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C'mon, share your opinion of the '10 most viewed properties' of 2021

Cloo

Cloo

Banana for scale
Release your inner critic/bitch on these homes!

www.huffingtonpost.co.uk

The 10 Most Viewed Properties On Rightmove In 2021 Will Give You Total House Envy

Luxury kitchens? Home spas? Outdoor bar areas? Yes please.
www.huffingtonpost.co.uk www.huffingtonpost.co.uk

1. Weird Elizabethan eco-house hybrid. Bland rent-an-interior-decorator chic indoors, just looks like a hotel rather than a home.

2. Ugly house, stunning view, owned by people with no clue how to furnish or decorate

3. US-style McMansion ahoy! More beige interior decorator style, with the odd pseudo-Banksy to look a bit 'edgy'

4. Actually quite like the decor, lovely grounds

5. In a lovely village that I know a bit, not sure if building is nice or ugly, tbf probably a bit of a mess overall. Not keen on antique-y decor. That library tho.

6. Probably not one for me, but DAMN, those views!

7. I've seen this one before. It looks like a 90s office building outside Reading. Also it costs £10m (or did when i saw it before) but I think the 'artwork' in it is literally worth less than the stuff in my 4-bed terrace. Who has that kind of money and doesn't buy decent art?!

8. Picture 5. What the actual FUCK is going on with the architecture of this place? It makes literally no sense. Any of the individual components on its own might be quite nice but not in one building. Some of the decor isn't that bad, but generic 'Ooh, I want a bit Bohemian' interior decorator.

9. Like the long hallway with stairs. Lots of griege and something generally a bit unfriendly about the layout.

10. Amazing views, cheapass decor (70s rock star?)
 
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I really like No 3 (have I got £4.75m notes, checks bank balance, nope so bugger that then)
By viewed do they mean folks have been there and had a look around or just clicked on the link? I'm sure there are lots like me who've just looked at the link and felt suitably envious of how the rich live.
It's a bit like these tours of the star's houses in Hollywood.
 
1) I mean, I wouldn't say no, but it's not my style in any sense at all. Too much white, too bare, ugly, weirdly cheap looking. And I'm not a fan of enormous windows right in front of the bed you're sleeping in - no window coverings will get dark enough. Lovely views though.

2) One of the estate agents is named Lillicrap :D Bit too beige, the front is ugly, but otherwise yeah, it's lovely, and really uses the location well.

3) Is basically number one but in pretty much the equivalent area up north.

4) Amazing. Actual dream home. Now I'm baffled to discover that my dream home is Robbie Williams' house.

5) Beautiful, but it looks like it'd be hard to live in. I could give it a try, of course...

6) Home or prison? Hard to tell.

7) Actually, this is now my dream home. It even has lifts! The ship design is gorgeous.

8-10) Too many properties even for me, I give up for now.
 
Looking at the layout of Reading Office in Highgate (no7), it tells you an awful lot about the lifestyle it's designed for. Looks like half the bedrooms are in the annexe and are designed for the Help with a couple of kitchens and bathrooms for them. I'd guess nanny, maid, cook, household manager and I'm not sure what else - security person (given there's a 'security room'? personal trainer?

There's no picture of the actual large kitchen that one sees tucked away behind the lounge area on the floorplan, because these householders are not expecting to use the kitchen themselves. I expect there is a 'lounge kitchen' for show where you can at least get some snacks and make a coffee, but the serious one is for the Help only.
 
I'd like to stay in London - so the Knightsbridge apartment would be nice. But it's ludicrously over-priced, at equivalent at around 4 Robbie Williams mansion.

I'd settle for something cheaper in London and buy Robbie's Wiltshire mansion as a weekend retreat.

I'm a bit gobsmacked at just how much money Robbie has - he also famously owns the Michael Winner mansion in Holland Park adjacent to Jimmy Page's Tower House, which is probably another £20m plus of property in his portfolio.
 
1. Souless. That doesn't look like the right spelling? Two ells? Anyway, no. And slightly creeped out by what looks like a leather blanket on the bed. :hmm: Although I do like the gushy tap thing into the swimming pool. Clearly belongs to a footballer.

2. Some nice features, but wouldn't spring £2.5m on it. And would be swarming with tourists in the summer, just when you want to sit out and look across the bay.

3. Beige. But my cats would love the garden. Also a bit footballery.

4. Too big. I do like the golden boar and unbeigeness but not really my style.

5. I have library envy :(.

6. The location is flippin awesome - but it will need a complete refurb and the thought of getting it sorted enough to be a lovely home gives me the shivers. But yeah, location, location, location.

7. Fuck off with your P.O.A. but picture No. 6 is pretty cool. Not enough pics of the interior though. What are they hiding!

8. Wine cellar!!! Quite like some of this. But also think their interior designer ought to be shot.

9. Not bad - if I had to have a pied-à-terre in London I could cope with this. But ffs, £26.5m - that is utterly bonkers.

10. This has two things that make me cringe in any house - red leather sofas and a bar.
 
Idaho said:
It's an easy answer to just say you hate them all and not in the spirit :p
Click to expand...
It’s the truth, though. The architecture of the ones that aren’t old look like the companies are more used to supermarket briefs. The interiors are unhomely and have all the coziness of airport lounges. The interior decor (apart from one green wall covered in pictures) is both bland and offensive (quite a feat!). And in all but the isolated farm, the best views are looking away from the houses.

The best thing about each and every one is the price they will seemingly fetch. Give me the money, I’ll buy something stunning and probably have cash left over.
 
danny la rouge said:
It’s the truth, though. The architecture of the ones that aren’t old look like the companies are more used to supermarket briefs. The interiors are unhomely and have all the coziness of airport lounges. The interior decor (apart from one green wall covered in pictures) is both bland and offensive (quite a feat!). And in all but the isolated farm, the best views are looking away from the houses.

The best thing about each and every one is the price they will seemingly fetch. Give me the money, I’ll buy something stunning and probably have cash left over.
Click to expand...
They are all prestige houses. They are statements of wealth and power. Naturally a humble egalitarian such as yourself would find them charmless. And as you aren't going to get any of them, or their cash equivalent value, the point of the exercise is to role play a retired oligarch and choose.
 
Idaho said:
They are all prestige houses. They are statements of wealth and power. Naturally a humble egalitarian such as yourself would find them charmless. And as you aren't going to get any of them, or their cash equivalent value, the point of the exercise is to role play a retired oligarch and choose.
Click to expand...
The farmhouse, providing I also had the cash to do it up to my taste.
 
Ok, I'll give you the casting notes:

It's 2095 and after long years of dedication to the revolution, only made possible by radical surgical advances by Marxist Leninist doctors and your own revolutionary fervour, you have finally retired. The people's Congress and several popular votes have demanded you be given one of these ancient long forgotten oligarchs houses (now keep as museums to the memory of the vanquished capitalist age). It's the people's will that you spend the remaining 20 years in comfort, watching the final withering away of the state. Which would you choose?
 
Idaho said:
Ok, I'll give you the casting notes:

It's 2095 and after long years of dedication to the revolution, only made possible by radical surgical advances by Marxist Leninist doctors and your own revolutionary fervour, you have finally retired. The people's Congress and several popular votes have demanded you be given one of these ancient long forgotten oligarchs houses (now keep as museums to the memory of the vanquished capitalist age). It's the people's will that you spend the remaining 20 years in comfort, watching the final withering away of the state. Which would you choose?
Click to expand...
The secluded farmhouse.
 
SpookyFrank said:
None of these places look like they've ever been inhabited by happy people. Happy people don't need so much fucking stuff.
Click to expand...
Yeah, I think that's a good way of putting it. Robbie Williams' gaff maybe an exception (and perhaps no2 and the last one which have no taste, but it's the owner's lack of taste not a hired hand's), but a lot of them you can just feel they got interior decorator, said 'Uh, make it look like every other house in this bracket, lots of marble please', there's no personality, the owners haven't invested in stuff that means anything, it's just... stuff.
 
-OK, so we've got a double-figure number of millions of pounds. We can live anywhere we want.
-Chigwell.
-OK, again, anywhere we like.
-I like Chigwell.
-I mean even Loughton has views at least.
-Nope, Chigwell.

I don't understand humans at all.
 
1. Like what a 15 year old would choose. It's all inward focused. Like a hotel. Definitely not.
2. Yep this is all good. Not as showy or low down as 10, but with the sea views and sea access.
3. I'm not an ambassador with a keen interest in golf, so I'll pass
4. Pleasant building. But I hate Wiltshire. You'd be surrounded by horse people.
5. I'd enjoy looking round this, but not living in it.
6. What's not to love about a lake District bunker? Of all the locations, perhaps aside from Cornwall, this is the best in terms of how I'd like to spend my life.
7. Like a shopping centre or something. If I was to have a stupid place in London, I'd rather have one of those permanently empty luxury penthouses things by the river.
8. A modest version of 1. If 1. Is a 15 year old, 8 has a young family and is knuckling down.
9. Complete absence of taste. Not even bad taste, just utter nothingness.
10. I'm sure that was on grand designs. Couple were unpleasant in some way. Lovely location and sea views are great. Not a good spot for sea level rise.
 
The Knightsbridge apartment is the only one I'd touch..


Sniff...




Kidding. ... but it is the only one I actually like and could live in. Not too big. Lovely old features. And a loo for every bedroom. Great kitchen. Cinema room. Little teeny garden which would be ok as I am not up to big gardening projects.
And its in a great location.
If I lived near London and worked in London and had 25 million to throw at it. I would.


🤣
 
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