Portishead-Dummy
Every so often you hear a song, an album, a chorus that changes your musical direction and even the way you look at the world. My musical epiphany occurred ten years ago, when I first heard the magnificent "Glory Box" on Now Something or Other in 1994. In 1994 I was 11 and going through could be classed as a difficult period. I'd recently testified in court, my friends had alienated me for being too wrapped up in the above and I genuinely felt that nobody in the world felt like I did. I was in my room, listening to this crappy compilation tape when, as if from nowhere, a load of weird samples and that voice came out the speakers. The lyrics, the sadness, it all fit perfectly. I listened to it again and again and again, wallowing in it, feeling for the first time that there were others who felt as sad as me. The next day I found the album in my local library and listened to it constantly, usually using it as a soundtrack to writing in my journal, crying or simply staring at the ceiling trying to make sense of my life. My mother described it as "music to slit your wrists to", but I loved it for precisely that reason. Beth Gibbons voice spoke of pain, isolation and loneliness, something I needed to hear to know that I was not alone, that others out there were hurt, melancholic and confused. I needed that wake-up call, and have used the album ever since to remind myself that things aren't so bad and even if they are, they can produce real beauty.
