Jeff Bezos's space ambitions and the New Shepard spacecraft - news and discussion

[Edie]

I hope it explodes on landing and the horrifically injured Bezos spends the remainder of his fortune researching and developing innovative new prosthetic limb and head-in-a-jar technologies.

Yossarian he’d probably emerge like that bad penny Farage did.

 

[a_chap]

I fondly imagine the rocket / capsule failing during flight and Bezos frantically and hopelessly trying to find contact details for customer services / tech support on the web site as he plunges back to Earth.

Karma.

 

[weltweit]

I fondly imagine the rocket / capsule failing during flight and Bezos frantically and hopelessly trying to find contact details for customer services / tech support on the web site as he plunges back to Earth.

Karma.

People that bought capsules also bought ..

 

[tim]

There are a few certainties in my life.
The first is that I would eat exactly the same diet if I was rich.
I would also not go up in space ...

But would you still grow it in your lavatory cistern?

 

[Raheem]

People that bought capsules also bought ..

Maybe he'll press for the ejector seat and get a message, then another message asking him if he wants to join Prime.

 

[gentlegreen]

But would you still grow it in your lavatory cistern?

No - and I wouldn't actually need to be a millionaire to have a dedicated salad lean-to on my house ...

But what I mean is I wouldn't switch from broccoli to venison

 

[Yossarian]

Ashes to ashes, funk to funky
If Bezos dies, we'll all get drunky

 

[killer b]

The fatality rate for astronauts is 3.2%, those aren't bad odds at all. We could be in luck.

 

[Raheem]

Maybe someone should notify the Amazon streaming recommendations thread.

 

[nogojones]

Fuck it, where did my poll go?

Why bother with a poll. We all know how we want this to end

 

[Yuwipi Woman]

Is anyone taking bets on it failing to launch? Or perhaps, exploding on the launch pad?

 

[DaveCinzano]

Elaborate Capricorn One-style conspiracy involving a spectacular launchpad 'accident' to cover up a pension fund embezzlement

 

[killer b]

I was briefly diverted by reading the 'crew survivability aspects' section of the wikipedia entry on the Columbia Shuttle Disaster, and imagining ol' jeff faced with each one of those challenges in turn.

Space Shuttle Columbia disaster - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org

 

[Crispy]

Aha, an expert! Are you surprised that Jeff is going on the first manned flight?

Yes. 15 flights is not very many. Astronauts have flown on less well tested vehicles (notably the Shuttle, which had 2 on board for its maiden flight!) but they knew the risks when they signed up and were ultimately replaceable. Putting the CEO and funder of your company on the first crewed (we don't say manned any more) flight is reckless. You won't see Musk on one of his rockets till they have 1000s of flights under their belt.

Looks like Branson is throwing his willy into the ring too

Branson may make a last-ditch effort to beat Bezos into space

"At this time, we have not determined the date of our next flight."

arstechnica.com

 

[David Clapson]

That complicates the poll. Now we need options for Beardy to be fried or for both of them to finish themselves. Tough choices. I wonder why a space trip is their ultimate. Maybe it really is the rocket-penis thing?

 

[muscovyduck]

Is his villain origin story that he wanted to be an astronaut but got rejected from astronaut school or something

 

[krtek a houby]

Space is the best place for billionaires.

The cold vacuum of...

 

[AnnO'Neemus]

My poll disappeared and I can't see a way to edit it back in. I give up. It was going to be (1) Jeff returns (2) Jeff is burnt to a crisp. I vote for 2.

(2)

 

[farmerbarleymow]

I vote 2 as well.

 

[cupid_stunt]

The Daily Star's front page take on it.

 

[maomao]

I was briefly diverted by reading the 'crew survivability aspects' section of the wikipedia entry on the Columbia Shuttle Disaster, and imagining ol' jeff faced with each one of those challenges in turn.

Space Shuttle Columbia disaster - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org

I was pretty busy that month but this is the first time I ever noticed that there was a second shuttle disaster in 2003. I think every time anyone mentioned it I must have thought they were talking about the 1986 Challenger incident.

 

[Chilli.s]

All that tax he avoided, he saved it up and pissed it away on this.

 

[Steel Icarus]

The worst thing is they won't appreciate it. It'll just be to say they've done it, maybe a few selfies during. I'd genuinely swap five years of my life for half an hour in that big window on the ISS even if i wasn't allowed to mention it to anyone.

 

[killer b]

I was pretty busy that month but this is the first time I ever noticed that there was a second shuttle disaster in 2003. I think every time anyone mentioned it I must have thought they were talking about the 1986 Challenger incident.

I vaguely remember George Bush's announcement about it. I guess Challenger was much more... dramatic

 

[Orang Utan]

I was pretty busy that month but this is the first time I ever noticed that there was a second shuttle disaster in 2003. I think every time anyone mentioned it I must have thought they were talking about the 1986 Challenger incident.

Yeah I don’t remember that. Perhaps we were focussed on the Iraq/Afghanistan shitshow, or perhaps it’s the Mandela affect lol

 

[maomao]

Yeah I don’t remember that. Perhaps we were focussed on the Iraq/Afghanistan shitshow, or perhaps it’s the Mandela affect lol

I've checked and I was in London for four weeks after two years without break in China. I was probably too busy trying to take all the drugs in existence.

 

[MickiQ]

I remember the Columbia disaster that was the one that broke up on re-entry. I can remember watching it on the box and there were loads of contrails from the debris across the sky. The announcer kept banging on that they didn't know what had happened even though it was glaringly obvious it had broken up.
Space disasters are obviously key moments in my life since I can remember being in morning assembly at school and the headmaster telling us about Apollo 13.
The ideal outcome would be for them to launch at the same time and crash into each other in orbit. I suspect a lot of people will be watching both in the hope that they will hit the ground a lot harder than intended (Evil Overlord probably more so than Beardy)
Both Bezos and Branson are variations on a theme, both of their offerings are about giving the rich something exclusive to talk about at cocktail parties. As Mars is colonised, I suspect there will be loads of things named after Musk but not these two.

 

[glitch hiker]

Wankers

Why can't they go into space like the rest of us: selling our droids to hire a failed smuggler and his pet dog to fly us past the imperial blockade?

Hopefully once in orbit, there will be a coronal mass ejection that pushes them hopelessly out of orbit doomed until the O2 runs out.

 

[killer b]

I just watched a youtube clip that suggested in the Challenger disaster, the astronauts weren't killed in the initial explosion, but were alive and (some of them at least) conscious for the whole time the cabin section of the rocket was plunging towards the earth (some two minutes and 45 seconds). There's a goal for Jeff.

 

[DaveCinzano]

I just watched a youtube clip that suggested in the Challenger disaster, the astronauts weren't killed in the initial explosion, but were alive and (some of them at least) conscious for the whole time the cabin section of the rocket was plunging towards the earth (some two minutes and 45 seconds). There's a goal for Jeff.

Time enough for two whole piss breaks as well