Expressions or requirements that put you off applying for a job

[Cloo]

I saw one today that was a startup and wanted full-time in the office, which to me said 'we want lots of your life and we won't pay enough to make it worth it'

TBH, any job that I'm going for that wants full time office attendence is probably talking crap because the sort of work I do does not require being in the office at all necessarily. I'd consider 3 days a reasonable maximum really.

 

[8ball]

It would depend on the job, but if the ad gives the impression of trying too hard to be my mate, then I'm out.

 

[weepiper]

"Competitive salary" when they mean minimum wage.

 

[Cloo]

"Competitive salary" when they mean minimum wage.

I've replied for some saying that if I think the level of job or size of organisation is likely to pay enough, but it's kind of a guessing game.

 

[nottsgirl]

Too many uses of the word “excellent” in the requirements. I’m just not that special.

 

[nottsgirl]

I can’t remember what the phrasing is but there’s something they say that makes the existing team sound massively bitchy and cliquey. That always puts me off.

 

[cesare]

Too many uses of the word “excellent” in the requirements. I’m just not that special.

I bet you are. But maybe not to an employer.

 

[cesare]

"Competitive salary" when they mean minimum wage.

Absolutely this. I always distrust an ad where the salary/range isn't transparent.

 

[weepiper]

Absolutely this. I always distrust an ad where the salary/range isn't transparent.

Yeah, just tell me what the actual money you are willing to pay is so I can decide whether or not to waste my and your time applying for it.

 

[cesare]

Yeah, just tell me what the actual money you are willing to pay is so I can decide whether or not to waste my and your time applying for it.

Exactly!

 

[Mumbles274]

I can’t remember what the phrasing is but there’s something they say that makes the existing team sound massively bitchy and cliquey. That always puts me off.

Tight knit?

 

[Silas Loom]

I can’t remember what the phrasing is but there’s something they say that makes the existing team sound massively bitchy and cliquey. That always puts me off.

Work hard play hard?

That also clues for a vile, dog eat dog, sales environment, though.

 

[cesare]

"matrix management" pisses me off too. It usually means that about 5 different line managers are competing for the resource that's you.

 

[Sue]

One I saw recently after it was seemingly out of vogue for years:

'Work hard, play hard' environment.'

ETA Damn you, Silas Loom .

 

[weepiper]

One I saw recently after it was seemingly out of vogue for years:

'Work hard, play hard' environment.'

Code for "cunty Tory extroverts".

 

[Sue]

Code for "cunty Tory extroverts".

And 'we expect you to spend long, long hours working with a load of twats and then we expect you to spend some of the little free time you have got socialising with them and putting up with practical jokes.' Just me?

 

[Elpenor]

One I saw recently after it was seemingly out of vogue for years:

'Work hard, play hard' environment.'

ETA Damn you, Silas Loom .

 

[Silas Loom]

ETA Damn you, Silas Loom .

That would certainly put me off a job ad.

 

[8ball]

And 'we expect you to spend long, long hours working with a load of twats and then we expect you to spend some of the little free time you have got socialising with them and putting up with practical jokes.' Just me?

At the very, very, least it means being expected to spend a lot of time in the pub with them if you want to get anywhere.

 

[heinous seamus]

Strong work ethic, outgoing personality, good customer service skills - basically every job advert

 

[cesare]

Strong work ethic, outgoing personality, good customer service skills - basically every job advert

Strong work ethic = work for free

 

[Sue]

One beloved by recruitment agents is 'my client only hires top candidates from top universities/companies.'

Recruitment agent thinks: This flattery thing never fails!

Anyone normal thinks: Well that's a very stupid and narrowminded attitude to have, they must miss out on loads of really good people with that kind of thinking. (And what even is a top candidate/top university/top company anyway?) Fuck that for a game of soldiers.

 

[cesare]

"opportunity to earn up to. " = Commission only

 

[Silas Loom]

“Starter basic” = commission only

 

[Silas Loom]

“Opportunity” + “motivated” = Multi level marketing grift.

 

[Idaho]

With a passion for (insert thing literally no-one has passion for).

 

[UnderOpenSky]

With a passion for (insert thing literally no-one has passion for).

 

[mojo pixy]

With a passion for (insert thing literally no-one has passion for).

There is one job I can think of where a passion for customer satisfaction would be useful, but it's not a job you tend to see recruitment ads for.

 

[ouirdeaux]

I have never really understood the language of job adverts -- I mean, how much are you supposed to take seriously or at least pretend to take seriously, and how much is pure convention? I once saw an advert for a promoter of tourism for Milton Keynes. I could only wonder what the interview would be like -- would everyone be silently sniggering as you outlined your proposals for attracting the previously oblivious hordes of visitors? Perhaps I should have applied to find out. It's the cover letter that would have been the problem.

 

[Orang Utan]

Absolutely this. I always distrust an ad where the salary/range isn't transparent.

Came here to say the same.
Also, publishing pro-rata salaries instead of actual salaries