There was a bird in my house just now.

[Steel Icarus]

They're for Cadbury's Creme Eggs. They're shit at room temperature.

Ugh, no, the white goes hard and weird if they're cold

 

[Saul Goodman]

And then break your teeth on them.

Sharpen your teeth first with a Dremel. It makes for easier chewage.

 

[farmerbarleymow]

They're for Cadbury's Creme Eggs. They're shit at room temperature.

They are foil covered turds - horrible things.

 

[bellaozzydog]

It’s a standard portent of doom, you watch, a terrible plague will descend on the land or something

 

[WouldBe]

It’s a standard portent of doom, you watch, a terrible plague will descend on the land or something

Bit late. Was it a dodo?

 

[cyril_smear]

Get a moped then.


So why do fridges have special egg racks in them if you're not supposed to keep eggs in the fridge?

It's just a gimmick.

 

[Saul Goodman]

It's just a gimmick.

It's a remnant from a time when people knew no better, and thought eggs should be in the fridge. I blame that Eggwina Curry person.

 

[scifisam]

Innit that if an egg floats it's good and if it sinks it's bad? Like opposite to witches?

The exact opposite. Eggs go off when the shell starts to let tiny bits of air in. That's why shaking them also works.

 

[cyril_smear]

It's a remnant from a time when people knew no better, and thought eggs should be in the fridge. I blame that Eggwina Curry person.

typical conservative cunt; always lying.

 

[eatmorecheese]

I'm tapping away merrily on my PC under the stairs, when an intense flittering fluttering sound came down the stairs attached to a bird. Before I could react other than to exclaim "What the fuck is that?" (knowing the actual question should be "How the fuck is that?" it had gone back upstairs.

Legged it up after it to see it at the closed bathroom window, clearly panicking and flapping. So I did what any rational person would do, and shut it in there and started to panic myself.

Luckily The Boy came out of his room (The Girl already having barricaded herself in hers). I gave him instructions (get in there making sure the door is open for as short a time as possible) then open the window and encourage it out. He did this admirably and without fuss.

What I want to know is how on earth it could have got in. There were no windows open upstairs, and though the back or patio doors are often open for extended periods we would surely have noticed a bird come in that way.

There are birds nesting in the roof as they do every year, there's a gap in the fascia or whatever it's called. Soffit, I dunno. But no way to get from there to the house, the attic is full of insulating foam and the trapdoor hasn't been opened in a decade.

How did it get in? Tell me, suburban75.

This is quite a conundrum.

As an aside, did the bird shit in the bath? Asking for a friend...

 

[farmerbarleymow]

It's a remnant from a time when people knew no better, and thought eggs should be in the fridge. I blame that Eggwina Curry person.

Sod off yer weirdo - we've had this debate endlessly - eggs are better kept in the fridge. Only wrong 'uns don't do this.

 

[xenon]

Or you might have a household member who is an alien shapeshifter, and they transmogrified into a bird.

Definitley this^ Happened to a mate of mine.

True story.

 

[scifisam]

Definitley this^ Happened to a mate of mine.

True story.

I've had friends who turned out to be complete cocks, too.

 

[WouldBe]

I've had friends who turned out to be complete cocks, too.

I've known a few who were cuckoo.

 

[Aladdin]

It's a remnant from a time when people knew no better, and thought eggs should be in the fridge. I blame that Eggwina Curry person.

Egg curry is quite tasty.

 

[Saul Goodman]

Sod off yer weirdo - we've had this debate endlessly - eggs are better kept in the fridge. Only wrong 'uns don't do this.

If the best before date is a fortnight after I've finished them, why would I keep them in the fridge?

 

[Steel Icarus]

This is quite a conundrum.

As an aside, did the bird shit in the bath? Asking for a friend...

On the bathmat draped on the side of the bath, and on the windowsill