub but our loud row (just the two of us) had everyone dumbfounded. Since that time we haven't met so much and when we have we have both avoided the subject. But I would hope some little of my views rubbed off on him.

EastEnder said:
When people have pointed out to Stan how massively inappropriate his views on certain things are - such as that thread about fancying underage girls - he's never shown any propensity for change or contrition, he's just doggedly tried to defend his position, in spite of literally everyone else on here pointing out how egregious his views are. It's hard to sympathise with someone whose own intransigence prevents them from realising that when everyone else says you're wrong, perhaps the truth is you are wrong.
Click to expand...
I understand what you are saying. Stan has made a bed and rather than back down he is in it, I think he knows his actions with the downs girl were somewhat dubious. But 1) it is in print now and there is no erasing it. And 2) I don't think that particular act makes him an "axe murderer". There are other events that cause controversy but as you mention, as much because Stan fails to back down as the actual view being so very evil. Death by a thousand cuts perhaps.
 
weltweit said:
I would hope it did but at the time they were vociferously defending their position as I was mine. We were in a group of about 8 in a pub but our loud row (just the two of us) had everyone dumbfounded. Since that time we haven't met so much and when we have we have both avoided the subject. But I would hope some little of my views rubbed off on him.


I understand what you are saying. Stan has made a bed and rather than back down he is in it, I think he knows his actions with the downs girl were somewhat dubious. But 1) it is in print now and there is no erasing it. And 2) I don't think that particular act makes him an "axe murderer". There are other events that cause controversy but as you mention, as much because Stan fails to back down as the actual view being so very evil. Death by a thousand cuts perhaps.
Click to expand...
tbh if it was only the unfortunate incident with the downs girl i think we'd all have a much higher opinion of stan. but it's not. there's so much more than that which presents him in a poor light. and i'm not thinking solely of his dirty little moroccans bit.
 
I get that there's loads of things people don't like about Stanley Edwards and that he brings a lot of this circus on himself but imo the relentless piss-taking about his use of alcohol is pretty shit.
Same with the attitude towards him for not having a permanent place to live . Those are rubbish things to choose to attack someone for i think.
 
bimble said:
I get that there's loads of things people don't like about Stanley Edwards and that he brings a lot of this circus on himself but imo the relentless piss-taking about his use of alcohol is pretty shit.
Same with the attitude towards him for not having a permanent place to live . Those are rubbish things to choose to attack someone for i think.
Click to expand...
He's chosen to live with no fixed abode. He deserves all the shit and more.
 
Why? FFS. I've got a friend of no fixed abode, can't afford to rent in london but manages to survive travelling, doesn't sign on just makes things and buying & selling stuff. Why does that bother you?
 
bimble said:
Why? FFS. I've got a friend of no fixed abode, can't afford to rent in london but manages to survive travelling, doesn't sign on just makes things and buying & selling stuff. Why does that bother you?
Click to expand...
In itself it does not. In the context of Stanley's little adventure here it takes on quite a different tenor.
 
butchersapron said:
Why did you feel the need to say they don't sign on?
Click to expand...
Because I'm trying to understand why anyone would possibly be annoyed by the fact that it's a choice to live like that as in Truxta's post above. Why on earth its anyone's concern that another chooses to live without a fixed abode and why would that choice mean they deserve 'all the shit'. Sounds like some daily mail railing against the welfare state thing.
 
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