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The Urban Poetry Challenge thread
- Thread starter ShiftyBagLady
- Start date
Pickman's model
Starry Wisdom
when Cheesypoof has finished i'll do mine
Thanks Cheesy
All done! Soj - I have a question for you about your spoken word performances - do you stick to the words of your poems as you say them, or do you sometimes improvise? I have huge admiration for spoken word poets, and free style performers too.
Like to share with you, a poem I found (through those crazy emails!!) that my SISTER 
wrote about me, in Oct 2006 (during my poetry phase )
Ode to a Free Spirit
She climbed the steeper staircase
Which led to the inner door
She turned the handle purposefully
Unafraid of what lay in store
She navigated her way hopefully
As the masses kept watch on the shore.
She wrote afterwards:
You are the real free spirit in our family and that is why this poem
is an ode to those special qualities which I admire in you.
wrote about me, in Oct 2006 (during my poetry phase )Ode to a Free Spirit
She climbed the steeper staircase
Which led to the inner door
She turned the handle purposefully
Unafraid of what lay in store
She navigated her way hopefully
As the masses kept watch on the shore.
She wrote afterwards:
You are the real free spirit in our family and that is why this poem
is an ode to those special qualities which I admire in you.
Pickman's model
Starry Wisdom
./.
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bubblesmcgrath
Well-Known Member
Mid term break by Seamus Heaney
I sat all morning in the college sick bay
Counting bells knelling classes to a close.
At two o'clock our neighbors drove me home.
In the porch I met my father crying--
He had always taken funerals in his stride--
And Big Jim Evans saying it was a hard blow.
The baby cooed and laughed and rocked the pram
When I came in, and I was embarrassed
By old men standing up to shake my hand
And tell me they were "sorry for my trouble,"
Whispers informed strangers I was the eldest,
Away at school, as my mother held my hand
In hers and coughed out angry tearless sighs.
At ten o'clock the ambulance arrived
With the corpse, stanched and bandaged by the nurses.
Next morning I went up into the room. Snowdrops
And candles soothed the bedside; I saw him
For the first time in six weeks. Paler now,
Wearing a poppy bruise on his left temple,
He lay in the four foot box as in his cot.
No gaudy scars, the bumper knocked him clear.
A four foot box, a foot for every year..
I sat all morning in the college sick bay
Counting bells knelling classes to a close.
At two o'clock our neighbors drove me home.
In the porch I met my father crying--
He had always taken funerals in his stride--
And Big Jim Evans saying it was a hard blow.
The baby cooed and laughed and rocked the pram
When I came in, and I was embarrassed
By old men standing up to shake my hand
And tell me they were "sorry for my trouble,"
Whispers informed strangers I was the eldest,
Away at school, as my mother held my hand
In hers and coughed out angry tearless sighs.
At ten o'clock the ambulance arrived
With the corpse, stanched and bandaged by the nurses.
Next morning I went up into the room. Snowdrops
And candles soothed the bedside; I saw him
For the first time in six weeks. Paler now,
Wearing a poppy bruise on his left temple,
He lay in the four foot box as in his cot.
No gaudy scars, the bumper knocked him clear.
A four foot box, a foot for every year..
Thanks you two - appreciate it
I stick to the words I've practised Cheesy. It takes me quite a while to learn them, as I have a shit memory. Also - you should never under-estimate how much you ARE going to shit yourself when you get up on a stage, in front of a mic, in front of people. Everyone shits it. This means you are less likely to be able to make stuff up on the spot.
I do sometimes add in a 'yeh!', or tiny remarks, lots of facial gestures too, but no, I never change my words unless it's a fuck up on my part
DotCommunist
So many particulars. So many questions.
I'm still lobbying for 'debt' but am fine if anyone wants to go elsewhere.
I haven't looked at this thread for quite a while. As it's been suggested more than once I'll try and do something on the 'debt' theme...if i manage it I'll share it on here. I have written very little in both April and May; probably no more than a dozen or so. Not too bothered about that, I've had other things on my mind, and truth be told, first and foremost only write to suit myself really. I'm sure I will get back into the swing of things....
Not in keeping with the debt theme, but riddle me this:
If you're going out,
I'll wait for you,
If you're coming out,
Then come with me,
I'll go round you
If you're going in,
My comrades save lives
And some call it a sin.
Useful when nailing
But never a nail,
If I split
I'll turn you pale.
If you're going out,
I'll wait for you,
If you're coming out,
Then come with me,
I'll go round you
If you're going in,
My comrades save lives
And some call it a sin.
Useful when nailing
But never a nail,
If I split
I'll turn you pale.
Not exactly difficult.
DotCommunist
So many particulars. So many questions.
What lies quick is not
lime or lover or swift cut
it speaks of sorrow
lime or lover or swift cut
it speaks of sorrow
Slightly off-topic, but on a poetry theme, there's a free poetry event called 'Open Bed', on Sunday 13th July, doors open at around 7 of half past I think, at the Flying Dutchman pub, on the corner of Wells Way & Southhampton Way in Camberwell.
If you're not into the World Cup Final on the box on the same night, this would be a good distraction for you!
The format is two 'headlining' poets, with the rest being 'opne mic' slots.
You can check the person who runs it out on Facebook, as well as the event itself.
And more details here: http://www.writeoutloud.net/public/eventview.php?search=unmade bed
If you're not into the World Cup Final on the box on the same night, this would be a good distraction for you!
The format is two 'headlining' poets, with the rest being 'opne mic' slots.
You can check the person who runs it out on Facebook, as well as the event itself.
And more details here: http://www.writeoutloud.net/public/eventview.php?search=unmade bed
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Corrected for you, unless timetravel has become possible.
D'oh! Bit of a typo, I'm afraid!Corrected for you, unless timetravel has become possible.
Dillinger4
Es gibt Zeit
A single blackbird
In fading twilight, singing
The song of autumn
In fading twilight, singing
The song of autumn
May Kasahara
take me to the feeling
Just looking through an old diary and found this.
Submersible
hands to the hull
expecting your tapping, your ghosts
late at night I hunt you through the dark
so many fates wrapped up in
your airless little world
it is hard to believe in you
tappings, knockings
are you alive in there?
what do you hear?
wonder about the tide
is it stormy where you are
serene at the bottom, awaiting lift
toward the light
when your fate is in others' hands
serenity reigns
you are at peace, whatever
storms fly above
at night I dream I am in there with you
gasping for escape
Submersible
hands to the hull
expecting your tapping, your ghosts
late at night I hunt you through the dark
so many fates wrapped up in
your airless little world
it is hard to believe in you
tappings, knockings
are you alive in there?
what do you hear?
wonder about the tide
is it stormy where you are
serene at the bottom, awaiting lift
toward the light
when your fate is in others' hands
serenity reigns
you are at peace, whatever
storms fly above
at night I dream I am in there with you
gasping for escape
A really atmospheric piece May Kasahara Great title, and wonderful ideas that swim around the unborn child, but a child who may be carrying other spirits/your expectations within? I can't help but think of your son and your brother here - a feeling that is repeated with that powerful last line.
Okay, on a technical side of things, I've got a few suggestions that you're more than welcome to ignore Always remember this is only my analysis, you are the poet creator.
I'd move that 'in' from the end of the 1st line/2nd stanza to the start of the 2nd line.
Also, the 'whatever' in the penultimate verse - I think it would work better on its own line. Gives it much more freedom that way - more room for interpretation.
You use pronouns freely, but stanza 3 lacks one in the first line, and I think it would work better if it had one.
Great title, and wonderful ideas that swim around the unborn child, but a child who may be carrying other spirits/your expectations within? I can't help but think of your son and your brother here - a feeling that is repeated with that powerful last line.Okay, on a technical side of things, I've got a few suggestions that you're more than welcome to ignore
Always remember this is only my analysis, you are the poet creator.I'd move that 'in' from the end of the 1st line/2nd stanza to the start of the 2nd line.
Also, the 'whatever' in the penultimate verse - I think it would work better on its own line. Gives it much more freedom that way - more room for interpretation.
You use pronouns freely, but stanza 3 lacks one in the first line, and I think it would work better if it had one.
May Kasahara
take me to the feeling
Cheers soj, critique always welcome I posted it exactly as I found it in the diary, do usually tinker with things as you suggest but didn't really have a clear enough view on this one iyswim, so your feedback is v helpful.
I posted it exactly as I found it in the diary, do usually tinker with things as you suggest but didn't really have a clear enough view on this one iyswim, so your feedback is v helpful.
Ceej
Where is my mind?
I love this thread!! I so wish I could write...strictly at the consumer end of the deal, me.
Off to this tomorrow...
http://www.speaking-volumes.org.uk/events/stand_up_and_spit/
Off to this tomorrow...
http://www.speaking-volumes.org.uk/events/stand_up_and_spit/
I so would. A mate linked me the Morning Star piece about it, thinking I could apply, but a) it was all booked up and b) you kinda had to have been there at the time in order to qualify getting a gig on it
Enjoy!
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