Best Red Dwarf Quotes

[dshl]

Sorry, this is for the middle-aged:



RImmer: Is something amiss?

Lister: Amiss? God no, what could possibly be amiss?

RImmer: You don't think there's anything amiss? I'm sitting here wearing a red and white checked gingham dress and army boots and you think that's un-amiss?

Cat: No, of course not. It's just that we thought you'd gone nuts!

 

[SpookyFrank]

'Today's fish is trout a la creme, enjoy your meal.'

 

[maomao]

Whatever the BBC comedy controller said when they rejected plans for a ninth series.

 

[mrs quoad]

Whatever the BBC comedy controller said when they rejected plans for a ninth series.

Was it only nine?

Somehow felt like it dragged on much longer.

Slowly, slowly refusing to die.

 

[maomao]

Was it only nine?

Somehow felt like it dragged on much longer.

Slowly, slowly refusing to die.

It's still going on "Dave" whatever that is.

 

[BoxRoom]

They're all dead, Dave.

 

[Santino]

It's still going on "Dave" whatever that is.

It's a free-to-view television channel available via sigital or satellite services, m'lud.

 

[magneze]

D d d d d d d d d good head

Works better in video.

 

[dessiato]

Smoke me a kipper, I'll be back for breakfast.

 

[D'wards]

 

[blairsh]

'Today's fish is trout a la creme, enjoy your meal.'

"Fish!"

 

[cybershot]

Does anyone want any toast?

 

[DexterTCN]

Ok...and I'm not going to deny google may have helped...

Cat: “What was it like being a hamster?” Lister: “It was better than being a chicken. Have you seen the size of an egg? Seen the size of a chicken’s bum? That’s what all the clucking was about.

Lister: “Listen, Kryten, I’ve been thinking about this. I’ve come up with something.” Kryten: “Yes, sir?” Lister: “I’m going to use my brains for the first time in my life.” Kryten: “Considering the circumstances, sir, do you really believe that’s wise?

Cat: “All in all, a 100 per cent successful trip.” Kryten: “But, sir, we lost Mr Rimmer!” Cat: “All in all, a 100 per cent successful trip…l

And also something about the potato king, something about the justice planet and getting fucked over the head with a shovel and generally for its time* being absolutely awesome.

*now gone

 

[The Octagon]

"We are talking jape of the decade. We are talking April, May, June, July and August fool.

That's right. I am Queeg"

 

[AmeliaE]

This is mine. That is mine. All this is mine. Except that. I don't want that bit.

 

[Mrs Miggins]

I loved Red Dwarf at the time but if these are the best quotes that people can come up with, man it must have actually been shit.

 

[cybershot]

RIMMER: The distress call. Why d'you say "Mayday?" It's only a Bank Holiday. Why not "Shrove Tuesday" or "Ascension Sunday?" (Mimics)
Ascension Sunday! Ascension Sunday! The fifteenth Wednesday after Pentecost! The fifteenth Wednesday after Pentecost!

 

[AmeliaE]

 

[krtek a houby]

Red Dwarf - one of those shows that works better on screen than on paper.

 

[AmeliaE]

LISTER: Cat?
CAT: Mmm?
LISTER: Ya ever see the Flintstones?
CAT: Sure!
LISTER: D'ya think Wilma's sexy?
CAT: Wilma Flintstone?
LISTER: Maybe we've been alone in deep space too long, but every time I
see that sharmi body, it drives me crazy. Is it me?
CAT: Well, I think in all probability, Wilma Flintstone is the most
desirable woman that ever lived.
LISTER: That's good. I thought I was goin' strange.
CAT: She's incredible!
LISTER: What d'ya think of Betty?
CAT: Betty Rubble? (Pause) Well, I would go with Betty... but I'd be
thinking of Wilma.
LISTER: This is crazy. Why are we talking about going to bed with Wilma
Flintstone?
CAT: You're right. We're nuts. This is an insane conversation.
LISTER: She'll never leave Fred, and we know it.

 

[AmeliaE]

Gazpacho ....

 

[Cloo]

What Mr Flibble? We couldn't possibly do that... Who'd clean up the mess?

 

[Crispy]

With a different cast, Red Dwarf could have been a lot worse. I like it, despite and because if its teenage humour, cos it took (some of) it's sci-fi ideas seriously and mined those for comedy, rather than them just being window dressing on a bog standard sitcom. No other show could have done Backwards, for example.

Oh hang on, a quote then.

"When in Rome, do as the Snamor do."

 

[magneze]

So, what is it?

 

[Dandred]

Smeg off

 

[AmeliaE]

Call it extreme if you like, but I propose we hit it hard and we hit it fast with a major - and I mean major - leaflet campaign.

 

[Zapp Brannigan]

Committee for the Liberation and Integration of Terrifying Organisms and their Rehabilitation Into Society.

 

[dessiato]

Danny Jon-Jules plays officer Dwayne Myers in Death in Paradise. I can't help but think of Duane Dibbley.

 

[Mungy]

I had a short audio clip on my Amiga (yes, it was many moons ago) that I played on a loop for an hour or more because I was very stoned. It went like this:

Kryten: Sir, they've taken Mr Rimmer.
Cat: Quick, let's get out of here, before they bring him back.

Though it was about 25 years ago, it never really went away

 

[AmeliaE]

If there is no Silicon Heaven, then where do all the calculators go?