Sexual street harassment in Brixton
- Thread starter S A Villarino
- Start date
el-ahrairah
forward communism, forward gerbils!
not just on the streets mind. try drinking in one of the brixton pubs in a low cut top on a saturday night.
el-ahrairah
forward communism, forward gerbils!
or walking around in the early hours near all the knocking shops on brixton hill.
yuk.
yuk.
Effrasurfer
SW2 I Love You
My favorite not quite harassment story:
I was on my way home and a guy came to chat me up. He was from Jamaica and was a poet and told me about his life. So I was waiting for him to ask when I could see him which he did. My reply was that I had a boyfriend who wouldn't be happy with me meeting other men. I expected him to tell me that the boyfriend "don't need to know". Instead, the gentleman said that he wouldn't want to cause any problems with my relationship and had enjoyed talking to me. he wished me good day and went on his way.
I wouldn't call that not quite harassment, I'd call it not harassment.
Thimble Queen
Called away to another place
quote="Effrasurfer, post: 12483820, member: 25693"]I suspect you may be being sarcastic here but just in case, no, it's not, it's just my opinion and forgive me for anticipating what I thought might be the next question.[/quote]
It hadn't occurred to me to ask you how long you've been in Brixton. I don't think that's overly relevant. The OP herself has only been in the area for a short time.
I would put being asked for business in the category of sexual harassment.
It hadn't occurred to me to ask you how long you've been in Brixton. I don't think that's overly relevant. The OP herself has only been in the area for a short time.
I would put being asked for business in the category of sexual harassment.
Private Storm
Smell The Glove
Has there ever, in the history of mankind, been a bloke that has successful embarked on a relationship of a sexual nature with a woman he has beeped the horn of his white van at and shouted "oi, sexy" at?
I suspect not. You'd think this would have somehow filtered through over time, but apparently not.
I suspect not. You'd think this would have somehow filtered through over time, but apparently not.
Well, there is a thread in general entitled silent colleague which seems to be specifically about this clash.
So yes, you would do well to remember it.
Gramsci
Well-Known Member
My favorite not quite harassment story:
I was on my way home and a guy came to chat me up. He was from Jamaica and was a poet and told me about his life. So I was waiting for him to ask when I could see him which he did. My reply was that I had a boyfriend who wouldn't be happy with me meeting other men. I expected him to tell me that the boyfriend "don't need to know". Instead, the gentleman said that he wouldn't want to cause any problems with my relationship and had enjoyed talking to me. he wished me good day and went on his way.
Slightly off topic. But this irritates me.
I have a female friend who I see very little now as her boyfriend does not approve.
Recently happened again. Someone I used to deliver to I met in street. Had not seen her for a year. We always got on so swapped numbers to stay in touch. Later in day get text saying boyfriend did not approve. Texted back to say I understood.
Why can women not have male friends?
Manter
Lunch Mob
I am thinking this as I type so it may come out utterly scrambled, so bear with me.... On the power/vulnerability thing, is it about essentially powerless men (because they are inadequate, not sexually desirable generally, do not perceive themselves to be sexually desirable to that woman, because she is very clearly marked as 'belonging' to another man eg pregnant) trying to assert some sort of power and control over women? A kind of dog pissing against a lamppost thing almost. Which may explain the lads in front of friends, picking on women who may not be the 'most attractive' or 'provocatively' dressed- it's not a out a hot girl showing leg, it's about something that is off limits to them and they push back against that powerlessness with crudity and sexual language as it is all they have to assert power? That the 'thing' is a living breathing human female is almost irrelevant (bear with me....) it's almost like keying a car you can't afford.
Linked to young kids saying stuff, they are aware of their sexuality on some level and their masculinity on some level but know they are essentially sexually powerless/useless/wouldn't know what to do with themselves if sex was offered, but it's them starting to assert themselves in an area where they are essentially inadequate and unsure and the only way they know how to do it is abusively.
As I said, sort of thinking aloud, and feel free to flame me. A little bit. But please be gentle
Linked to young kids saying stuff, they are aware of their sexuality on some level and their masculinity on some level but know they are essentially sexually powerless/useless/wouldn't know what to do with themselves if sex was offered, but it's them starting to assert themselves in an area where they are essentially inadequate and unsure and the only way they know how to do it is abusively.
As I said, sort of thinking aloud, and feel free to flame me. A little bit. But please be gentle
Effrasurfer
SW2 I Love You
Well, probably we differ there slightly. (Interesting side question: is a prostitute who offers 'business' to a passer by, sexually harassing them? Does it depend at all on how politely they offer?)
Also, I find the fact that the OP has been in the area for a short time and I've been here longer, relevant to the discussion of whether being 'comfortable on the street' has an impact. Personally, I've found that the longer I've lived here, the more comfortable I've felt on the streets, give or take.
Vibrant-Hubb
Active Member
"I was on my way home and a guy came to chat me up. He was from Jamaica and was a poet and told me about his life. So I was waiting for him to ask when I could see him which he did. My reply was that I had a boyfriend who wouldn't be happy with me meeting other men. I expected him to tell me that the boyfriend "don't need to know". Instead, the gentleman said that he wouldn't want to cause any problems with my relationship and had enjoyed talking to me. he wished me good day and went on his way"
Isn't that just "a pleasant man chatted me up?"
Isn't that just "a pleasant man chatted me up?"
Thimble Queen
Called away to another place
Effrasuffer - Yeah but sexual harassment on the street isnt unique to Brixton.
DotCommunist
So many particulars. So many questions.
I think you are miles off simply because I've seen 'buff' men with chiselled good looks doing the same shit. Not in Brixton, I've only ever been there twice and a man at the bustop called me a pussyole. I was fucking furious. ANYWAY.
Yeah its got shit all to do with inverse feelings of powerlessness. Its a pure dominance thing encouraged by societal attitudes etc
Yeah its got shit all to do with inverse feelings of powerlessness. Its a pure dominance thing encouraged by societal attitudes etc
Manter
Lunch Mob
Building on my previous post, does any man that does that actually want sex with the woman in question? Or is it like a dog spraying a lamppost- I'm here, look at me, acknowledge my maleness.
I seem to keep comparing certain types of men to dogs. Unfair on dogs and suggests I have unexplored issues
Its a bold statement to say one is comfortable on the streets.
In the old days it would be called streetwise... but nowadays people don't seem to use the term. It comes from spending a long time in that environment. A really long time.
Perhaps you were born in a similar kind of street culture and have long experience... maybe, I don't know. Were you? What qualifies you to say you are 'comfortable on the streets'?
I wouldn't go as far as to say I am comfortable on the streets and I am a six foot tall guy.
So perhaps don't be so hasty in getting righteous.
they can, cant they? Unless they have an insecure controlling dick for a boyfriend. Then it can be a struggle. But there's your reason.
Is 'the clash between those comfortable on the street and those not so' the clash between men and women?
Do you want it to be?
Manter
Lunch Mob
I assume that was to me? And yes good point. Buuuut.... Are those buff chiselled happy confident men, or are they insecure in their place in the world and doing a look at me I'm so manly thing?
Dunno.
Told you I had 't thought it through
Gramsci
Well-Known Member
No I have not felt sexually harassed. Its happened to me in Brixton and Soho.
Effrasurfer
SW2 I Love You
I am thinking this as I type so it may come out utterly scrambled, so bear with me.... On the power/vulnerability thing, is it about essentially powerless men (because they are inadequate, not sexually desirable generally, do not perceive themselves to be sexually desirable to that woman, because she is very clearly marked as 'belonging' to another man eg pregnant) trying to assert some sort of power and control over women? A kind of dog pissing against a lamppost thing almost. Which may explain the lads in front of friends, picking on women who may not be the 'most attractive' or 'provocatively' dressed- it's not a out a hot girl showing leg, it's about something that is off limits to them and they push back against that powerlessness with crudity and sexual language as it is all they have to assert power? That the 'thing' is a living breathing human female is almost irrelevant (bear with me....) it's almost like keying a car you can't afford.
Linked to young kids saying stuff, they are aware of their sexuality on some level and their masculinity on some level but know they are essentially sexually powerless/useless/wouldn't know what to do with themselves if sex was offered, but it's them starting to assert themselves in an area where they are essentially inadequate and unsure and the only way they know how to do it is abusively.
As I said, sort of thinking aloud, and feel free to flame me. A little bit. But please be gentle
Ah the mysteries of the male psyche! Who can tell? If only they could talk!
weepiper
I fix the machines that fight climate change
They're not doing it with the intention of getting laid. They're doing it as a power trip, to get a reaction.
I thought it was fairly clear. I was making a point about cultural differences.
You seem to be focussing on just one bit which I assume is because you want to take offense. Go ahead. Be my guest.
Thimble Queen
Called away to another place
Little woman how dare you feel comfortable on the street. I am a big man yes I am and I dont feel comfortable. Emasculated much?
Manter
Lunch Mob
They absolutely can and I do have lots- my two oldest, closest mates are blokes. But I think it takes honesty about the relationships and a secure boyfriend (eg is there a subtext, is it a fuck buddy just waiting for this bf to bugger off so they can return to the status quo, is the friend used to incite sexual jealousy for kicks/manipulation purposes, is there an undeclared/I worked through love thing going on.... All stuff I have seen in my circle of friends at various points!). Men trying to cut their other halves off from other men say fucked up relationship with issues to me.
In a decent, secure, loving relationship with honesty and sanity on both sides, friends of the other sex are no problem at all in my experience
Effrasurfer
SW2 I Love You
I never said it was! As far as I remember, the OP's questions were along the lines of: 1) is it particularly bad in Brixton? 2) anyone else have similar experiences. I am more answering question 2. I don't know much about point 1. because I do most of my walking about locally.
Thimble Queen
Called away to another place
Yeah we are all racists because we don't like being sexually harrassed. Your one creepy fucker.
Vibrant-Hubb
Active Member
If you are a gay, bi or pretty fem looking man you get a mix of "I want to kill you, I want to fuck you". It can be confusing and dangerous. All good looking Jamaicans I met in the street who wanted to fuck me, I just fucked. The ones who wanted to kill me I asked to fuck me first and hoped they'd forget to kill me. Mostly they forgot. It was the 80s, you know.
Manter
Lunch Mob
Next time I get kerb crawled I'll question them... 'Is this behaviour primarily driven by your sexual or social inadequacy, do you think?'
Effrasurfer
SW2 I Love You
I must be off to bed now but very interesting chat, thanks. Love, chaste hugs and respect to all - female, male, near and far.
Manter
Lunch Mob
In Brixton?
