Buying a house - bidding against friends

[ziggystarman]

Here's the situation: Two couples, good friends, both looking to buy a house in the same general area.

Couple A, lets call them, see a house that they like and are in a bidding war with some other interested parties.

Couple B, lets call them, come across a house just new to the market, casually see it, then make an appointment with the estate agent for a viewing appointment and proceed to view the house. They love the house and decide to put in a bid the next morning.

The next day, couple B hear that couple A have pulled out of the house they were in the bidding war on and are now interested in three other houses - one of which happens to be the house couple B are about to bid on.

Couple B decide to let couple A know that they have had an official viewing and are just about to put in a bid. Couple A respond, saying that they have casually viewed the house, have an official viewing appointment later that day and plan to put in a bid also.

Couple B proceed to officially view the house and also put in a bid.

Your take on this please - as it doesn't make sense to have friends bidding against each other, who should back off giving how things played out?

 

[Pickman's model]

neither but the winning couple should kneecap the losing couple because otherwise they'd undoubtedly seek revenge.

 

[peterkro]

Simples,come to an agreement before hand the winners feed back some money to the losers to compensate them,both buyers short change the vendor,this scam is as old as time.

 

[FridgeMagnet]

The property should be appropriated by the workers and allocated according to the greatest need.

 

[ziggystarman]

Should couple B not have dibs on the property though from an ethics point of view as both couples are friends? They had an official viewing and had decided to place a bid. They then relayed this information to couple A when they found out that they were also interested, as a simple heads up. Couple A hadn't even had their official viewing yet, although they were very interested and had spoken about putting in a bid.

Since bidding against each other would undesireable, would couple A not be the ones who should stand down, all things being equal??

 

[quimcunx]

Why does it make less sense for friends to bid on the same house as strangers to bid on it?

 

[fractionMan]

The GTO solution is for Couple A & Couple B to swap partners imo.

 

[fractionMan]

Game theory wise the route to 'winning' the most is for the couples to agree that neither shall bid because everyone loses in a bidding war then one of them fuck them over by bidding anyway. Either that or one of them duck out and take all the negative consequences. It's very similar to the prisoners dilemma.

If both bid they pay more, if neither bid they're homeless. Both negative outcomes. The above is the most positive outcome according to game theory.

 

[Belushi]

You just want us to say 'Yes, you saw it first and the other couple are rotters' dont you?

 

[mrs quoad]

Wisdom of Solomon.

Find another place you both like nearby, each bid on one of them, then once you've won them divide them in half, and each of you couples can live in half each of each of the houses.

Or swap partners, obv.

 

[quimcunx]

Wisdom of Solomon.

Find another place you both like nearby, each bid on one of them, then once you've won them divide them in half, and each of you couples can live in half each of each of the houses.

Or swap partners, obv.

Or Both bid on house. Whoever wins both couples put in half the money and get a half share in the house at the bidding-inflated price and sell it again at a loss which they also split between them.

Everyone's happy.

 

[marty21]

Here's the situation: Two couples, good friends, both looking to buy a house in the same general area.

Couple A, lets call them, see a house that they like and are in a bidding war with some other interested parties.

Couple B, lets call them, come across a house just new to the market, casually see it, then make an appointment with the estate agent for a viewing appointment and proceed to view the house. They love the house and decide to put in a bid the next morning.

The next day, couple B hear that couple A have pulled out of the house they were in the bidding war on and are now interested in three other houses - one of which happens to be the house couple B are about to bid on.

Couple B decide to let couple A know that they have had an official viewing and are just about to put in a bid. Couple A respond, saying that they have casually viewed the house, have an official viewing appointment later that day and plan to put in a bid also.

Couple B proceed to officially view the house and also put in a bid.

Your take on this please - as it doesn't make sense to have friends bidding against each other, who should back off giving how things played out?

 

[ziggystarman]

Thank you Belushi, finally!!

Do I not have a point here though? - we are friends after all and don't want to bid against each other. We bother have similar buying power and both love this house for the same reasons.

Lots of mentions here about partner swaps - now that could start another bidding war!

 

[mrs quoad]

tbf, you don't really need to do that.

Unless the partners are unequally hetero / poly / othersexual.

In which case there may be some who are varyingly happy with the outcome.

 

[quimcunx]

Orrrr

Both couples bid on house and push price up for eventual winner, who is neither couple. Then bond over lols at making someone else pay more than necessary.

 

[fractionMan]

erm. I think I've mixed that up a bit

 

[mrs quoad]

Do I not have a point here though? - we are friends after all and don't want to bid against each other. We bother have similar buying power and both love this house for the same reasons.

One of you has more money, though.

Or perhaps a fitter partner.

Lots of mentions here about partner swaps - now that could start another bidding war!

Artichoke has a jar of fish.

?

 

[invisibleplanet]

"you saw it first and the other couple are rotters"

(Srsly, talk to the couple and come to an arrangement as suggested by mrs quoad = win-win)

 

[quimcunx]

Thank you Belushi, finally!!

Do I not have a point here though? - we are friends after all and don't want to bid against each other. We bother have similar buying power and both love this house for the same reasons.

Lots of mentions here about partner swaps - now that could start another bidding war!

Belushi wasn't offering to say that.

It's not like one couple saw it, loved it, put a bid in then told the other couple who then decided to sneak in for a look and put a bid in. Then you might have a reason to feel aggrieved.

Flip a coin as said above.

e2a: for the house not which partner to swap with.

 

[mrs quoad]

btw, your username's an anagram of 'stargazy ming.'

Which seems kinda appropriate, in the context of jarred fish, Artichoke's secreted jarred fish, and my dislike of jarred fish.

e2a: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stargazy_pie

 

[Ted Striker]

Take a shit in the bath on your viewing and smear it all over the walls

 

[mrs quoad]

Take a shit in the bath on your viewing and smear it all over the walls

Someone shat in my bath whilst I was living in Yorkshire.

After 4 or 5 months, it turned out to've been me.

 

[free spirit]

tbf, if any of my mates were to bid against me in these circumstances I'd be fucking livid.

eta - though it would at least mean I was in a position to buy a house, which would be an improvement.

 

[ziggystarman]

You see where I'm coming from Free Spirit.

 

[free spirit]

thinking about it though, it depends on the bidding process.

if it's just sealed bids, then they're not really pushing the price up, so not so much of a problem.

If it's a bidding process where they get told what bids have already been made, and then get to bid higher and push the price up, then that'd be a pretty shit thing for a mate to be part of.

 

[ziggystarman]

I see your point too quimcunx, nothing sneaky was done here. We're not that pissed off, just disappointed at the way things unfolded. There was a similar situation a few months back where we were both interested in another house - the other couple made rumblings of being maybe making a move for it and we ourselves decided that as we were friends, since they decided to get the finger out first and started thinking about possibly bidding we decided to back away - it was theirs, they were the first to signal their intent - even though we, unknown to them were also interested. We just thought it was the right thing to do.

 

[quimcunx]

Did you tell them that at the time? Did they say, ''yes, that is the right thing to do, thank you for doing the decent thing''? Or did they say ''oh, that's handy, but you didn't have to do that just because we're friends''?


I'd be pissed off too. But that's not the same as thinking one couple pulling out is the correct thing to do.

As you're both looking at the same market maybe you should set some rules for future.

 

[StoneRoad]

buy a bigger house for both couples to share!

(a bit like "Tyneside Flats" http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cottage_flat)

 

[ziggystarman]

We didn't tell the couple that we were backing away from the last house - they didn't know we were that interested even though we had both view and discussed the house. They were the first to signal 'making a move' intent though so we privately decided that it would be wrong for us to continue interest in this house as they were our friends - they had made the first call.

 

[ziggystarman]

We don't think one couple pulling out is the 'correct thing to do' but do thing it's the 'right thing' to do. If the situation was revered that's what we would do.