Coffee making accessories for the coffee wanker in your life
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pogofish
Testicle Hairstyle
What is creamer anyway? I always wonder when Americans mention it but I never cba to google
Basically - Corn or glucose syrup solids, Vegetable fats or oils, Sodium caseinate Dipotassium phosphate, Mono/Diglycerides and Sodium silicoaluminate Lecithin.
Keeps virtually forever, without refrigeration, esp the liquid form - dry powder is prone to caking/going foosty if it gets damp. Some also come flavoured in various ways or with alcohol added.
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pogofish
Testicle Hairstyle
I actually have a proper Turkish coffee pot that was brought back to me as a present. I've never used it though and it sits in my front window as an ornament as it doesn't sit well on my gas hob.
My understanding is that you do need to heat it a bit in order to make Turkish coffee properly and that the beans need to be the given finest grind possible.
maomao
普費斯
It's basically bird poo with the brown bits taken out in a little plastic tub. Why anyone would put it in their drink I have no idea.What is creamer anyway? I always wonder when Americans mention it but I never cba to google
UnderOpenSky
baseline neural therapy
I had a hand powered one and got lazy and started using my spice grinder and couldn't really tell the difference.
chilango
Hypothetical Wanker
In small town Mexico that's exactly what they used to do if you ordered coffee. Jar of Nescafé and a jug of hot water.
chilango
Hypothetical Wanker
I used to have to use evil Nestle baby milk powder to add to tea (never coffee) when in Sudan.
seeformiles
Lost in the wood
Yep - we have the same but neither of us are all that bothered about coffee (Tea being a far superior beverageI find coffee utterly revolting so it's all immaterial to me, but this (plus an Aeropress) is Mr K's set up - he's the sole coffee drinker in the house and it seems to work well for him:
View attachment 444032
The beans are from our friends' business:
Leicester Coffee House Company
Leicester Coffee House Company combines good quality, ethically sourced, locally roasted coffee with supported learning opportunities for young people.www.leicestercoffeehouse.co.uk
Apparently they're top tier. If you like that sort of thing.
). However my BIL is a complete coffee tosspot who will spend 45 mins making a cup so am looking on this thread for some wanky gadget for his Xmas pressie.
danny la rouge
I have a cheese grater in the dishwasher.
Why? What the fuck is he doing? Roasting the beans fresh every time? Tell him to get a life! Don’t fucking enable the prick!
maomao
普費斯
Get him a jar of Nescafé and one of these:Yep - we have the same but neither of us are all that bothered about coffee (Tea being a far superior beverage
Titanic Luxury Coffee Spoon
Titanic Gold Plated Coffee Spoon. All Gold plated Titanic products are made to order. Please allow 4-6 weeks for delivery.
www.arthurprice.com
BigMoaner
What A Load of Old Bollocks
I really enjoyed this post
BigMoaner
What A Load of Old Bollocks
sorry for seeformiles sure your BIL is a great bloke
seeformiles
Lost in the wood
He farts around like it’s something akin to alchemy and it certainly doesn’t justify the end result. This farting about is typical and, by the time he’s done, I’ve had 3 cups of instant and am ready to leave the house. We don’t see each other very often - well not if I can help it - as he’s a pretentious prick.
seeformiles
Lost in the wood
No, he’s not.
Oh. I was aware of that stuff but assumed creamer must be something different given how Americans seem to talk about it like an everyday, widely used thing and not a crime against humanity.
danny la rouge
I have a cheese grater in the dishwasher.
The US has a food industry that calls this cheese:
I don’t blame its citizens. I blame business.
danny la rouge
I have a cheese grater in the dishwasher.
That’s both chips and mash.
locomotive
come on baby, do the locomotion
Chips and rice
Elpenor
a clown’s heart and a mandolin
Do you mean like Hovis best of both?
danny la rouge
I have a cheese grater in the dishwasher.
I discovered that they think it’s chips and rice in Wales. Imagine my shock at being offered chips and mash with a curry!? Or so I thought. Because of course in the real world, it’s chips and mash.
danny la rouge
I have a cheese grater in the dishwasher.
My nephew went to the Côte D’Azure.
Nice?
No, he went to the capital of Alaska in a Honda.
danny la rouge
I have a cheese grater in the dishwasher.
It would be. That’s why I was horrified. But it wasn’t what I was being offered. It was an hilarious West End Farce of a cultural misunderstanding.
Humberto
Margin (martian) margin
Starring Bernard Bresslaw as Miggins? Sorry, I'm a bit tie-ties and I'm just fantasising about curry half rice half chips.
story
Changing the facts
I make Greek coffee (I’m Greek so it’s Greek, not Turkish).
There is definitely a knack to it, it took me a little while to learn how to do it well.
Pour the water into the small cup you’re going to serve the coffee in. Do this x however many people you’re making for. I’d advise against making more than two at once. You can get brikis for one or two cups. I’ve seen larger ones but I’ve never seen it made for more than two at a time. The briki is the long handled pot.
So. Pour water into the cup so you’re only using exactly the right amount of water. I use an espresso cup.
Transfer the water into the briki
Add the coffee. Very fine ground. 1 heaped teaspoon for each person. I’ve used 2 teaspoonfuls and it’s still good. But because the coffee takes up room in the cup, you don’t want to use too much.
If you want it sweetened, add the sugar now.
Mix well. Not in a hectic way, but quite vigorously.
Keep stirring for longer than you think you need to. Then stop stirring and never stir it again!
Put the briki over the flame. In Greece they use camping gas stoves because they don’t have gas in the kitchen (because earthquakes)
Stand over it. Do not stir it. Don’t walk away unless you have a perfect sense of the timings from many years of experience.
This is, for me, part of the whole point. It’s a moment of stillness.
Watch and wait til the coffee starts to rise and move at the edges. Do not stir it. Do not let it boil. If it boils, pour it out and start again. ETA you're bringing it to the very point of boiling, but not letting it boil.
As soon as it starts to rise, remove from the heat. You can serve it right away. However….
Once the surface has settled, replace on the heat and wait til the surface starts to rise. You may get a crema right away or you may only see the crema after allowing it to heat a couple of time. This is the part of the process that takes experience. I didn’t know how to get it right, until one day I did. I can’t tell you what I did or didn’t do, but now I can make Greek coffee properly.
Pour it quickly but gently into the cup and serve immediately. Pouring it too fast will spoil the crema. Too slow will leave some of the grounds in the briki. You want all the grounds in the cup(s).
Let the coffee settle before drinking.
Stop drinking before the grounds are too close to the surface.
I’ve made a mix of Greek coffee grounds, with added spices (cardamom, carob, coriander, bay). I sometimes drink this after a heavy meal, or instead of breakfast.
ETA I grind the spices so they're as fine as the coffee is. And I store it in the freezer.
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abe11825
Like to take a cement fix
Basically what everyone between us has posted. It's chemically modified milk alternate with oils and sugars. Which is different than dairy (milk) alternatives (i.e. almond milk, oat milk, etc). You do need to be careful though, as the dairy alternatives can be just as loaded with chemicals as the creamer is, which doesn't end up justifying the "health conscience minded".What is creamer anyway? I always wonder when Americans mention it but I never cba to google
A lot of health foodies I know don't do carrageenan because of its thickening and emulsifying properties. It's not a great addition to the ingredient list, much like the "natural flavor" listings because you don't know what "natural" means. List of various oils in the creamer / milk alternative. But carrageenan is listed in a lot of food products.
Americans love them some sugar and salt, and that's why creamer goes in coffee. Even though I've recently heard if coffee has a bitter taste to it, add just a tiny bit of salt to your cup and the bitterness goes away (along with some of the acidity). I've not tried that, so I can't confirm it. I think I might have heard it on an episode of Christopher Kimball's Milk Street podcast.
Half and Half mixes milk and creamer equally, so you're not drinking coffee with 100% milk or 100% creamer. It's mixed together in one container and surprisingly has no separation happening. To my knowledge, half and half only comes plain (unflavored). Creamer comes plain or flavored. Dairy alternatives are similar in plain or flavored.
It's an added bite depending on what you're mixing, but then again, some people add more sugar by way of syrups - flavored and otherwise (Starbucks is known to add simple syrup to their coffees as a base product). Simple syrup (or any mixing syrup) is melted sugar and water combined into what looks like water in a bottle. That too, comes plain or flavored... more chemicals.
story
Changing the facts
No.
No no no no!
I’ve posted my own guide up there. I’m sure there’s plenty in YouTube etc.
Cowboy coffee is the most basic.
Coffee, water, boil.
Or boiling water, coffee, brew, pour
There are coffee wanker versions of cowboy coffee but they’re about about water temperature, stirring, sitting time etc.
I’ve never had a cup of cowboy coffee I enjoyed. My dad used to make it when he was working sometimes. He had coffee wanker tendencies, but for some reason the cowboy coffee was what he wanted for certain circumstances.
Chz
Stark Raving Sane
Maybe it's different down South in the US, but in the NE and Canada it's simply half whole milk, half single cream for a ~10% milkfat result. Which tastes very nice in coffee, but revolting in tea.
