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Can squirrels get addicted to crack?

lang rabbie said:
Crime and furry animals - it's bound to make the front page of The SLP. :)

Disturbing premonition from lang rabbie here!!

Has anyone seen the front page of the most recent South London Press? (yesterday, Thursday 6th October)

This morning I saw -- unless I'm dreaming it -- a front page headline about this very subject :eek:

But I can't find it on the SLP website ... :confused:

Maybe they lifted it from HERE!! :(
 
[LR dashes to newsagent - so much for working from home this morning!]

I think I've won a long-standing bet with someone on what the SLP could publish as a front page with the most implausible combination of cute animals and gritty urban crime :oops: :D

South London Press front page said:
Four column splash
SQUIRRELS ON CRACK

[overlaid on photomontage of squirrel with "rock" of crack
Caption: HIGH UP IN THE TREES: how a squirrel might look nibbling on a rock of crack. ]

Exclusive by Greg Truscott

Nature lovers fear that squirrels could become hooked on crack cocaine plundered from addicts hidden stashes. The furry animals are thought to be behind a new drugs turf war in Brixton - stealing rocks of crack hidden in front gardens.
....

Full Squirrels on Crack story now on SLP website

Surely a career on the Currant Bun beckons for our Greg :(
 
passenger said:
this story is being discused on L.B.C 97.3 FM :eek: right now

Someone called Pete is e-mailing them "alarming documentary evidence" of the Brixton squirrel drugs horror as I type.
 
From here

LIFE STYLE EXTRA (UK) - Nature lovers fear squirrels could become hooked on crack cocaine plundered from addicts' hidden stashes.

The creatures are thought to be behind a new drugs turf war in Brixton, south London, stealing crack rocks hidden in suburban front gardens.

Tough police action to rid the town centre of dealers and addicts has seen crackheads abandon their usual drug stash hideouts.

But the blitz has displaced some dealing into nearby residential streets.

Drug addicts are known to be hiding small stashes of crack rocks in people's front lawns late at night.

Squirrels have been spotted in the same front gardens, seemingly hunting out the buried narcotics.

The discovery has led some residents to speculate that the squirrels are already in the grips of addiction.

They fear the drugs problem has created a new zoological phenomenon known as the Brixton Crack Squirrel.

One central Brixton resident, who asked for his name to be withheld, said "I was chatting with my neighbour who told me that crack users and dealers sometimes use my front garden to hide bits of their stash.

"An hour earlier I'd seen a squirrel wandering round the garden, digging in
the flowerbeds.

"It looked like it knew what it was looking for.

"It was ill-looking and its eyes looked bloodshot but it kept on desperately digging. It was almost as if it was trying to find hidden crack rocks."

Crack squirrels are a recognised phenomena in America.

They are known to live in parks frequented by addicts in New York and Washington DC.

The squirrels have been known to attack other park visitors in their frenzied search for their next fix.

A spokeswoman for the RSPCA said she had yet to hear of Brixton Crack Squirrels but it would not be out of character for an animal that is well known for foraging.

"We have not had any dealers reporting the theft of their stash by squirrels but the animal is attracted by smell and if it detects something it likes it will dig it up.

"If a squirrel did open a bag of crack and start consuming it there is no doubt it would die pretty quickly.

"I suspect that nobody has reported it because they are a wild animal and when they are found dead no-one cares."
 
The earliest reference to the infamous Brixton Crack Squirrel that I can trace is here, from a Blog by a sometime Brixtonian then resident in Toronto:

Whatever, I don't think they would be any match for the fearsome Brixton Crack Squirrel, which feeds entirely on discarded rocks of crack cocaine and is generally rather bolshy for such a small creature. They used to hang out in the little park in front of the Ritzy Cinema, twitching spastically, dancing to music only they could hear and generally creating a malevolent ambience. The squirrels here are much friendlier and less intimidating. How archetypically Canadian. But I digress...
;)

I, for one, welcome our tree-dwelling rodent overlords
 
Reports of ground squirrels high on crack believing themselves to be flying squirrels and leaping to their deaths are unconfirmed, and probably just media exaggeration.

What I want to know is why the squirrels might be turning to crack. Is it only occurring in the communities of socially deprived squirrels? Is it perhaps an innercity malaise for young squirrels trying to find meaning in their lives?

I say root out the source of the problem rather than just blame the dealers and the addicts.
 
We have a term here: to 'go squirrelly'.

If you're flipping out, and not just from drugs, but in any way, someone might say you're going squirrelly.

I think it's safe to say that crack-eating squirrels would be pretty squirrelly. Squirrels were like the crack addicts of the animal kingdom to begin with. When do you ever see a squirrel that isn't moving or jumping around, seemingly always looking for something? And those are just the normal squirrels, to the extent that any squirrel can be described as normal.
 
Crack Squirrel
Sonny Charles & The Checkmates, Ltd.


Crack squirrel, precious little fur
Let me put you up where you belong
Crack squirrel little fur
You been in the background much too long
You been working so hard your whole life through
Tendin' other people's houses
Raisin' up their children too
Hey how about something for me and you
Here in my arms you're gonna reign supreme
No more servin' baby
They're gonna serve my queen
It's our turn for happiness and our day has come
Living for each other answering to no one

Crack squirrel precious little fur
Let me put you up where you belong
Because I love you
Crack squirrel pretty little fur
You been in the background much too long
Together we'll stand so straight and so tall
Created by love to love one and all
Hey heart to heart soul to soul
No other one could ever take your place
My world is built around
The very smile that's on your face
You'll never win a beauty show
No they won't pick you
But you're my miss America
I love you
 
The crackhead squirrel story has just been on BBC Breakfast, they said a Scotland Yard spokesman said "we are not aware of any problem", they would say that wouldn't they?
I have seen dodgy looking squirrels in Hackney as well, they sit on the wall of the police station yard. This is no joke. My husband has seen them digging in gardens around there as well. Take the other day...........
He said the squirrel dug up the crack then along came his squirrel mate who was obviously a dealer. So they both got nicked and taken back but it was a "no comment" interview apparently, lots of tail-flicking went on though.
Bloody disgusting state of affairs IMO>
 
Urban Message Board blows long term police operation code named- OPERATION NUTJOB.
Sources close to Scotland Yard have revealed that senior officers are upset at the prospect of this expensive operation being ' blown' after reports of the crack addicted squirrells appeared in the local and national press. They have been reported as having launched an enquiry to find how the leak occured .
Sources are saying that the squirrells are part of a specially trained elite drugs unit attached to the National Crime Squad. Apparently they have been trained to sniff out and uncover crack deals left burried by pushers in surburban Brixton gardens and parks and to recover them to safe locations. Animal experts have long reported that grey squirrells have the fine sense of smell and intelligence to be trained to do the job.
A quoted senior officer has said that in some cases the squirrells over stepped the operational brief and ingested the crack rocks giving them the appearance of being ' totally out of their furry minds '. Detectives were forced to track them and rescue them from difficult situations involving the public.
One reported incident involved a pair of rampaging greys who were spotted along Electric Avenue, their food pouches stuffed full of crack. After CS Spray had no positive effect the police were forced to use Taser Guns to bring the crazed animals into custody.
 
First hitting the pipe, now this... sometimes I worry about those guys...

beers.jpg
 
It was on the BBC radio news too!

Come to think of it, there's loads of junkie activity outside my flat and I've seen more and more lively foxes around too. Could there be crack-addicted foxes out there too?
 
one fox was rummaging thru my bin bag a few weeks ago! on our doorstep!(we're on the 2nd floor) i opened the back door n was pleasently surprised. My screams in Arabic didn't seem to scare him.
:rolleyes:
my mate says i shoudl go Tally ho or summthin.
 
It's in the frigging Sun, too! :D :D :D

This is really great. I want you to go back and read Leon's posts. I was standing next to two guys in the bus today that were reading the article and they were pissing themselves with laughter. I am sure there are lots of people around the UK doing the same thing, so there's a lot of fun being had today. I guess some people might not see through the fact it's got to be an invention and would be a bit depressed by it, but I can't imagine there are many.

"Squirrels go nuts on crack"
http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,2-2005460823,,00.html
 
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