Actually the basic characteristic of life is not to expand. From basic ecology, it is to occupy a steady state equilibrium at the population determined by the first limiting unsubstitutable resource. Life expands until it reaches that limiting point - if it carries on expanding (say, by drawing down stocks of the limiting resource) it enters a phase of overshoot. Then, when the stock is exhausted, it finds itself at a population level higher than can be sustained by the underlying rate of replenishment of the resource. Then it experiences die-off until the population reverts to its sustainable level. (Yes, that is more or less the position we find ourselves today in relation to hydrocarbon).
From game theory, there is more than one set of rules that can give rise to stable equilibria (so called "Nash equilibria" - Nash was the mathematician popularised in the movie "Beautiful Mind" who worked out the maths of some of this). The golden rule gives rise to one. So does eating the male immediately after copulation. When you are picking one, you are making a moral judgement - the opposite process to hoping that a moral normative principle emerges from observing stable equilibria. You could argue that different rules give rise to different levels of satisfaction, but then you have to judge again - the female spider is perfectly satisfied with the arrangement (as are their human female equivalents).
So - no. You can't.