I got an email about what is REALLY going on with England players

[1%er]

This morning I have received an email from the brother of a reporter who is working at the world Cup.

He say this is the real story of the England squad.

One player has knocked up a teenage girl (the sister of his wife apparently), can't name him as there is a gagging order for another 10 days or so. (this is the 3rd under 18 year old he has done this to, so it is claimed)

A Liverpool player has signed for Real Madrid and lots of gossip about how the players took sides and who they supported, can't give details as it would out the person with the gagging order.

Other rumours:
1) Rooney playing with double hernia apparently
2) Beckham was fitter than Barry and some players and Capello wanted him picked but FA refused cause they wanted him for PR for 2018 bid.
3) Ferdinand already injured before tournament after falling down stairs while pissed up. Tried to hide injury but collapsed during training.
4) One player fucked a hotel employee in South Africa and it is on CCTV.

If you want a copy of the email I'll send it via PM

(I'm not in England so this could already be all over your newspapers )

 

[TrippyLondoner]

 

[Badgers]

Mostly crap, all boring, all over twitter for weeks/months, some 'facts' in The Star newspaper today....

 

[Ranbay]

turefax?

 

[1%er]

I have no idea about any of it I haven't been in England for over a year.

I just thought as it comes from a good source it may be interesting to some England fans.

 

[g force]

Can we bin this - its total bollocks. That 'gagging order' story's been around for months and was already shown to be total lies...as the player in questions wife doesn't have a sister

"good source" my arse

 

[Badgers]

One player has knocked up a teenage girl (the sister of his wife apparently) can't name him as there is a gagging order

You can't name Gerrard?
Gerrard whose wife Alex has not got a sister, just two brothers

 

[Badgers]

a good source it may be interesting to some England fans.

Tell us more, more, moar

 

[Teaboy]

I'd say about 1% of this is accurate, which is ironic really.

 

[Lord Camomile]

You can't name Gerrard?
Gerrard whose wife Alex has not got a sister, just two brothers

Don't come on here with your 'facts', this ain't the place for you

Anyway, I heard she does have a sister but she's been hidden in a Polish convent as she's the secret daughter of...

Tommy Cooper

 

[Badgers]

Ohhh.....THAT sister?

 

[Lord Camomile]

Shhhh

 

[Badgers]

So if you are not in England 1%er where are you?

 

[Gromit]

If only this was all true.

If it was I'd dress up as somone's attractive attractive sister in an attempt to spoil England's chances against Wales in the next qualifyers.

 

[Onket]

I'd say about 1% of this is accurate, which is ironic really.

Even if it was 100% true, surely no-one is actually interested in this braindead vacant gossip?

 

[Lord Camomile]

If it's had any effect on (and subsequently can be used as an excuse for) England's performance in the World Cup then I am both interested and furious

 

[Onket]

Do people actually care that much then?

 

[1%er]

Hey I have no idea about what is in the English news or on twitter.

As I said I got an email from the brother of someone who I know is a sports journalist and has been for over 12 years. It lists loads of stuff that has come from other players apparently and thought maybe some sad England fans may like to read what is being said.

I couldn't give a shit myself as the last time I saw England win anything was 1966, since then I have watch they play crap football so have no illusion that they will win anything with the players they have now, this side has played in the last 3 Euros and two world cups and done nothing, why do they keep picking the players who have lost.

Anyway as it is apparently not news in the UK I'll post the whole email


this is the gossip mill over England players from Tony:...............................................

You've probably heard about Gerrard - having got a teenage girl pregnant (some say his wife's sister), while his wife is shagging Kris Commons! The press have had a gagging order placed on them til the world cup was over, extended by 2 weeks while Cappelo's future is decided.

This whole affair was the cause of the massive rift in the dressing room, with JT deposed as captain and Stevie G taking on captains duties before this one came out causing big problems:

Gerrard has already signed for Real Madrid as well apparently.

Players in support of Terry were A.Cole, J.Cole, Defoe, Wright-Philips, King and Carragher!

Players in support of Gerrard were Rooney, James, Upson, Johnson, Lampard, Barry, Crouch and Beckham

Terry allies are mainly Chelsea, ex chelsea players. Carragher is just bitter and twisted that Gerrard is still Mr Liverpool even with all the allegations.

Gerrard supporters mainly the more intelligent members of the team who see Terry as the brainless fuckwit who still think its great to be given £10,000 in cash for showing people round Chelsea training ground when he earns £160000 a week. Also they are friends with Bridge.

Lampard can't stand Terry as well. Thinks he's thick as pig shit and a nasty piece of work that's only looking out for himself.

Gerrard does like them young. Liverpool have already paid off two 16 year olds in the last 5 years that Gerrard has had affairs with.

On other rumours:-
1) Rooney playing with double hernia apparently
2) Beckham was fitter than Barry and some players and Capello wanted him picked but FA refused cause they wanted him for PR for 2018 bid.
3) Ferdinand already injured before tournament after falling down stairs while pissed up. Tried to hide injury but collapsed during training.
4) J.Terry fucked a hotel employee and it is on CCTV.

 

[Orangesanlemons]

These emails ALWAYS come from a friend who's a reliable source because he "told me about ... going to ... before the news broke" / "was spot-on about ... getting arrested for ..." / "was right about the embargo on the NOTW mentioning ... banging up ... 's sister, you'll see, it'll be in the papers this Sunday"

I'm so fucking bored of this bullshit now....

 

[Lord Camomile]

Do people actually care that much then?

YEEEEEEEEEESSSSS

(Sort of, a bit, in a manner I know I shouldn't )

 

[Badgers]

So what?

 

[stupid dogbot]

Well, as we all know, it's not technically possible for lies or mistruths to be transmitted via email, so this *must* all be true.

 

[DotCommunist]

Ashley Cole deffo stuck a phone up his arse though. You cannot take that from me.

 

[Onket]

Ashley Cole deffo stuck a phone up his arse though. You cannot take that from me.

I think that one was actually proven.

 

[Badgers]

George Best must be turning in his grave (if he was English)

 

[DRINK?]

some of it is true this for example

he's thick as pig shit and a nasty piece of work that's only looking out for himself.

 

[1%er]

So if you are not in England 1%er where are you?

I haven't lived in the UK for over 30 years.

Well as my posts in this section say, I am currently in Manaus, last time I was in England was June last year, I went for 2 weeks but left after 8 days, it was very depressing and has got a lot worse so I'm told

 

[Ranbay]

yeah it's like well bad and shit now bruv... safe

 

[Badgers]

I haven't lived in the UK for over 30 years.

Well as my posts in this section say, I am currently in Manaus, last time I was in England was June last year, I went for 2 weeks but left after 8 days, it was very depressing and has got a lot worse so I'm told

Fair enough...

England is always a bit shit but we like it like that.
Queuing, moaning, rain, failing at football, that sorta thing makes us the people we are.

Are you near the Manaus Favela slums?

 

[Onket]

yeah it's like well bad and shit now bruv... safe

I heard it was 'broken'.