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Worst film you've ever seen?

Dr Nookie

Dr Nookie

Well-Known Member
I made the mistake of watching 'Dobermann' last night as part of my ongoing Vincent Cassel obsession, and have to say this is one of the most atrocious films I've ever seen. There is no plot, no dialogue, nothing that even comes close to character depth. There's not even lots of gratuitous Cassel or Bellucci action to redeem it. Nothing.

The most damning indictment I can give it, is to say it's like a bad Guy Ritchie film.

Possibly the only film I've seen worse than this (only film I ever walked out of a cinema from because it was so arse-quakingly dull) was 'To Wong Foo - Thanks For Everything Julie Newmar'.

Velvet Goldmine is up there too.

Your suggestions please?
 
Dances with Wolves - I thought it was never going to end.

Lord of the Rings - I was losing the will to live - Frodo is such a shit character I found myself cheering on Gollum and wishing a violent death on Sam "Oh Mister Frodo" Gamgee. Gandalf could have sorted all that crap out at the beginning if he was that good a wizard anyway.

Sex and the City 2 - Forced to watch this on Mrs SFM's birthday...
 
seeformiles said:
Lord of the Rings - I was losing the will to live - Frodo is such a shit character I found myself cheering on Gollum and wishing a violent death on Sam "Oh Mister Frodo" Gamgee. Gandalf could have sorted all that crap out at the beginning if he was that good a wizard anyway.
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I am completely baffled as to why anybody likes those movies. I saw the first one and thought it was the dullest three hours of my life. I think it shows a real lack of imagination to regard this sort of stuff as cutting edge fantasy.
 
Jeff Robinson said:
I am completely baffled as to why anybody likes those movies. I saw the first one and thought it was the dullest three hours of my life. I think it shows a real lack of imagination to regard this sort of stuff as cutting edge fantasy.
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In terms of story I doubt anybody would claim it's cutting edge as it is an adaptation of a literary classic.

I suppose it was considered "cutting edge" in terms of technology, which it was. Why does that in itself show a lack of imagination ?
 
After being constantly told that Monty Python and the Holy Grail was "the greatest comedy evah" i decided to give in and watch it...maybe I built my expectations too high, maybe the film just hasnt stood the test of time...I think I laughed maybe once.

It was clever but hardly funny
 
Dr Nookie said:
Possibly the only film I've seen worse than this (only film I ever walked out of a cinema from because it was so arse-quakingly dull) was 'To Wong Foo - Thanks For Everything Julie Newmar'.
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That one would be on my list too. Not just because it was dull, but because its attempts to be "feel good" and "heart warming" don't strike a single note that feels truthful or unforced. It also doesn't get a single thing right about drag queens and seems to think the stunt casting of putting macho guys in frocks is in itself hilarious enough to sustain the comedy.

In the last decade I walked out of a few films. The Japanese Manga style live action films Avalon and Casshern I found unendurable. The horror film The Butterfly Effect had maybe one of the most clunky scripts ever and I hated the way it exploited child abuse for its silly plot. The recent Brit sci-fi flick Franklyn was one where I lost the will to live, it was so poorly paced and so predictable.
 
Reno said:
I suppose it was considered "cutting edge" in terms of technology, which it was. Why does that show a lack of imagination ?
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There's the rub - everyone was going on about the special effects when it came out (but were rather quieter when it came to discussing the lack of plot) - saying that, I was in Germany for a funeral that summer and nearly bought a Der Herr der Ringe sword with sound effects in Kaufhof......
 
Jeff Robinson said:
I am completely baffled as to why anybody likes those movies. I saw the first one and thought it was the dullest three hours of my life. I think it shows a real lack of imagination to regard this sort of stuff as cutting edge fantasy.
Click to expand...

this
 
I guess with LOTR if you're not into fantasy it's a real slog-fest, especially the first and last. The middle one is probably the best, too many endings in the thord.
 
Reno said:
Abel Ferrara is a director I don't get on with at all. I don't understand the appeal of his films and think that are all terribly paced. Every single one of his I've seen has bored me to tears.
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I loved King of New York and Bad Lieutenant. The Addiction was interesting, but flawed.
 
Reno said:
Abel Ferrara is a director I don't get on with at all. I don't understand the appeal of his films and think that are all terribly paced. Every single one of his I've seen has bored me to tears.
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The only one I remotely like is Bad Lieutenant.
 
For me it is Unarmed But Dangerous AKA Kung Fu Flid. I thought it would be an enjoyable exploitation film, but it's just bad in all respects.

I can excuse hackneyed plots and cliched dialogue, staid staging, shoddy photography, inconsistent (or non-existent) characterisation, massive plot holes, slapdash editing, amateurish sound, unchallenged offensiveness, wooden acting, poorly-conceived and executed action sequences and a thousand more things - but please let there be a beating heart.

Here there's nothing. No rhythm, no pace, everything is just bad. Bad and unenjoyable (well, apart from a valiant attempt at SFXing a former member of Steps' exploding head). And a waste of Frank Harper.

I don't watch films expecting to be blown away every time. I don't go in for the 'so bad it's good' thing. I have modest hopes, and sometimes my expectations are exceeded (Street Trash, Scarecrows, The Ecstasy Of Robert Carmichael, Tony, Kill List, City Of Life And Death, The Escapist, A Sense Of Freedom amongst others).

On occasion, though, those expectations are themselves far in excess of what the filmmakers give me. Avoid Unarmed But Dangerous.
 
TruXta said:
I guess with LOTR if you're not into fantasy it's a real slog-fest, especially the first and last. The middle one is probably the best, too many endings in the thord.
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So if I liked fantasy then I would like watching a fantasy film?
 
*obligatory Battlefield Earth mention*

Otherwise, The Notebook. Mawkish, hyper-sentimentalised crap with a rather creepy message. I think I harboured resentful feelings towards my then girlfriend for suggesting it. Even looking at Rachel McAdams for 2 hours didn't save matters.
 
Reno said:
In terms of story I doubt anybody would claim it's cutting edge as it is an adaptation of a literary classic.

I suppose it was considered "cutting edge" in terms of technology, which it was. Why does that in itself show a lack of imagination ?
Click to expand...

I can see why some people would be impressed with the technological aspects of it but I can't see how that carried 9 odd hours of extremely tedious characters, dialogue and music. tbf I don't think the best film director in the world could have breathed life into tolkien's cliched tropes and imagery for me. My problem with the film is the source material as much as anything else.
 
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