What can't you cook? A thread to learn from other urbs

[felixthecat]

Couldn't cook an omelette to save my life. Don't know why they're supposed to be easy. It just gets stuck to the pan and goes all gooey.

I'm the same. I can cook just about anything else, bake bread and cakes, make preserves, pastry etc but the simple omlette? Fuck if I know what I'm doing wrong

 

[Epona]

Half of cooking is cold hard SCIENCE and half is experience and tasting. For reaction type stuff (stuff that needs to be thickened, cakes, bread) you can't go wrong following a recipe.

I agree with that, follow a recipe using exact amounts for sauces if you're not consistently getting it right - if you then make them often enough you will probably be able to do it in your sleep after a while. A white sauce is cooked when it goes glossy, if you have to carry on beyond that to thicken it then you've used the wrong quantities and it will be overcooked

 

[strung out]

You could put mushroom ketchup in as an alternative.

this. mushroom ketchup is a great alternative for worcestershire sauce.

 

[Biddlybee]

Couldn't cook an omelette to save my life. Don't know why they're supposed to be easy. It just gets stuck to the pan and goes all gooey.

I'm the same. I can cook just about anything else, bake bread and cakes, make preserves, pastry etc but the simple omlette? Fuck if I know what I'm doing wrong

How are you cooking them?

 

[Looby]

Next time you come up I'll teach you

Ta.

God I'm loving this thread.

Someone on here posted a good method of turning cheap steak into tender steak by covering it with rock salt for a while then washing it off, drying and cooking the steak. I hate to say it, but expensive steak is always going to be better than cheap steak. Or rather, good steak is always going to be more expensive than shit steak.
Your pan has to be very hot, and you flash fry it. Let it rest like you would a roasted bit of beef, and always season after you cook it, not before. Have you tried all that?

What's wrong with your meringues? The bowl, mixer, etc all have to be scrupulously clean, and no trace of yolk. It takes longer than you think to get them stiff - often after I put the sugar in the mixture goes all gloopy and I think "fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck", but if I stand there whisking it for a good while more (more than common sense dictates) it always fluffs up again.

ETA: is your kitchen very steamy? Humidity can scupper meringues sometimes. The mixtue can still be salvaged though - do lots of thinish layers of it and sandwich them all together with berries mushed up and mixed into whipped cream.

Re the steak-I think much of the problem is I don't buy really good steak but I kind of don't want to until I can cook cheapish steak without fucking it up. I will try the rock salt thing, ta.


I might try meringue again now I have my kenwood mixer-it's improved my cakes because I'm getting more air in I think so might be better for meringues too.

 

[Threshers_Flail]

Cheers TitanSound.

 

[TitanSound]

Ta.




Re the steak-I think much of the problem is I don't buy really good steak but I kind of don't want to until I can cook cheapish steak without fucking it up. I will try the rock salt thing, ta.


I might try meringue again now I have my kenwood mixer-it's improved my cakes because I'm getting more air in I think so might be better for meringues too.

With cheaper cuts of steak make sure you bash the shit out of them to tenderize them. You could try marinading it a bit in some olive oil and lemon juice for a couple of hours also.

Cheers TitanSound.

No worries

 

[Spark]

With cheaper cuts of steak make sure you bash the shit out of them to tenderize them. You could try marinading it a bit in some olive oil and lemon juice for a couple of hours also.

QUOTE]

I don't like bashing steaks to tenderise them as i prefer my steaks thick and i don't want to flatten them out.

For steaks I season them with salt and pepper before I cook doing it a bit in advance. Sometimes I also rub in chopped oregano or other herbs. Then rub a bit of olive oil on the steak.

When I'm ready to cook I heat the pan until its very hot but no extra oil. Put the steak in and cook quickly on both sides so it's beginning to char on the outside but is still pretty raw on the inside. Then I leave them to rest for about 5 minutes on a pre-heated plate in an oven on a low heat (plate warming level). This cooks them to perfectly rare/medium rare and they're also very tender.

 

[Cloo]

I can never manage those dishes that involve breaking an egg on top of something (often a cheese/potato involving thing) and then baking it. You're supposed to end up with a nicely cooked egg on top (and the recipe usually says something like 10 mins), but whenever I've tried it, I've left it for ages, up to 40 minutes, and the egg has remained barely cooked.

Also, my cakes are quite nice, but often end up a bit 'heavy' - either I'm using too much flour and/or my 'folding' technique sucks. Any tips for folding cake ingredients?

 

[Pip]

I can never manage those dishes that involve breaking an egg on top of something (often a cheese/potato involving thing) and then baking it. You're supposed to end up with a nicely cooked egg on top (and the recipe usually says something like 10 mins), but whenever I've tried it, I've left it for ages, up to 40 minutes, and the egg has remained barely cooked.

Also, my cakes are quite nice, but often end up a bit 'heavy' - either I'm using too much flour and/or my 'folding' technique sucks. Any tips for folding cake ingredients?

I can't help with the egg, sorry.

Try replacing a spoonful of normal flour with cornflour. Use an electric hand whisk and - this sounds poncey and ridiculous and I don't really believe it, but do it anyway - when you're sieving the flour hold the sieve quite high above the bowl. Use caster sugar, not normal sugar. Erm, I think that's all. Maybe try another recipe?

 

[Looby]

If you use a mixer I've found a massive difference between my food processor with a lid and my Kenwood.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Kenwood-Pat...1?ie=UTF8&s=home-garden&qid=1245338083&sr=1-1

My cakes are much lighter now.

 

[Biddlybee]

One day I will win one of these ^

 

[Cloo]

We have a Magimix, which I suspect has a cake mixing function. But I'm scared of the Magimix... it's too big and heavy with lots of... bits.

 

[Looby]

One day I will win one of these ^

I love my kenwood. Even when it's not in use it just sits there looking so pretty.

We have a Magimix, which I suspect has a cake mixing function. But I'm scared of the Magimix... it's too big and heavy with lots of... bits.

Try it.

 

[sojourner]

Couldn't cook an omelette to save my life. Don't know why they're supposed to be easy. It just gets stuck to the pan and goes all gooey.

The thing with omelettes is the cooking process.

Heat some oil in a frying pan until quite hot, pour your egg mixture in, and as soon as it's in, start bringing in the edges with a spatula - pull the eggs into the middle of the pan, over and over again all around the edges. This gives it a nice shape, but more important, you tilt the pan after each pull, so that the rest of the eggs fill the space.

You will end up with some of the top of the eggs a bit uncooked. Don't worry about this - if you put filling in, and then fold it in half (in the pan) it will cook the egg perfectly

 

[sojourner]

Oh, and I know non-stick pans are frowned upon, but they are invaluable for a good fried egg or omelette

 

[ringo]

I want mushroom ketchup then. I dn't want to buy it though. Anyone teach me how to cook it?

 

[Looby]

Go easy when you use mushroom ketchup. Magic Sam poured some liberally into a lovely risotto I was making and it was like eating a bowl of salted rice.

 

[Hassan I Sabha]

Back to meringues

I bake them for an hour, leave them in the oven overnight and then next day they look fine but they have an eggshell outside thickness and the inside seems uncooked

My baking sheets have a really small lip and I am cooking the meringues on that reuseable silicon paper so I am wondering is it the fact that the meringue is not touching the baking tray a possible problem? I do not have any problem with cooking other items at low temps so I do not think it is the over temp.

 

[felixthecat]

The thing with omelettes is the cooking process.

Heat some oil in a frying pan until quite hot, pour your egg mixture in, and as soon as it's in, start bringing in the edges with a spatula - pull the eggs into the middle of the pan, over and over again all around the edges. This gives it a nice shape, but more important, you tilt the pan after each pull, so that the rest of the eggs fill the space.

You will end up with some of the top of the eggs a bit uncooked. Don't worry about this - if you put filling in, and then fold it in half (in the pan) it will cook the egg perfectly

THat is exactly how I've always tried to do it but its always a mess. I think I'm just destined for omlettes to be my bete noir

 

[mrsfran]

Oh, and I know non-stick pans are frowned upon, but they are invaluable for a good fried egg or omelette

Are they? God, I couldn't live without mine.

 

[ExtraRefined]

My steaks are always shit. Too tough, too burnt etc etc

Cheap steak, especially rump will never be tender. Not helped in the UK by the insistence on too lean meat - you need some marbling.

Steak can't really be tooo burnt on the outside IMO. At the thickness it's usually sold in the supermarket, you want to be cooking it for about 60-90 seconds a side on a ribbed griddle, hot enough to burn peanut oil. This is largely a matter of taste though.

I can't cook risottos, but I've never tried

Chicken stock (preferably homemade) just below boiling in one pot, possibly with a pinch of saffron. Fry onions, then carnaroli rice in too much butter, then add wine, followed by stock ladlewise as it's absorbed, stirring constantly. Should take about 20 minutes. Add more butter, parmesan, and cooked veg / meat and leave for 3 minutes.

Liquid:rice is about 3:1 by weight, everything else you can vary.

Adding the stock too quickly or not stirring enough are the only things you can fuck up really.

 

[strung out]

I want mushroom ketchup then. I dn't want to buy it though. Anyone teach me how to cook it?

found a recipe here... http://www.allotment.org.uk/recipe/239/mushroom-ketchup-recipe/

though tbh, i reckon it's too much hassle to do that when you can buy some great stuff for about £2. would be interesting to see how different home made mushroom ketchup tastes though.

 

[Riklet]

If when cooking an omelette with tons of shizzle in it, make sure you get that a'sizzling away in butter/oil; the onions, meat, vegetables and what not, and clear out the centre a bit, then pour the beaten egg over. Omlettes like this are kinda hard to flip and not the easiest to tug around, but you should keep pulling the edges and letting the runny egg settle, don't worry about fucking the shape up, it'll settle back fine. If you think the omelette is too loaded to flip, then wack the grill on and finish it off QUICKLY under there, but leave it a bit gooey cos a dry omelette isn't as nice really, although you can salvage it with lots of melted cheese if need be.

A great tip with gravy is to use a spoon of Marmite (yes, the devil's gunk!) to make the stock and then add that to the roux. Works with "Meat" or veggie gravy, you can use the run offs from roasting meat or vegetables, both works fine.

Trick to a good curry is don't be afraid of spices; get your whole cumin, turmeric, chilli flakes and whatnot in asap, make sure you have GARLIC, more chinesey spices work great in most Indian curries; stuff like star anise and fennel especially. Don't be afraid to put cardamom seeds and stuff in, and never forget salt and pepper! I'm a big fan of garam masala and paprika too, so those usually get whammed in although those don't need frying really. I find a good few spoonfuls of yoghurt works nicely in a curry, or more if you like it creamy... anywhere up to half a pot, say? Don't fry chicken too long or over-stew it until it becomes tough, lamb or potatoes are easier in this respect. Don't add (cooked) chickpeas or lentils too early unless you want them to really mush into the curry sauce (which can be lovely). Put coriander in towards the end. Don't be afraid to use tomatoes in a curry, and use a stock cube or some flour if it needs thickening.

I reckon my fried eggs could be better, considering I cook them all the time. Any tips on perfecto scrambled eggs either? Mine are pretty nice, but the more you know etc...

brown sugar and dark chocolate go well into spicy dishes I find. Try a bit of both in a chilli with some beer added too... guaranteed noms!

 

[Detroit City]

I'm rubbish at making good, thick vegetarian gravy. It never tastes as good as that powdered stuff.

Tell me how to make a great veggie gravy please.

fuck that i don't want to teach any of these clowns how to cook proper

 

[Frankie Jack]

I can catch.. kill.. take the jacket off.. or cook it with it's face on.. Grow.. find veg.. beg.. borrow or steal a plate o' food.. I prefer to purchase civilised ingreedients and cook them to the best of the ingreedients an my abilities....

I have an "aversion" to..

Tripe.. Swetbreads..

Muscles.. Whelks..

Marrow.. Celery..

Everything else is culinarily edible and cookable...

YET... If I was hungry I'd cook and eat all the above..


yes... even bugs.. eyeballs and bollocks... hmmmmmmmmmmmm... Never been that hungry......

YET..!!

 

[ringo]

Oh, and I know non-stick pans are frowned upon, but they are invaluable for a good fried egg or omelette

Yup, I'm a convert. Used to use a cast iron frying pan but since buying a decent non-stick I've never gone back. I've also recently bought a large non-stick milk pan for bechemel sauce & scrambled eggs.

 

[ringo]

fuck that i don't want to teach any of these clowns how to cook proper

Come on DC, show us your generous side. This is a thread for sharing the love.

 

[rennie]

I would like to be able to make a nice and easy chicken marinade. Any volunteers?

 

[Biddlybee]

Chicken stock (preferably homemade) just below boiling in one pot, possibly with a pinch of saffron. Fry onions, then carnaroli rice in too much butter, then add wine, followed by stock ladlewise as it's absorbed, stirring constantly. Should take about 20 minutes. Add more butter, parmesan, and cooked veg / meat and leave for 3 minutes.

Liquid:rice is about 3:1 by weight, everything else you can vary.

Adding the stock too quickly or not stirring enough are the only things you can fuck up really.

Cheers

I would like to be able to make a nice and easy chicken marinade. Any volunteers?

Any hint on what sort of flavour?