Colonoscopy - Toilet status: those updates you need to know

[editor]

Phew, that was bloody close. After some research I can reveal some important information:

If you're ever in a similar position of having taken CitraFleet, DO NOT FART. You will get a tsunami follow-through.

Luckily I was in position when I checked this fact.

 

[editor]

Update: It's now becoming bloody grim. Me and the loo are going to be near-inseparable by the end of today. I've discarded my trousers as anything that gets in the way of a 'quick-release' could prove perilous.

And I am STARVING!

 

[gentlegreen]

Maybe everyone should have at least one go on citro-wotsit to get them to eat more fibre
(or is my logic skewed ?)

 

[isvicthere?]

Update: It's now becoming bloody grim. Me and the loo are going to be near-inseparable by the end of today. I've discarded my trousers as anything that gets in the way of a 'quick-release' could prove perilous.

And I am STARVING!

Too much information, editor!

 

[andysays]

Do you have a lock on your bathroom door?

Asking for a 'friend'...

 

[StoneRoad]

Been there, done that, editor

Difficult as it sounds, relax and allow things to take their course.
Hope the hospital visit goes well ...

 

[kebabking]

Lord of The Rings, and a full pack of wet wipes.

Do you not have deliveroo in that there Lundun?

 

[Calamity1971]

Do you not have deliveroo in that there Lundun

Or deliverloo

 

[editor]

Do you not have deliveroo in that there Lundun?

No eating for over 24 hours. Not even a biscuit.

 

[kebabking]

No eating for over 24 hours. Not even a biscuit.

You have my sympathy.

Hope it all goes well.

 

[littlebabyjesus]

Update: It's now becoming bloody grim. Me and the loo are going to be near-inseparable by the end of today. I've discarded my trousers as anything that gets in the way of a 'quick-release' could prove perilous.

And I am STARVING!

Has anything interesting come out yet, like a marble you swallowed when you were 12?

 

[editor]

 

[Argonia]

Update: It's now becoming bloody grim. Me and the loo are going to be near-inseparable by the end of today. I've discarded my trousers as anything that gets in the way of a 'quick-release' could prove perilous.

And I am STARVING!

Do you have to visit the hospital? How is that going to work if you're trouser-less?

 

[2hats]

I had a colonoscopy and gastroscopy a few years back. Started taking the sweet plastic laxative gunk around 7pm the night before. World fell out of my arse within about 2 hours and didn't stop until about 6am. Top tip: have lots of wet wipes within reach - even the softest, puppy tested, quilted, premium toilet tissue feels like P12 sandpaper by the several hundredth wipe. On the plus side the doctor congratulated me on having the cleanest bowels she had ever seen and, because I had to take public transport there and back, I got to toke deep and long on the NO2.

 

[editor]

Do you have to visit the hospital? How is that going to work if you're trouser-less?

I'm hoping the vast ocean of brown liquid will have finally been depleted by the time I head off to the hospital in the morning. If not, I'll hire a motorised potty.

 

[May Kasahara]

The report from my colonoscopy claimed my bowel prep was 'poor' Not from where I was bloody sitting, it wasn't!

 

[Baronage-Phase]

Know the feeling. Had a gastroscopy and colonoscopy on the same day a couple of years ago.
The toilet and I were inseparable beforehand.
Hope all goes well for you with tests.

 

[farmerbarleymow]

Good luck at the hospital Ed. Sounds like you're having a shit time today.

 

[fucthest8]

No eating for over 24 hours. Not even a biscuit.

I would really, really struggle with that. Presumably you can drink water at least? Don't suppose it will stay in though
Miserable.

Anyway, hope the hospital trip goes okay.

 

[JuanTwoThree]

Sometimes the bottom falls out of your world

Other times the world falls out of your bottom

 

[editor]

I would really, really struggle with that. Presumably you can drink water at least? Don't suppose it will stay in though
Miserable.

Anyway, hope the hospital trip goes okay.

I can drink water, tea and coffee and clear 'broth' like soups, none of which seem to exist unless you like chicken.

 

[Baronage-Phase]

I can drink water, tea and coffee and clear 'broth' like soups, none of which seem to exist unless you like chicken.

How about bovril?

 

[dessiato]

Could you, for example, drink squash, Coke, beer, etc? They might help you keep up your calories intake while not putting anything into the bowel. Just a thought.

 

[cupid_stunt]

Could you, for example, drink squash, Coke, beer, etc? They might help you keep up your calories intake while not putting anything into the bowel. Just a thought.

There's an idea, lots of beer, get shit faced.

 

[editor]

Could you, for example, drink squash, Coke, beer, etc? They might help you keep up your calories intake while not putting anything into the bowel. Just a thought.

Drink clear fluids only today. This may include water, squash, fizzy drinks, clear strained soup or clear stock. Aim for two litres (about eight to ten glasses) in total throughout the day not including the bowel preparation. • You can drink tea or coffee with small splash of milk.

 

[editor]

There's an idea, lots of beer, get shit faced.

Beer is verboten

 

[cupid_stunt]

Drink clear fluids only today - vodka or gin.

 

[petee]

word from experience: it isn't over till it's over. you may think it's over, and it won't be over. stay within one room of the bathroom.

next to this the actual procedure is nothing. pleasant even, when they give you the propofol.

 

[farmerbarleymow]

I suppose you end up with a sparkly clean set of bowels that'd make Mr Sheen proud.

 

[editor]

I've just had the thinnest 'soup' imaginable. Mmmm!