Could you decorate a flat for less than 200 thousand pounds?

[Serene]

If you move into a flat that has recently been refurbished with John Lewis furniture and wallpaper nightmare and you dont have between a hundred and two hundred thousand pounds to spend would you be able to do it? Would you hire an internal designer to install an aesthetic colonialism chic? Also if you had the money, how would you bankroll it so that you didnt have to pay for any of it?

 

[Zapp Brannigan]

If you move into a flat that has recently been refurbished with John Lewis furniture and wallpaper nightmare and you dont have between a hundred and two hundred thousand pounds to spend would you be able to do it? Would you hire an internal designer to install an aesthetic colonialism chic? Also if you had the money, how would you bankroll it so that you didnt have to pay for any of it?

Give me the land and I could build a house from scratch for £100-200k

 

[two sheds]

The wallpaper would be atrocious though.

 

[Serene]

The wallpaper would be atrocious though.

You mean we would have to put up with John Lewis tat? I am not accepting wallpaper without solid gold leaf on it. And I am not prepared to pay out of my own money.

 

[UnderOpenSky]

Tin of paint right?

 

[Clair De Lune]

 

[Zapp Brannigan]

The wallpaper would be atrocious though.

The wallpaper would be something perfectly pleasant sourced from that there internet, or from Wickes, B & Q, maybe even splash out on some Dunelm Mill for a feature wall.

Oh, and if there's a slopey ceiling over the stairs, i'm having the star wars intro text.

 

[Serene]

Tin of paint right?

I am above middle class and I will not accept anything less than the standard of Versaille. And I shant be paying for it out of my own money.

 

[Kevbad the Bad]

I reckon I could do it with something in the reason of half a million quid. Estimate, not a quote.

 

[Clair De Lune]

I am above middle class and I will not accept anything less than the standard of Versaille. And I shant be paying for it out of my own money.

Then you're really slumming it love. A flat?? Isn't that what poor people keep all their awful cheap tat and children in?

 

[UnderOpenSky]

Then you're really slumming it love. A flat?? Isn't that what poor people keep all their awful cheap tat and children in?

Unless they live in London (I suppose someone must)

 

[Serene]

I reckon I could do it with something in the reason of half a million quid. Estimate, not a quote.

This sounds more in line. I dont want Keir Starmer asking questions in Prime Ministers though.

 

[tony.c]

Tin of paint right?

More than one, unless you have a tiny flat. I redecorated my flat two years ago, it took six tins of emulsion for the walls, and two tins of gloss for doors, windows and skirting boards. I didn't so the ceilings though.

 

[UnderOpenSky]

More than one, unless you have a tiny flat. I redecorated my flat two years ago, it took six tins of emulsion for the walls, and two tins of gloss for doors and skirting boards. I didn't so the ceilings though.

Big tins of value magnolia. Sorted.

 

[tony.c]

Big tins of value magnolia. Sorted.

But magnolia is so 70s.

 

[prunus]

But magnolia is so 70s.

Nowadays it’s #mgnl

 

[Serene]

I dont want Cummings knowing about this. I am budgeting for two hundred and fifty grand, and I shant be using my own money.

 

[MickiQ]

My extension which added four rooms to the house including an all new kitchen cost less that half the cost of decorating the flat we're all talking about. The Halifax paid for it and I spent the next decade giving them the money back.
Just what the fuck did he spend all that dosh on?

 

[mauvais]

I'm surprised you're asking. I think I could easily manage this. I can't see it being more than £100k.

Arrested Development Narrator: In fact, he could not easily manage this, the cost was £5.6 million, and sixteen people died.

 

[Yossarian]

The wallpaper would be atrocious though.

With £200K you could wallpaper around 2,000 square feet with £20 notes, allowing you to both display your wealth and peel a bit of it off every time you couldn't be bothered going to a cashpoint.

 

[Serene]

Normally I wont settle for less than William Morris wallpaper, but as I am concubine status gold leaf will suffice for now.

 

[Serene]

Anything less than Versailles standard would look tacky. I dont want any cheap, mass produced furniture, if it isnt bespoke it isnt getting through the front door at number 10. I shant tolerate any horrific middle class self-assembly furniture either.

 

[fishfinger]

But magnolia is so 70s.

That's ok, Johnson's flat looks like a '70s Indian restaurant.

 

[A380]

Them pole dancing poles don’t come cheap. Especially if you had to put floor and ceiling anchors in capable of supporting 19 stone of gyrating greased up old Etonian.

 

[beesonthewhatnow]

Them pole dancing poles don’t come cheap. Especially if you had to put floor and ceiling anchors in capable of supporting 19 stone of gyrating greased up old Etonian.

Well, that’s my days mental serenity ruined.

 

[tony.c]

That's ok, Johnson's flat looks like a '70s Indian restaurant.

70s Indian retaurants had flock wallpaper, not magnolia paint.

 

[fishfinger]

70s Indian retaurants had flock wallpaper, not magnolia paint.

It would be period appropriate, though.

 

[Serene]

I trust that you wont suggest reproduction artwork. If its from the Tate shop it is a print. Dont worry about being paid, just dont ask where its from.

 

[mauvais]

That's ok, Johnson's flat looks like a '70s Indian restaurant.

I don't think we've seen the flat yet, FWIW. That very red photo with the sofa was the designer's own flat.

 

[fishfinger]

I don't think we've seen the flat yet, FWIW. That very red photo with the sofa was the designer's own flat.

Oh.