There was a bird in my house just now.

[Steel Icarus]

I'm tapping away merrily on my PC under the stairs, when an intense flittering fluttering sound came down the stairs attached to a bird. Before I could react other than to exclaim "What the fuck is that?" (knowing the actual question should be "How the fuck is that?" it had gone back upstairs.

Legged it up after it to see it at the closed bathroom window, clearly panicking and flapping. So I did what any rational person would do, and shut it in there and started to panic myself.

Luckily The Boy came out of his room (The Girl already having barricaded herself in hers). I gave him instructions (get in there making sure the door is open for as short a time as possible) then open the window and encourage it out. He did this admirably and without fuss.

What I want to know is how on earth it could have got in. There were no windows open upstairs, and though the back or patio doors are often open for extended periods we would surely have noticed a bird come in that way.

There are birds nesting in the roof as they do every year, there's a gap in the fascia or whatever it's called. Soffit, I dunno. But no way to get from there to the house, the attic is full of insulating foam and the trapdoor hasn't been opened in a decade.

How did it get in? Tell me, suburban75.

 

[Mrs Miggins]

Magic

 

[farmerbarleymow]

How did it get in? Tell me, suburban75.

Teleportation.

Glad the bird is free though.

 

[Mrs Miggins]

Have you got any top hats lying around? They often act as a portal for birds. Or is that rabbits?

 

[farmerbarleymow]

Did you leave some eggs out of the fridge? One might have hatched.

 

[farmerbarleymow]

A portal may have opened from the bird universe - and the bird accidentally strayed before the portal closed. It's now trapped in our dimension.

 

[Mrs Miggins]

A portal may have opened from the bird universe.....

The way things are now, I can believe that anything is possible. Even that.

 

[farmerbarleymow]

Or you might have a household member who is an alien shapeshifter, and they transmogrified into a bird.

 

[Steel Icarus]

Or you might have a household member who is an alien shapeshifter, and they transmogrified into a bird.

I wonder if it was my cousin Feathers

 

[farmerbarleymow]

Or perhaps a chicken you had in the fridge for dinner wasn't quite dead, and decided to flee to escape a fiery doom.

 

[farmerbarleymow]

Hope our suggestions have been constructive and helpful.

 

[cyril_smear]

Did you leave some eggs out of the fridge? One might have hatched.

Fridge?

 

[farmerbarleymow]

Did it look like this? Might have been a time-traveller.

 

[two sheds]

Down the chimney

Mind you I get flies in the house who've overwintered around the sash windows. Perhaps it did the same.

What sort of bird was it?

 

[High Voltage]

From the thread title I thought that this was some sort of "laddish boasting" and more applicable to knobbing and sobbing . . . then I read the post

 

[farmerbarleymow]

Down the chimney

Mind you I get flies in the house who've overwintered around the sash windows. Perhaps it did the same.

What sort of bird was it?

We had a bird fall down the chimney in a house we lived in in the 70s. It was lurking between the gas fire and back boiler, so my dad had to move the fire to free it. It flew round the room like mad, dumping loads of soot everywhere before he could encourage it to fly through the window.

 

[two sheds]

We had a bird fall down the chimney in a house we lived in in the 70s. It was lurking between the gas fire and back boiler, so my dad had to move the fire to free it. It flew round the room like mad, dumping loads of soot everywhere before he could encourage it to fly through the window.

S☼I probably just didn't notice the soot. It'll be there on the carpet somewhere.

 

[Saul Goodman]

farmerbarleymow probably posted it through the letterbox, so he could post nice things about it.

 

[Yossarian]

I'm tapping away merrily on my PC under the stairs

Were you tweeting?

 

[farmerbarleymow]

Maybe S☼I has been partaking in hallucinogens, and the bird never actually existed.

 

[Mrs Miggins]

Fridge?

Quality Urban reply

 

[Proper Tidy]

Have you got a cat? It's a daily occurance for us at the moment cos the cat loves this time of year when the birds are young and easy to catch, except this year she seems to have decided to just catch them and bring them in alive. It's like she can't be arsed with the death bit, fair play really. She doesn't even look interested when I'm shoeing the little bird out with a mop or waving a plate to stop it flying further into our domain, she just watches, in years gone by she'd have been going mental trying to get to the bird

 

[strung out]

Reminds me of when a woodpecker flew into our house last year and promptly knocked itself out.

 

[Steel Icarus]

!!!

 

[Steel Icarus]

Have you got a cat? It's a daily occurance for us at the moment cos the cat loves this time of year when the birds are young and easy to catch, except this year she seems to have decided to just catch them and bring them in alive. It's like she can't be arsed with the death bit, fair play really. She doesn't even look interested when I'm shoeing the little bird out with a mop or waving a plate to stop it flying further into our domain, she just watches, in years gone by she'd have been going mental trying to get to the bird

Three dogs

 

[Proper Tidy]

Three dogs

Have any of them been knocking around with cats

 

[dessiato]

Transperambulation of pseudo cosmic anti matter.

 

[Steel Icarus]

Have any of them been knocking around with cats

Not that they've let on

 

[ska invita]

Or perhaps a chicken you had in the fridge for dinner wasn't quite dead, and decided to flee to escape a fiery doom.

i was once in a canteen when over breakfast someone had a soft boiled egg and it had a fetus in it! They screemed very very loud.

Check this though

Balut, The Terrifying Hard-Boiled Duck Fetus That's Also A Tasty Aphrodisiac

Every culture has a culinary specialty that raises the eyebrows—if not the gorges—of people from other cultures. Scots have haggis. Swedes have surströmming. Filipinos have balut, a hard-boiled duck egg. It sounds innocent enough, until you find out the egg is fertilized and allowed to develop...

thetakeout.com

grim
though not that worst than any chicken eating i guess



love the way this looks >

 

[nogojones]

The bird might have a key. You'll probablly have to change the locks