Dullest Film Ever

[muser]

worst films

I had to respond twice on this thread, I agree with Orang utan, some of you are barbarians, and to put it mildly c*ntish. Tarantino is a superb director, hardly puts a foot wrong. Some people on here are naming good films just to bring attention on themselves. If we all went to the cinema and had to watch these films that everyone is calling rubbish, and then I put on "what dreams may come" with Robin Williams. Then we had to stay and watch all these films again we would all have commited suicide by opening credits of this one.
Apart from "Prozac nation", this is the only other film I have stopped half way through and I have sat through Chronicles of Riddicks, I mentioned that just so you know what I'm prepared to go through.

 

[upsidedownwalrus]

fo' sho'

nothing with that dum-dum-dum-dum-dum theme music could ever be boring!

I actually thought "For Your Eyes Only" was a bit boring, but yeah the other two crap Moore Bond films, Octopussy and View To a Kill, are far from boring. They're entertaining. Just a bit crap.

 

[nightqueen]

Pearl Harbour. I tried i really did.

 

[upsidedownwalrus]

I had to respond twice on this thread, I agree with Orang utan, some of you are barbarians, and to put it mildly c*ntish. Tarantino is a superb director, hardly puts a foot wrong. Some people on here are naming good films just to bring attention on themselves. If we all went to the cinema and had to watch these films that everyone is calling rubbish, and then I put on "what dreams may come" with Robin Williams. Then we had to stay and watch all these films again we would all have commited suicide by opening credits of this one.
Apart from "Prozac nation", this is the only other film I have stopped half way through and I have sat through Chronicles of Riddicks, I mentioned that just so you know what I'm prepared to go through.

I have an American friend who thinks What Dreams May come is a masterpiece.

I told him how badly received it was in the UK and he muttered something like "Brits are fucked up"...

 

[LJo]

The phantom menace will grow on naysayers as will the matrix sequels, which are more in keeping with great endings but not what was expected.

NOT TRUE NOT TRUE NOT TRUE.

And in my entire life only two films out of the many thousands I have seen, sworn never to see again, and been forced to sit through a second time because 'they'll grow on you' ever actually did. And neither of them were the Phantom Menace and the frickin' Matrix wankfest sequels.

And when I say 'thousands', I'm not exaggerating.

 

[Orang Utan]

And in my entire life only two films out of the many thousands I have seen, sworn never to see again, and been forced to sit through a second time because 'they'll grow on you' ever actually did.

What were they?

 

[Barking_Mad]

Meet Joe Black - Jesus that is dull, long and shite.

 

[kyser_soze]

Muser...sometimes I suspect there is a little bit of contrariness for the sake of looking cool when it comes to music, TV and film criticism on here, (and I agree with the barbarian comment re: Tarantino too) but you're kinda digging a hole when you have a go at Flash Gordon and 'anything with Vin Diesel' - Pitch Black is a more than watchable movie, as is The Fast and The Furious a more than adequate popcorn switch-brain-off-for 90-minutes - your dislikes in movies are no less subjective than anyone elses.

 

[kyser_soze]

I have an American friend who thinks What Dreams May come is a masterpiece.

I told him how badly received it was in the UK and he muttered something like "Brits are fucked up"...

Is that the Robin Williams coma/death thing with all the really amazing CGI landscapes and stuff?

That was AWFUL.

 

[dormouse]

Mishima. I didn't want to see it but the boyfriend was dead keen. He fell asleep after ten minutes. I had to sit through all of it. Also The Piano. There's a reason that's the last film I ever saw.

 

[Orang Utan]

Mishima. I didn't want to see it but the boyfriend was dead keen. He fell asleep after ten minutes. I had to sit through all of it.

Surely you could have switched it off after he fell asleep.

Also The Piano. There's a reason that's the last film I ever saw.

You mean you haven't seen a film since?

 

[dormouse]

Surely you could have switched it off after he fell asleep.

I think the others in the cinema might have objected! Some of them were awake...

You mean you haven't seen a film since?

Don't think so. I'm not very good at sitting watching things (except for the world going by, through a train window).
Ooops yes I have - Crouching Tiger leaping thingy - that was ok.

 

[Brainaddict]

Mishima. I didn't want to see it but the boyfriend was dead keen. He fell asleep after ten minutes. I had to sit through all of it. Also The Piano. There's a reason that's the last film I ever saw.

would you read a boring book and decide never to read again? or hear a dull piece of music and decide never to listen to music again?

 

[dormouse]

would you read a boring book and decide never to read again? or hear a dull piece of music and decide never to listen to music again?

No, I've just lost faith in my ability to identify a watchable film!

 

[upsidedownwalrus]

Is that the Robin Williams coma/death thing with all the really amazing CGI landscapes and stuff?

That was AWFUL.

Yep. Appalling.

 

[mysterybadger]

I haven't seen the original Solaris but the remake with Clooney was horribly dull. The Hours is also thoroughly tedious. Oh, and let's not forget Dune, the only film which has put me to sleep TWICE!

The original Solaris is not so much dull as slow-moving, or at least dull in a way that only a work of genius can get away with. It's like Henry Kissinger said "when I bore people at a party, they think it's their fault".

The Solaris remake is just plain dull. Lost in Translation is even duller but probably misses the prize be being very irritating as well.

 

[upsidedownwalrus]

No, I've just lost faith in my ability to identify a watchable film!

I actually pity you a bit... I find watching films one of life's pleasures. Even crap ones, sometimes...

 

[kyser_soze]

Horses for courses really tho. I've actually met someone who doesn't like music - and at the time I met them they were 22 years old!!! And they still avoid it. All forms.

It actually took me about 3 months of knowing them before I really believed them as well...

 

[trashpony]

Horses for courses really tho. I've actually met someone who doesn't like music - and at the time I met them they were 22 years old!!! And they still avoid it. All forms.

It actually took me about 3 months of knowing them before I really believed them as well...

I used to go out with a bloke who had never connected his stereo up as 'I'm not that interested in music'. That was pretty much the end of that relationship

 

[Orang Utan]

I once worked with a lass who didn't like music.
We worked at Virgin Megastore.

 

[Truly Topcat]

Titanic.

Makes me yawn just typing the name out. Most inane pile of bolocks I have ever witnessed.

Gangs of New York pushed it close though. Don't know about you but I am noticing a theme here...

 

[upsidedownwalrus]

Horses for courses really tho. I've actually met someone who doesn't like music - and at the time I met them they were 22 years old!!! And they still avoid it. All forms.

It actually took me about 3 months of knowing them before I really believed them as well...

True. Not liking music is even wierder. I only got into films in a big way in the past few years, whereas I've always been a music lover.

A friend had a roommate (as in literal sharing a room, as opposed to the american meaning of 'somone you share a house with) at Uni (in Halls) who didn't like any music other than guns n roses - and he only had ONE tape - that was his music collection...

 

[Mrs Magpie]

I saw an Andy Warhol film in the 70s that was like watching paint dry. Can't remember what it was called though, and anyway I fell asleep.

 

[Truly Topcat]

2001 A Space odysey - What on earth was that all about?

 

[Jayshat]

Gruesome twosome: Young Adam & Hollywood Homicide...

I blame Blockbusters and their enticing 3 for £3 offer. Damn them!

 

[kyser_soze]

True. Not liking music is even wierder. I only got into films in a big way in the past few years, whereas I've always been a music lover.

A friend had a roommate (as in literal sharing a room, as opposed to the american meaning of 'somone you share a house with) at Uni (in Halls) who didn't like any music other than guns n roses - and he only had ONE tape - that was his music collection...

I reckon that if yr mate had killed him with that tape by oh, I don't know, shoving it so far down his throat his hand was covered in shit when he pulled it out, any judge would have agreed that there was provocation.

I mean I like G'n'R - Appetite is one of my fave albums - but playing it over and over and over...in the US e'd have been violating the cruel and unusual punishment clause in the consitution...

 

[Truly Topcat]

Although it wasn't exactly dull, the ending of Bladerunner also somewhat bemused me and thus detracted from the rest of the film.

 

[Orang Utan]

Which ending?

 

[muser]

worst film ever

Kyser, you agreed with what dreams may come, I haven't seen the fast and the furious, and pitch black was fine. I admit I was being a bit too general with Vin Diesel, but he is a truly awful actor, even in pitch black you had to overlook some of his acting and concentrate on the film itself. So in that respect he is awful in anything he has been in.
Another film is Valentines day, but it falls into that category of so bad its funny. It has randy quaid in it. Watch it with puff, and make sure its your dealer's best sativa.

 

[upsidedownwalrus]

I reckon that if yr mate had killed him with that tape by oh, I don't know, shoving it so far down his throat his hand was covered in shit when he pulled it out, any judge would have agreed that there was provocation.

I mean I like G'n'R - Appetite is one of my fave albums - but playing it over and over and over...in the US e'd have been violating the cruel and unusual punishment clause in the consitution...

He didn't even have Appetite. Just the weaker of the two "Illusion" albums (One)...

Luckily he didn't play it that often (because my mate was always blaring out music)....