Awful Rap by Non-Rappers

[Orang Utan]

Inspired by Chevy Chase’s Rapper’s Plight:


I guess Debbie Harry in Rapture is the most famous example.
Anyone else? a lot of celebs and footballers have had a go!

 

[Puddy_Tat]

some italo rap 4 and a bit minutes in to the 12 inch version of Self Control, Raf (later recorded - and as far as I can recall without a rap bit - by Laura Branigan)

 

[klang]

cod rap / crap

 

[rubbershoes]

I was about to mention Sid Owen but then remembered he was reggae not rap

 

[Pickman's model]

Inspired by Chevy Chase’s Rapper’s Plight:


I guess Debbie Harry in Rapture is the most famous example.
Anyone else? a lot of celebs and footballers have had a go!

John Barnes on world in motion. His Barnes rap should have been stand about on the wing and don't do a fucking thing, it'd at least have had honesty on its side

 

[Spandex]

Dee Dee Ramone - Funky Man

 

[Spandex]

Lou Reed - The Original Wrapper

 

[killer b]

Lou Reed - The Original Wrapper

this video is fabulous. the song is a turd though huh. bless lou.

 

[Steel Icarus]

 

[Spandex]

this video is fabulous

Directed by Zbigniew Rybczyński. Almost makes you overlook the music.

 

[Steel Icarus]

 

[mojo pixy]

Ed fuckin Sheeran.

 

[killer b]

I was going to contribute Mel Brooks' contribution to the genre It's Good To Be The King, but listening back to it it's actually pretty good...

 

[ruffneck23]

 

[killer b]

this has no place on this thread.

 

[ruffneck23]

this has no place on this thread.

It does everything stated in the title.

But it really is fucking dire.

 

[killer b]

Wham Rap is a minor work of genius wtf

 

[killer b]

(note the Crass logo on the wall behind george on the video preview btw)

 

[RhymnRzn]

 

[stavros]

 

[skyscraper101]

That bit in the middle of Hit by the Sugercubes is always grating because its a great song sullied by the rubbish rapping bit

 

[WouldBe]

Why by non rappers? All rap is awful.

 

[scifisam]

What's wrong with Rapture? It's a great song, and it's not like it was recorded when rap was already big and she was jumping on a bandwagon, it was 1981!

 

[Yossarian]

What's wrong with Rapture? It's a great song, and it's not like it was recorded when rap was already big and she was jumping on a bandwagon, it was 1981!

It was the first-ever rap - or song with rapping in it, anyway - to top the Billboard Hot 100 chart in the US, a feat not equalled until 1990 by Robert Van Winkle aka Vanilla Ice. So if you were measuring by mainstream chart success, there was a weird 9-year period when Blondie was America's most succesful rapper.

The version of it on "The Boys" made me laugh, first time I really noticed how weird the lyrics are.

 

[Orang Utan]

What's wrong with Rapture? It's a great song, and it's not like it was recorded when rap was already big and she was jumping on a bandwagon, it was 1981!

Nothing wrong with it, but it is a bad rap by a non-rapper. 1981 was the year when mainstream culture became aware of rap - Blondie/Harry probably helped promote it to white audiences worldwide by mentioning Fab Five Freddy

 

[Orang Utan]

Why by non rappers? All rap is awful.

fuck right off

 

[scifisam]

Nothing wrong with it, but it is a bad rap by a non-rapper. 1981 was the year when mainstream culture became aware of rap - Blondie/Harry probably helped promote it to white audiences worldwide by mentioning Fab Five Freddy

Actually I've decided that, even though I think any rap in 1981 can't really be judged against what came after it when it got much better because early experiments just usually aren't as good, I just don't know enough about it and feel like a total pretender. I mean, I've never intentionally bought or listened to anything because it was rap, I just like some songs that are rap, and they're mostly mainstream.

 

[seeformiles]

This made me cringe when it came out:

 

[nogojones]

(note the Crass logo on the wall behind george on the video preview btw)

View attachment 347454

I think that's just a way of visually representing that Wham! were musically way in front of Crass

 

[killer b]

I see them as musical and political peers