Worst film ever? Nominations?

[grimble]

A.I.

Every time I thought it was about to end it carried on with a new sub-story for 30 minutes.

 

[marty21]

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0102618/

The Owl

Watched this years ago, and watched all of it, as it started badly and I wanted to see how awful it was going to be, it didn't disappoint me

this film was truly awful, it was a mess, I can see why it was credited to Alan Smithee, the fictional name of a director of a film when no one wants to take responsibility for a film.

main character, the Owl, you are subjected th flashbacks which went on for up to 10 minutes, replaying the car explosion that killed his wife and daughter....we got it the first time, yes we know why you're tortured and out for vengeance.

these flashbacks also include scenes of him doing his martial arts training....again they laboured the point.

One of the baddies is a rapping gangster who gets one of his henchmen to play his ghetto blaster so that he can rap his dialogue...and truly awful rapping it was.

And you hardly see the real baddie, except in this repeated flashback scene when he is driving away from the explosion

the little girl...typical american girl....you want her to die...

it went on for way too long...

my thoughts just after seeing the film ^^^^
and you find yourself watching it to see how bad it can get, and it never disappoints you

 

[Badgers]

There are plenty of bad films. When I think of 'bad film' Independence Day springs straight to mind. There must be films that are more boring or pointless though?

Should a low budget film be cut more slack than a blockbuster? Does a films hype lead to a bigger disappointment?

 

[killer b]

sw9

 

[Badgers]

This thread does also assume that people have seen every film made in the world ever. Include those filmed in foreign languages with no subtitles and those that never even got released.

 

[kained&able]

The tuxedo.
The premis is something like. jackie chan is a taxi driver and shit at everything(other then driving) puts on this magic type suit and becomes this ultra bling secret agent(after the one he was driving for dies).

It should have been class!, piss take james bond/inspector gadget with jackie chan and jennifer love hewitt(who wasn't entirely useless in it) but oh my god, shit upon shit upon shit.

And i really love bullshit action films.


dave

 

[Nanker Phelge]

Alex Reid's new film Killer Bitch is the worst film ever made.

It's what happens when a bunch of crims, cage fighters and porn producers decide to do a Soprano's and make a film about 'A woman is forced into a deadly game in which she has to kill five people or all her friends and family will be butchered'

It is shit.......

...and shockingly features songs by Pussycat and the Dirty Jonhsons!

 

[Sunray]

Lake Placid

Has a scene where they dangle a cow from a helicopter and its not even that funny.

 

[Captain Hurrah]

Birdemic.

 

[ATOMIC SUPLEX]

For me

What a girl wants
Mimic
Bridget Jones

There are terrible films like Battlefield Baseball (which has actors change midway through), sore losers (with unfinished green screen, and sound that changes wildly on cuts) and Rat Pfink a boo boo, that should perhaps win but are somehow entertaining.



I'm sure there are worse but I have had to sit thought these.

 

[kabbes]

The Day After Tomorrow. You wouldn't have thought that a film about the end of the world could be so desperately dull. I ended up fast-forwarding through most of it.

There are also loads of films that are so generic, wooden and uninspired that I have forgotten that I even watched them a week later. I can't identify them because, y'know, I forgot them. But you know what I mean.

 

[cypher79]

Unarmed But Dangerous

Horrifically bad.

 

[kabbes]

^^^And yes, both Bridget Jones were fucking awful.

Oh! I know! Love, Actually. DEFINITELY the very worst of the lot.

 

[ATOMIC SUPLEX]

Alex Reid's new film Killer Bitch is the worst film ever made.!

Just watched a clip. Oh my lord. They didn't even bother grading or processing the video. The sound is equally appalling. You can see that these two elements could have been fixed but these idiots are obviously so unprofessional they can't even see why it looks shit (and that's before acting and script comes into play). Making porn isn't the same as making 'not-porn'.

 

[ATOMIC SUPLEX]

Oh! I know! Love, Actually. DEFINITELY the very worst of the lot.

I quite like that though.

 

[Captain Hurrah]

Waterworld is the only film I have fallen asleep in the cinema during. Awfull.

I liked it when that old white-haired bloke, permanently kept down inside the hull of the baddie's oil tanker to measure how much fuel there is left for Dennis Hopper, is relieved when it all ignites and he sees that wall of fire heading towards him, reflected in his spectacles.

 

[kabbes]

I quite like that though.

Which bit do you like? The vapid mini-plots, none of which could make for a full movie so they decided to bung them all into one carcrash of a film instead? The terrible script that makes George Lucas look like he is a master of realistic dialogue? The awful acting, that hams and woodens its way around this terrible script? The cringy ending, which comes straight out of a five year-old's fairy story?

I'm genuinely at a loss what anybody could like about it.

 

[ExtraRefined]

Battlefield Earth

If you think Battlefield Earth is the worst movie ever, you really haven't watched a lot of bad movies. Yes, there are factual errors and plot holes wide enough to pilot a supertanker through, yes half the shots are at jaunty angles for no reason, yes the dialogue is clichéd and the characters are one dimensional. However, the production values and effects aren't all that bad, and if you watch it with the plot holes in mind it is quite funny

Restricting ourselves to recent mainstream movies, surely Disaster Movie / Epic Movie / Scary Movie 4 etc have to win. Utterly unfunny low budget parodies with no redeeming features whatsoever.

If we're prepared to look at old b-moives, there's plenty that are essentially unwatchable without the MST3K treatment; Manos: The Hands of Fate and Merlin's Shop of Mystical Wonders spring to mind as particularly horrible examples.

 

[Biddlybee]

Boxing Helena

 

[kabbes]

If we're prepared to look at old b-moives, there's plenty that are essentially unwatchable without the MST3K treatment; Manos: The Hands of Fate and Merlin's Shop of Mystical Wonders spring to mind as particularly horrible examples.

I think that it's hard to extend the search to low budget films, because the vast majority of them are a total mess and we'll be here all day, quoting films at each other that none of the rest of us have ever heard of.

For a film to really be in that "worst film" category, for me, there has to be an element of them really throwing everything at it budget-wise and yet it ending up a monstrous failure anyway.

 

[ATOMIC SUPLEX]

Which bit do you like? The vapid mini-plots, none of which could make for a full movie so they decided to bung them all into one carcrash of a film instead? The terrible script that makes George Lucas look like he is a master of realistic dialogue? The awful acting, that hams and woodens its way around this terrible script? The cringy ending, which comes straight out of a five year-old's fairy story?

I'm genuinely at a loss what anybody could like about it.

I agree with all of what you say but I would be lying if I said I had not enjoyed it at some point or other.

 

[kabbes]

I know -- you're a big fan of the manchild from the BT adverts, right?

 

[Santino]

American Beauty and Magnolia made me feel quite bad about humanity for a while too.

 

[The Octagon]

The second film I was sent to review was Porky's. I got the message and eventually became news editor.

Fuck off, Porky's is a great film (for what it was).

If you think Battlefield Earth is the worst movie ever, you really haven't watched a lot of bad movies. Yes, there are factual errors and plot holes wide enough to pilot a supertanker through, yes half the shots are at jaunty angles for no reason, yes the dialogue is clichéd and the characters are one dimensional. However, the production values and effects aren't all that bad, and if you watch it with the plot holes in mind it is quite funny

I'm not letting that pass, it's a great film to laugh about and rip into, but the actually process of watching it is excruciatingly dull and rage-inducing. That's why it usually wins this sort of poll, because people expect it to be 'so bad it's good', and then find out no, it's just bad - being fisted-by-Freddy Krueger-bad at that.

The effects are shocking for the amount of money spent IMO too.

 

[The Octagon]

I know -- you're a big fan of the manchild from the BT asverts, right?

The bit with him in the US is jaw-droppingly stupid, I felt embarassed for the actresses ("January Jones, why are you doing this?", etc)

 

[ATOMIC SUPLEX]

I know -- you're a big fan of the manchild from the BT adverts, right?

Not particularly. I'm not a fan of anyone in the film. Maybe it's just that it moves so quickly from one skit to the next that I don't mind it so much as a whole. I think I just like all the daft sentimental little bits. I can't explain it actually.
Here is a little clip of me acting a bit out of Love actually for a TV show.

It's the first clip.

Enjoy.

 

[kabbes]

Oooh, I can't view videos at work but now I am desperately keen to be able to watch that!

 

[fogbat]

In the pub next to my work, they usually have ads for a new DVD release in the gents.

Currently the ads are for Mel Gibson flick Edge of Darkness.

They only have one review from a media outlet on the cover of the DVD. It is four stars. From Nuts magazine.


I've not seen it, but that doesn't bode well.

 

[ExtraRefined]

Just remembered another really awful b-movie;

http://moria.co.nz/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=912&Itemid=0

Like most of these films, The Creeping Terror exerts a terribleness that is fascinating to see. The gap between what it sets out to achieve and what it actually does achieve is a gaping chasm. An alien ship coming down is rather laughably represented by stock footage of the launch of a Saturn rocket being played in reverse. Two thirds or more of the plot is told in narration – the reason for this being that the film’s soundtrack was lost and so director Art J. Nelson dubbed the entire thing himself. Every time we cut back to the crashed alien ship we are treated to the same repeated shots of two soldiers pacing back and forward in front of it and of the same wobbling alien creature inside. Most hilarious of all is the carpet monster. It looks exactly like a carpet draped over several people. It creeps so slowly that the only way for it to catch victims is for them to stay still or fall over, which they constantly do with naturally amusing results. One shot of a bikinied girl being swallowed up and her screams continuing to emit has an audience in laughter. Although the funniest scene is where the creature attacks a dancehall and pursues a group of people who all flee the hall in a panic that takes place at a walking pace.

 

[The Octagon]

Not particularly. I'm not a fan of anyone in the film. Maybe it's just that it moves so quickly from one skit to the next that I don't mind it so much as a whole. I think I just like all the daft sentimental little bits. I can't explain it actually.
Here is a little clip of me acting a bit out of Love actually for a TV show.

It's the first clip.

Enjoy.

[begin shallow mode] That girl is gorgeous [end shallow mode]

Oooh, I can't view videos at work but now I am desperately keen to be able to watch that!