Sorry...it was your friend's wife.
Take responsibility for your own shit danny. My position is clear, I'm very pro-indy. You only want it on your terms.
I want independence as means to an end. I'm a socialist. I think in the past you claim to have read James Connolly. (I may have misremembered this: if so, apologies). I suggest you re-read him.
"If you remove the English army tomorrow and hoist the green flag over Dublin Castle, unless you set about the organization of the Socialist Republic your efforts would be in vain." - James Connolly.
I was brought up in a household where John MacLean and James Connolly's names were bandied about with reverence almost daily in political discourse, by my Dad and uncles in their discussions, over dinner, in after pub carry out parties, and so on. My pro independence sentiment is as old as my socialism. The two are part of my background. But not in order to serve a Scottish ruling class. Never that.
So this stuff about it "not being about left or right" and "the left are largely running to the Tories" would be a huge problem for me if it was representative of the pro Indy movement (which thankfully it is not).
You have, by the way, not evidenced your claim. You point to graphics that show that many Labour voters have switched to the Tories. (Which I've already said long ago up-thread, and in other threads). But that isn't the same thing at all.
First, you need to explain how those voters a) represent the left at all b) are the majority of the left (which is what your phrase means: look up "largely"), c) explain by what measure Scottish Labour is "the left", let alone its former voters, most of whom are not members of any party, d) explain why you, a nationalist, don't want to see this shift in terms of Unionist sentiment, but in terms of "left" when you've already said it "isn't about left or right".
You're all over the place. And that's because you have no political underpinning at all. None. Read a book. Read Connolly at least, ffs!
I can recommend an anthology.
As for my partner (we're not married), since you brought her into this (and by the way note please that you don't like your own family brought up, even when they weren't. So nice double standards), my partner is English and supports Scottish independence. She's lived here since the early 90s and says she's never encountered anti English racism in Scotland. (I have encountered it, though I believe it is a diminishing phenomenon, and forms no part of the vast majority of pro independence sentiment. Indeed, I've encountered it far more from Unionists, perhaps counter intuitively).
The person I was talking about was an old friend who is Scottish (from the North East). She says she has encountered it. On social media. Your response to that is to ignore her concerns and react as if she's the pariah. That is a very, very troubling reaction, as seems to me to be a worse problem than the one my friend brought up.
You need to win pro Indy votes from the former "55". That means you need to be welcoming. If you retreat into purist enclaves you exclude: you end up ossifying the enclaves. That way you don't get your civic pride passport, and I don't get the historic moment I think is necessary to bring about social and economic change in Scotland.
And Barney has lost his buddy 
