Ian Botham trade Envoy to Australia?

[Serene]

What on earth? Ian Botham the trade envoy to Australia? Are they having a Giraffe? I think they are having a Turkish Bath aint they? Did Salvador Dali chose him? What on earth? I keep thinking I am dreaming, you know, when you are dreaming and nonesensical things happen.

 

[Serene]

Get Phil Tuffnel in to replace Bojo, that would be a big improvement contre nous la tyranie.

 

[two sheds]

I think you're all being unfair here, whenever there's a lull in the conversation he can regale them with ball-by-ball recountings of his five-wicket hauls and centuries that destroyed Australia.

 

[Wilf]

Isn't there a tradition of sending our brightest and best out there as trade envoys?

 

[Elpenor]

Failed In London, Try Hobart?

 

[Serene]

Failed In London, Try Hobart?

Quote - The Hobart Convict Penitentiary, or as it was known by its inhabitants, the Tench, was built in the early 1830s to accommodate the growing number of convicts making their way into the colony.

 

[stavros]

Isn't there a tradition of sending our brightest and best out there as trade envoys?

A former trade envoy, earlier in his career:

 

[DaveCinzano]

What on earth? Ian Botham the trade envoy to Australia?

Well obviously Allan Lamb was earmarked for New Zealand, so the Oz gig went Beefy.

 

[Serene]

Cricketers all have nicknames given to them by their team-mates. Also Cricket is steeped in feminism.

 

[Serene]

How come Cricketers are all too soft to play in the rain?

 

[Serene]

We can sell the Aussies some knives and forks. Only 5 percent of Aussies use cutlery, which they call " eating irons ". The rest of them are still using their fingers. The figures are the same for them wearing shoes. Botham will likely swap some knives and forks with them for bottles of Aussie white wine. That will be the total trade.

 

[two sheds]

Time to invest in UK Cricket Ball manufacturers

 

[Boris Sprinkler]

I got married very young. My father in law, rest his sole, was a lovely man. Really decent man. But quite conservative. Liked his cricket. That kind of thing. He took me to these cricket dinners for his club. No girls at all. Well shit. Luckily one of my old school mates was there as his Dad was in this club too. So it wasn’t all nobbers, but a fair share.
I never played cricket at school, never got to be my turn to bat. Wasn’t my thing.
This cricket club would always have an after dinner speaker. An old cricketer, doing the after dinner circuit.
Tell some fucking cricket story. - stralia mate
Everyone’s beered up - stralia
Large amount of dickheads - oz
Make em laugh - bonza

Botham has just got the easiest job in the world ever. It just grates cos he’s such a prick.

 

[Serene]

Geoff Boycott said that Cricket died the day they started letting Australians into the Pavilion at Lords.

 

[Dom Traynor]

Well obviously Allan Lamb was earmarked for New Zealand, so the Oz gig went Beefy.

We've got Noel Edmonds out here he could do the job.

 

[krtek a houby]

We can sell the Aussies some knives and forks. Only 5 percent of Aussies use cutlery, which they call " eating irons ". The rest of them are still using their fingers. The figures are the same for them wearing shoes. Botham will likely swap some knives and forks with them for bottles of Aussie white wine. That will be the total trade.

Nope

 

[Shippou-Sensei]

It just an extension of his baked bean hustle.

 

[Wilf]

Botham is remarkably thick.

 

[ohmyliver]

I miss the days when British politics was distinguishable from British political satire

 

[Badgers]

Ian Botham laments affair with Australian waitress that cost him 'nearly everything'

Sir Ian Botham has told how an affair with an Australian waitress cost him ‘‘nearly everything’’ and woke him up to the fact that he had been a terrible husband and father.

www.smh.com.au

 

[Sprocket.]

Well he hasn’t convinced me and I’m old and gullible, maybe he will just hobble back to the retirement pavilion.

 

[two sheds]

And he could stick it on his head for brain stimulation.

 

[Serene]

We've got Noel Edmonds out here he could do the job.

Is Noel Edmonds on the run down there? I seem to remember he refused to pay his BBC TV license and allegedly developed a Koresh type cult around it where he said he had the key to immortality.

 

[UrbaneFox]

Botham is remarkably thick.

Can't be any worse than Prince Andrew.

Is that how they choose them?

 

[Wilf]

Ian Botham laments affair with Australian waitress that cost him 'nearly everything'

Sir Ian Botham has told how an affair with an Australian waitress cost him ‘‘nearly everything’’ and woke him up to the fact that he had been a terrible husband and father.

www.smh.com.au

That's a strange tale of redemption - there's not one single word in there that makes him look a better human being.

 

[Wilf]

I miss the days when British politics was distinguishable from British political satire

Putting him in the lords and then giving him this job feels like a deliberate act of 'fuck you corbynysta wokeists'. I'm wondering what a left wing version would be. Making Owen Jones arms services minister?