Jeff Bezos's space ambitions and the New Shepard spacecraft - news and discussion

[Zapp Brannigan]

I want to hear a live feed of commentary from Jeff as he's about to take off.

Rockets fire and it gets airborne just long enough for Bezos to exclaim, "yes, it's a total success!"

Then it needs to blow up just so the newspapers can run a picture of his MASSIVE COCK ROCKET with the headline "Premature Ejaculation".

 

[Flavour]

I hope it burns up on re-entry, not during take off. Let the man at least enjoy the view and a make a toast to his greatness up there before being converted into human toast

 

[Crispy]

Worth noting that this is a tiny suborbital "hop" and not true orbital spaceflight.
Jeff will just be poking his head into space for 5m of freefall and then coming back down on parachutes. No orbital speed and therefore no reentry. As far as spaceflight goes, it's just about the safest way to do it. The Virgin spaceplane has already had a fatal crash during testing and is a much more hairy ride.

 

[WouldBe]

I hope the mannequins they have used to test it were weighted or I can see it falling over on take off and shagging every bush and rock in the area before coming to a sticky end.

 

[Yossarian]

Then it needs to blow up just so the newspapers can run a picture of his MASSIVE COCK ROCKET with the headline "Premature Ejaculation".

"Projectile Dysfunction"

 

[Zapp Brannigan]

"Projectile Dysfunction"

Falls agonisingly short of reaching space.

"Can't Get It Up"

 

[David Clapson]

Jeff is Snail.

 

[NoXion]

Worth noting that this is a tiny suborbital "hop" and not true orbital spaceflight.
Jeff will just be poking his head into space for 5m of freefall and then coming back down on parachutes. No orbital speed and therefore no reentry. As far as spaceflight goes, it's just about the safest way to do it. The Virgin spaceplane has already had a fatal crash during testing and is a much more hairy ride.

Parachute failure it is then...

 

[weltweit]

Seat next to Bezos sells for $28,000,000 ..

First time humans fly in that capsule, they would need to pay me.

 

[ska invita]

All that tax he avoided, he saved it up and pissed it away on this.

It's incredible isn't it. It's the response of a five year old. Enough to make you nostalgic for Victorian philanthropy.

There's something interesting there about the lack of desire/imagination/connection to leave a mark on this world.

 

[WouldBe]

.

There's something interesting there about the lack of desire/imagination/connection to leave a mark on this world.

A crater would leave a mark on the world.

 

[nogojones]

Worth noting that this is a tiny suborbital "hop" and not true orbital spaceflight.
Jeff will just be poking his head into space for 5m of freefall and then coming back down on parachutes. No orbital speed and therefore no reentry. As far as spaceflight goes, it's just about the safest way to do it. The Virgin spaceplane has already had a fatal crash during testing and is a much more hairy ride.

Crispy bringing us back down to earth with a bump.

Oh well I can live with the hope that Branson will go crisp

 

[MickiQ]

Crispy bringing us back down to earth with a bump.

Oh well I can live with the hope that Branson will go crisp

I think an awful lot of people are hoping that Evil Overlord comes down to Earth with a very large bump but will be greatly disappointed

 

[DaveCinzano]

I think an awful lot of people are hoping that Evil Overlord comes down to Earth

Would be happy if he was just thrown over the back gate TBH

 

[DotCommunist]

There is still plenty to go wrong, the g forces alone could pop his heart, or cause him a stroke like Cas Anvar's character in the Expanse.

 

[MickiQ]

There is still plenty to go wrong, the g forces alone could pop his heart, or cause him a stroke like Cas Anvar's character in the Expanse.

Positive thinking, love it.

 

[DaveCinzano]

There is still plenty to go wrong, the g forces alone could pop his heart, or cause him a stroke like Cas Anvar's character in the Expanse.

If we're thinking Bond villain demises, then I vote for a Dr Kananga

 

[wayward bob]

he's coming back with a slimy symbiotic alien aboard :fingerscrossed:

 

[paul mckenna]

Worth noting that this is a tiny suborbital "hop" and not true orbital spaceflight.
Jeff will just be poking his head into space for 5m of freefall and then coming back down on parachutes. No orbital speed and therefore no reentry. As far as spaceflight goes, it's just about the safest way to do it. The Virgin spaceplane has already had a fatal crash during testing and is a much more hairy ride.

Why is the Virgin Express a more hairy ride? There's less time under rocket propulsion and a wheeled landing, no?

 

[Orang Utan]

Why is the Virgin Express a more hairy ride? There's less time under rocket propulsion and a wheeled landing, no?

Richard Branson is hairier

 

[paul mckenna]

lol. Worth 28 million then for the chromed Bezos

 

[Yuwipi Woman]

he's coming back with a slimy symbiotic alien aboard :fingerscrossed:

How will we tell?

 

[moochedit]

If we're thinking Bond villain demises, then I vote for a Dr Kananga

Drax is the obvious one

 

[fishfinger]

 

[BillRiver]

Do not allow Jeff Bezos to return to Earth​

Sign the Petition

79,958 have signed so far!

 

[MickiQ]

The world's most expensive phallic symbol isn't going to actually achieve escape velocity so once the rocket cuts out then it's coming back down again no matter how many people have signed the petition or even what the wishes of the Evil Overlord himself are. Gravity is inexorable and holds no opinions and plays no favourites. Bezos will return to Earth, the thing everyone will be watching for is whether he comes back down at a much higher velocity than he has planned for.

 

[weltweit]

So, it is now the 22nd, did he go to space?

Oh Fluck it was July ... duh

 

[BillRiver]

Do not allow Jeff Bezos to return to Earth​

Sign the Petition

79,958 have signed so far!

83,973 now

 

[BillRiver]

Winner who paid $30m for space flight with Bezos won’t go due to ‘scheduling conflicts’

"The anonymous winner of a ticket to join billionaire Jeff Bezos in space next week will no longer board the New Shepard spacecraft due to “scheduling conflicts”, Bezos’s Blue Origin company announced on Thursday.
The winner, who paid $29.7m to join one of the world’s richest men in space, will instead be replaced by Oliver Daemen, a recent high school graduate. The 18-year-old took a gap year in 2020 to obtain his private pilot’s license and plans to study physics and innovation management at the Netherlands-based University of Utrecht in September.
Daemen is the son of Joes Daemen, the CEO of Somerset Capital Partners BV, a Netherlands-based investment firm. The cost of Daemen’s ticket, which his father purchased, has yet to be disclosed."

 

[MickiQ]

Winner who paid $30m for space flight with Bezos won’t go due to ‘scheduling conflicts’

"The anonymous winner of a ticket to join billionaire Jeff Bezos in space next week will no longer board the New Shepard spacecraft due to “scheduling conflicts”, Bezos’s Blue Origin company announced on Thursday.
The winner, who paid $29.7m to join one of the world’s richest men in space, will instead be replaced by Oliver Daemen, a recent high school graduate. The 18-year-old took a gap year in 2020 to obtain his private pilot’s license and plans to study physics and innovation management at the Netherlands-based University of Utrecht in September.
Daemen is the son of Joes Daemen, the CEO of Somerset Capital Partners BV, a Netherlands-based investment firm. The cost of Daemen’s ticket, which his father purchased, has yet to be disclosed."

Deamen? that sound very Omen-ish doesn't it? I would lay a modest bet that Ollie's Dad was the original anonymous buyer who's letting his son go instead